Hailey arrived bright and early the next morning with enough luggage to make me wonder if she thought I’d asked her to move in. At that point, though, as long as I got to see my sister and go to my best friend’s wedding, I didn’t care if Hailey did move in permanently.
I hugged Daddy goodbye and climbed into my Uber. I tried not to think about the fact that I was going to be farther away from him than I’d ever been. I was twenty-four years old and flying an hour away from home by myself for the first time. I should have been scared. A part of me was. But I buried that feeling with the push of a Play button that brought Taylor Swift on the flight with me.
I used Miss Swift to distract me from worrying. It worked until I was buckled into my seat and the airplane taxied down the runway. Then all the thoughts I’d been trying to avoid for weeks—make that months . . . okay, years—made it to the forefront of my mind before I could pull up another playlist to drown them out. I let myself see, for the first time, how like Nancy Bates’s life mine was. I may not have had the same love for cats or Scottie dogs, but I had the same kind of codependent relationship with my dad that she did with her mom. Both of us used our needy parents as excuses not to move forward in our own lives.
When that realization hit me, followed closely by the recognition that the farther I got from home the more free I felt, followed by the reminder that Parker still hadn’t called me, I came apart. Tears sprang to my eyes and rolled down my face before I could stop them. Once they started it was full-on Hurricane Eliza, with heaving sobs, saliva, and snot spilling out of mouth and nose. The lady sitting next to me handed me a package of tissue then scooted as far from me as possible.
The emotional storm didn’t stop in baggage claim or on my Uber ride to Caroline’s. It didn’t stop after I’d made it safely to her house. It followed me through her front door and into her room, where I curled up in bed with her before even saying hello.
“You made it,” she said and held me in her arms.
All I could do was nod. I was still sobbing too hard to talk.
“When you’re ready, tell me what’s wrong,” she said and gently stroked my hair. “I’m sure all this isn’t about me and the baby, but just in case, the bleeding has stopped. The doctor thinks everything is going to be okay but wants me to stay in bed for at least another week.”
“Oh, that’s so good to hear,” I said and then cried harder out of relief.
She pulled me tighter, and I rested my head on her shoulder until I’d calmed down enough to talk. “I miss Daddy already, but it feels so good to be away. I didn’t know I’d feel like this.”
“Oh, Sweetie.” Tears sprang to her eyes. “I should have known. I thought you were perfectly happy taking care of him. I should have known it would be too hard to do by yourself.”
I reached across her belly to grab the box of tissues sitting on her side table. I dried my eyes, but by the time I’d blown my nose, my eyes were wet again. “I am happy. I love him. I love living at home. I’m happy.” I wiped my eyes and nose again. “I guess I didn’t realize taking care of him would be so hard. I didn’t know I’d have to give up so much.”
“You found a way to get here and go to Taylor’s wedding.” She took a tissue for herself and dabbed under her eyes. “It won’t always be this hard. Once I have the baby, I can help again.”
“I know you will, but you’ll also have your own life.” I didn’t know how much to reveal about what I was feeling. How could I tell her how trapped I felt, how hard it would be to have my own life if I couldn’t leave Daddy for more than a week, and not make her feel guilty for leaving me alone with him?
“You’ve got your shop and your friends, and you’ve never been interested in getting married.” She went into big sister mode, determined to solve my problems and make me happy again. “I promise, as soon as we can, Preston and I will come stay with Daddy so you can have a break. We’ll come as often as you need us to. And Parker is always right there to help too.”
I guessed she didn’t know about Parker moving to L.A., and I wasn’t sure I should be the one to tell her. I definitely couldn’t tell her about my feelings for him. She was my sister, but she was also his sister-in-law.
So I told her what she wanted to hear. “You’re right, and I’ll be fine.” I took a deep breath and shut my eyes. It had been a long, heart-wrenching thirty-six hours. I needed a nap. “I guess I’m just emotional with everything that’s happened over the last few days.”
I curled up closer to her. She turned on the TV to some old movie, and I was asleep before the opening credits finished.
Caroline and I spent the next day watching all the cheesy Valentine’s Day movies we could find. They shouldn’t have cheered me up since my chances with Parker seemed dead in the water, but somehow they did. Or maybe it was being with my sister that did it.
All too soon, it was time to get on my flight to Hawaii. I hadn’t flown since I was five years old and Daddy took Caroline and me to Yellowstone National Park. We’d flown to a little airport in Idaho to get there, and the ride was so rough Daddy had rented a car and we drove home rather than get back on an airplane. That was the last time he’d flown anywhere. Which meant it was the last time I’d flown anywhere. There’d been a spring break trip to Mexico I was supposed to go on in college, but Daddy had talked me out of it the week before.
Getting on the plane to Hawaii after a day with Caroline was the most exciting thing I’d done in a long time. But then, anyone who didn’t get excited about flying to Hawaii would have to be crazy.
And anyone who didn’t get a little scared flying over the ocean for five hours would have to be a little crazy too. We hit enough turbulence that by the time we landed, I was even more excited about getting off the plane than I’d been getting on it. Part of the excitement may have been that I’d finally get to see Taylor and have a few hours with her before she was officially more Weston’s than mine.
She met me in baggage claim and had me in a hug nanoseconds after we saw each other.
“I’m so happy you made it! I can’t believe it actually happened! I didn’t think you’d be able to leave your dad,” she gushed while rocking me left and right.
“It’s just the two of us today,” she added after she let me go. “I told Weston he was on his own because I only want to spend time with you.”
“That’s exactly what I need.” I put my phone away, determined not to check it again to see if Parker had called.
Even though she’d chosen a remote location so she could have a casual wedding, Taylor still wanted flowers. We could have ordered them in advance, but it would have been so expensive. Arranging all the flowers was my wedding gift to her. Unfortunately it also meant that as much as I wanted to sit in a cabana by the beach and take a nap, I needed to scope out the local flower markets I’d found online.
I’d already planned out Taylor’s wedding bouquet and the haku she wanted instead of a traditional veil, but seeing all the different flowers surrounding the airport had me rethinking what I wanted to do for her. As we walked to the car I stopped at every planter to inspect each new flower. I thought California had a lot of the same flowers as Hawaii, but I’d been wrong. I found at least five different flowers I’d never seen before.
“I hate to say it, but this is not the time to stop and smell the flowers,” Taylor said. “Unless you’re planning to sneak back here tonight to steal them.”
“That’s not a bad idea.” I stopped again, but she grabbed me by the arm and pulled me away before I could bend down to get a better look at a huge orange blossom I suspected was in the gardenia family.
Taylor dragged me to the car, and we went on our way. With barely twenty-four hours to get everything done before the ceremony, she’d made the right move. But once we were on the road, I spilled everything about Parker. I had to tell someone. It’d been torture waiting as long as I had to unload.
So I told her the whole story, from the moment I’d figured out I couldn’t live without him to the second where I’d hit End after pouring out my heart.
“And? What did he say when he called back?” she asked, clutching my hand as she pulled into our first market.
“He hasn’t.” I pulled my hand from hers and opened the car door.
“He hasn’t?”
I shook my head. I knew this is where we’d end up, her wanting a happy ending for me and me not being able to give it to her. You’d think she would have known how things would turn out when I’d started the whole story with, “I think I did something really stupid.”
“Are you sure?” she asked.
“I’ve checked my phone about a million times since Tuesday. I think I’d know if he’d called.”
“That’s weird,” she said. “It seems like he’d at least text to tell you he wasn’t interested.” She followed me out of the car and put her arm around me. “I know you wanted to hear from him right away, but give him time. He never rushes into anything. My guess is he’s thinking things through, so don’t give up hope.”
I nodded and walked toward the first stall in the market. They had the same orange flower I’d seen at the hotel, and I wanted to focus on it so much more than I wanted to focus on the humiliation gnawing at my gut like an angry beaver.
Thoughts swirled in my head like an overloaded washing machine. Taylor’s words had the hope I’d lost trying to squeeze its way back into my heart, but I wasn’t sure I wanted it to. I wanted to believe the only reason Parker hadn’t called was because he was “thinking things through,” but there was still a chance he just hadn’t called. And depending on which way I approached it, the odds of either one of those reasons being true were pretty high.
“Have you checked your email? Maybe he sent you a message days ago declaring his undying love for you and you haven’t answered him.” Taylor’s eyebrows rose to an accusatory angle.
“Why would he email me instead of calling?” I asked, knowing she was just trying to make me feel better, but a part of me wondered if she might be right. Because of course I hadn’t checked my email. Who checks email anymore? I mean, other than work email. I didn’t even know which address he would have sent any message to. Probably my old high school one, which I couldn’t remember the address to, let alone the password.
“I don’t know, but you can’t give up on him.” She lifted her chin and stared me down. “This has to happen. It’s meant to. Especially now that Blake ruined all my plans to have you as a sister-in-law.”
“Yeah, I wish it were meant to be. More and more I’m thinking nothing is going to happen.” I grabbed a bucket and stuck a couple bunches of the orange flower in it.
“Oh, please.” Taylor rolled her eyes and shook her head. “Something has been happening since the minute Parker came back to town. You two are the only ones dumb enough not to have seen it.”
“You think he likes me?”
“Oh, I think he more than likes you. And I know you more than like him.” She pursed her lips and nodded. “You luuuuurve him.”
“Stoooop,” I pleaded. Of course I loved Parker, but hearing Taylor repeat what I’d already revealed left me feeling raw and vulnerable. Especially when he still hadn’t called.
“You luuuuuurve him, and you want to maaaaaarrry him,” she sang, swaying back and forth to her teasing rhythm, which I did not appreciate.
“Shut up.” I looked down the open-air aisles at all the stalls full of flowers. I wanted to deny her accusation, but I would have been lying, and Taylor would have known it.
What I did do was refocus my attention on the thing that was actually happening: Taylor’s wedding. She needed flowers by tomorrow. A lot of them. And I needed to make the bouquets, haku, and table arrangements out of those flowers. That’s what needed to happen.
But the only thing I wanted to do was check every email account I’d ever had—and there were a lot of them—to see if maybe, possibly . . . hopefully what Taylor said was true.
“Check your email,” she ordered.
“I only have my work email on my phone.”
“Check. It,” Taylor demanded. Bossy Taylor was not to be disobeyed.
I did as I was told. Even though I geared myself up for the worst, it still hurt when there wasn’t anything from Parker in my inbox. I sucked in my lips and closed my eyes to let the disappointment settle back into my gut. Then I showed the empty inbox to Taylor. “See?”
“Fine. Now try the others.”
I shook my head. I’d have to work up the nerve to be disappointed again. “Tomorrow is your big day. Let’s get your flowers.”
She stared me down again, and for a minute I thought she would try and argue me out of it. But the fact was tomorrow was her big day, and if we didn’t get working on the flowers, she wouldn’t have any. My Parker problems would have to wait.