I knew Billy could no longer speak to me directly. Since he started becoming the Universe, I had to focus on the blue light that appeared above my bed in the mornings, or I couldn't hear him. It was like a cosmic radio—to hear the broadcast I had to tune in. I decided to ignore the light, at least until I figured out what to do next.
For days I pretended not to see the light above my bed. Then one afternoon I walked out my front door and was shocked to see Billy above me, a pale transparent figure, floating like a cumulus cloud in the sky. He wore a white robe and was reading a large book that he held open in his hands, a book with a red leather cover just like the red notebook he had given me. Was my imagination creating cartoons, or was Billy using his new body to get my attention? And who was giving him permission to do that? Whatever it was, ignoring Billy was no longer an option. The next morning when I saw the blue light I tuned in.
Thank you for honoring me by finally sitting down at your computer to write my words. Were you surprised to see me in the sky yesterday, with the red notebook in my hands? Having my new body does give me certain advantages [laughs].
How can I describe the blue-white sphere? Picture your own sun blazing about twenty feet above your head, so big it covers the entire sky. This sphere is made of light, not fire, and instead of being yellow, its white core turns sapphire as it radiates out. It's so powerful that if you were anywhere in its vicinity, your flesh would evaporate in a nanosecond. Since my new body is made from its light, that's not a problem for me.
All beings on earth carry the light from this sphere within them. That's why spiritual philosophies say that we are one. Where I am, this isn't just a theory. I see the blue-white light everywhere, in everything—in me, as well as in you.
The light from the sphere propels your soul into your body when you're in the womb. It then becomes the invisible force that gives you life. And when the time is right, this same light launches your soul right up into the healing chamber at the moment of your so-called death.
And, just like me, one day you will get a gorgeous new body made of the light from the blue-white sphere. Then, instead of carrying the light inside you, the light will carry you inside it. That will happen when you're living where I am now, in a realm that has no shadows.
In your world, as the earth moves around the sun, there's nothing but shadow for a good part of the time. The mystery of life on earth cannot exist without the shadow element. You cannot have the sea without storms, the earth without quakes, the wind without tornados. On earth, when the light rises, the darkness comes with it. Where there is light, there is shadow . . . unless it's midday. But it can't always be midday, Princess. And sometimes—sometimes darkness is okay too. Don't overlook the riches contained in the darkness. Life's very temporary, so don't let time just pass. Let the moments fill you—the ones you judge to be good as well as bad.
Remember, the blue-white light is always inside you. And every day, by remembering it, you feed it, and it will grow. When life is joyous, the light will be there. When there is hardship, the light will also be there.
I know you're afraid that things will go wrong. They will. It's like that on earth. We're all permitted our pain, but pain is a transitory state. My transition was to death, to this comfort and love I now receive in every molecule of my being. Know that the shadow is illusory and temporary. Bliss, ultimately bliss and light, are the truer and stronger reality.
Who but you could I tell these secrets to, my darling? Who but you could share my journey through the worlds beyond? And who but you could help me write this book?
After transcribing the above, I was almost shaking. This time, instead of making me euphoric, the energy intensified my inner conflict. Billy, Joseph, and whoever else in their dimension gives permission for this kind of thing wanted me to do something I wasn't ready for. But if I said no to the book, would I be denying the wishes of a higher realm? Would there be consequences?
I went outside, hoping to see my brother in the sky again, but he wasn't there. This was one of the few times I would speak to Billy out loud.
“I'm sorry, Billy,” I said, “but I can't do this. I don't want to write this book with you. It scares me. I don't know why, but whenever I think of your book being published I feel terrified. If people were supposed to know what happens after death, it wouldn't still be such a big mystery, would it?” I was close to tears. “I'm sorry to disappoint you, I love hearing you, I love listening to you, but I can't write this book. Please don't stop visiting me.”