She arranges for some time with Iris early the next week. She needs to apologize to her for being such a grump about Michael. To talk to her about all that is going through her mind.
They meet for coffee after classes one day. She smiles when she sees the peace and joy on her friend’s face. “Going well then?”
“Yes, very well. What about you?” She slips in the table across from her.
“I need to apologize to you. I tend to judge all men as one. Michael, he has become a true friend.”
“I’m glad.” The waitress comes out to take their order and then slips away. “So, you trust him then?”
How to answer that? She does in a lot of ways but not fully. The part she’s holding back, she doesn't need to trust him with anyway. He isn't a candidate for more than a friend. Iris watches her closely patiently awaiting her answer as the emotions play across her face.
“I trust him as a friend. He has been there when I needed him, in that capacity. I had a bad night. A real bad night. He took off classes the next day to help me work it out.”
“That’s wonderful. Not the bad night but...”
“I know. You’re right. It is. He definitely has the qualities to be a good therapist.” She gives Iris a stern look across the table.
“I’m so sorry about that. I should have told you. It really wasn't the reason. It was just to give Devin and I, privacy. The guy needed a safe place he could afford. You needed a roomie to help with the bills. That is all.”
“I know that now Iris. But you must understand why I reacted that way.”
“I do. It was a bull headed move not to be completely honest with you.” The waitress delivers their orders. After they thank her, Iris continues,” But it all worked out. He has been great.”
“He is. Not that I still don’t miss you. I know you’re much happier rooming with Devin.”
“I am. I miss you too and am glad you called for us to get together. I thought I might have really messed up and we wouldn’t be friends anymore.”
“Never. I might get angry. Scream a bit. But we will always be best friends. Now tell me about Devin.”
For the next hour, she does.
***
“Can I discuss something with you?” They sit in their usual study place at their coffee table. She looks up and nods.
“Of course. You listen to me enough.”
“Right. Well, it’s about Rose.” She continues to give him her attention as he flushes and fettles with the pen he still holds. She prays it isn't about sex. She is no good at it. Or talking about it. “I think she is or is planning on cheating on me.”
“What makes you think that?” She moves a bit closer. Her hand lays just inches away from his.
“She is talking to a guy named Tavish. Supposedly someone she goes to college with. But her voice... I know her flirting voice. Even just talking about assignments, she has that giggly quality.” Her hand covers his for just a second, giving a quick squeeze before lifting.
“You must confront her. Be firm. She owes you honesty.” He nods. She watches him swallow. “I know it’s hard. I have had only one relationship and it was, well toxic seems not strong enough. I guess I learned more what not to do then do. But I know honesty is important. Without trust, you have nothing.”
“I know. You’re right. I guess I just needed to hear someone say it.”
“That is what friends are for.”
“We have a date tonight. I may be home early.”
“I will have ice cream and whiskey waiting.”
“Thanks.”
***
He picks her up and takes her to a nice restaurant. She chatters away about her week as he listens for any talk of Tavish. She eventually notices his quiet.
“What is wrong Michael?”
“That is what I meant to ask you? Will you be honest with me?”
“Of course.” She reaches for his hand and he moves it. No, he doesn’t want her touch, not yet. She frowns as she withdraws it.
“Do you like Tavish?”
“He is my friend.” But her head drops.
“Honesty.” He insists as his heart drops.
“I didn’t mean to. You know I love you. I do, it’s just... It was like a bolt of lightning. I tried to fight it. I did but, our hearts were drawn together.”
“Have you slept with him?” his hands are clinched tight on his lap.
“No! No, I would never while...”
“But you want to.” He shakes his head,” Christ, you could’ve just told me.”
“I didn’t want to hurt you.” Whispered as her head drops again.
“I would be less hurt if I didn’t have to drag it out of you. You weren’t a prisoner to this relationship. If you want this Tavish...”
“Radcliff,” she softly says.
“This Tavish Radcliff you could’ve just told me. I won’t hold you to a relationship you want free of.”
“I’m sorry it didn’t work out for us. You’ll find her. The girl you can't live without.”
“I thought I had.” Mumbled as he rises. “There is still a reservation time. Call this Tavish. You two have dinner together. I’m going home.”
“Michael, I’m really sorry.”
“I know.” He walks out the door and text his flat mate,” Heading home. Ice cream and whiskey still available?”
A few seconds later. “Yes. I’m sorry.”