best, Mom.” Nessa looked at Aileen’s decorated candy cane cookies, then eyed her own critically and frowned.
“I know you love to compete, but this isn’t a competition, my sweet girl.” Aileen took one of Nessa’s bright pink and neon yellow candy canes and took a bite. “And yours taste delicious.”
Nessa grinned and picked up her spoon, scooped up some more of the pink icing and started smearing it on another cookie with absolutely no finesse, this one shaped like a snowflake. They’d been baking and decorating cookies the last couple hours. Well, Aileen had mostly been doing the baking but Nessa had been helping and hanging out. And Aileen was happy Nessa still wanted to be around her mom. Because she knew her time was limited. Nessa was already independent and would soon pull away even more than she already was.
At the sound of the door to the mudroom opening, she glanced up, froze for a moment when she realized it was Dante and her dad stepping inside. She’d invited her mom and dad over and clearly they’d invited Dante. He had on a simple black T-shirt and jeans, but that shirt had been created to mold to his biceps. It stretched across his arms and over his chest, highlighting exactly what kind of shape the man was in—perfect.
“Hey, hon,” her dad said as he stepped into the kitchen, looking at the array of cookies with interest. “Brought Dante with me to look at that electrical issue.”
“I’ll take payment in cookies.” Dante’s voice was teasing, but there was a hint of something else in his eyes that she felt aaaaall the way to her core.
Oh, she was in so much trouble with him. After their deal or decision or whatever last night, she was only just starting not to freak out when she thought about having sex with him. Because they hadn’t really gone into detail about…what or when they were going to get down to business.
And she was embarrassed to admit that it was all she could think about now that he was on board. She was trying to convince herself that this was just transactional (without any kind of actual payment) and nothing more. It was one friend doing another friend a favor.
But she was a liar.
Because he made her feel safe, always had. Which was ridiculous because he was a hitman, but he’d always been so kind to her. Long before she’d been aware of him as a man, he’d simply been her friend. But things had changed over the last few years. She’d been moving past her trauma and was very, very aware of just how masculine Dante was. She’d started to look at him like more than a friend. Waaaay more.
“Thank you both, and yes, all the cookies you want.” She leaned into her dad for a hug, then shoved a plate of decorated wreaths at Dante when he rounded the island.
Because apparently she’d decided to kick up the awkward between them by about a hundred notches. It wasn’t like he’d come over to her to start making out in front of everyone. But she’d needed a barrier in the form of cookies. Because she had no idea how to have normal sex. Or sex at all. Or how to be intimate with someone who was also her best friend. Gah!
“My mom had a date last night,” Nessa announced cheerily.
Aileen looked at her daughter, who didn’t even glance up from decorating. “Ah, yeah, I did,” Aileen said. She hadn’t told anyone about running into Dante and Elli, and didn’t think Elli had said anything either. Not that she’d heard anyway. And she had no doubt her parents would have said something about her being mugged. They took overprotective to the next level.
She loved Elli so much for her discretion alone. Unlike everyone else in the neighborhood, Elli didn’t treat her like she was made of spun glass and she didn’t stick her nose into Aileen’s business.
“I hope they go on a second date,” her daughter continued, oblivious to the tension rolling off Dante.
Her dad was busying perusing the cookies, but then said, “So, how was it?”
“What?” Aileen asked.
“The date?” He snagged one of the snowman cookies, nodded approvingly at it.
“Oh, fine. Ah, I mean, nice. I had cake.” Oh. My. God. Could she sound more stupid? What was coming out of her mouth right now? I had cake! She sounded like she was five. To her credit, it was hard to concentrate when Dante was right there, clearly not liking her talking about her date if his dark expression was any indication.
Maybe it was because of…their deal? But that was just a friend helping a friend out. No…this was just awkward and she was simply getting in her head.
“So where’s Mom?” she asked, wanting to talk about anything but her date.
“She was finishing something up for the party, but will be over later.” Her dad motioned for Dante to come with him, then the two of them disappeared and moments later she heard their soft footfalls heading up the stairs.
Aileen could suddenly breathe easier without Dante so close—and smelling so good she wanted to bury her face in his neck. While wrapping her body around him and climbing him like a tree. Jesus, she had issues.
“Why’d you tell them I had a date?” she asked when it was just the two of them.
Nessa looked up, her expression almost too innocent. “Was it a secret?”
“No. I was just asking.”
“I thought they’d like to know. It’s a big deal and I’m happy you’re dating.”
“Really?” She’d told Nessa that she might try dating, but that she’d never bring anyone home. Of course that would change if she got serious with someone, but she never wanted to lie to her daughter about where she was going so she’d been up front. At this point she couldn’t even imagine bringing anyone home to meet her. You know, except Dante. But that was a different can of worms.
“Yeah! Not that I think you need a man, but I want you to be happy.”
She wrapped her arm around her daughter, squeezed. “I am happy. I’ve got you.”
“Well duh. But you know what I mean.” She jumped off her stool, shoved it back. “Can I go play soccer? Tia’s parents set up new nets in their backyard. We’ll have a couple hours before the party.”
“Sure. Let me just check with her parents.” The neighborhood holiday party wasn’t for another five hours so they had plenty of time. And her daughter definitely needed to burn off energy.
“They know I’m coming over,” Nessa called out as she raced up the stairs, likely to change into her practice gear.
“Of course I’m the last one hearing about it,” she murmured to herself as she texted their neighbors and longtime friends.
She received an immediate response telling her to send Nessa over when she was ready. Not long after the front door slammed behind Nessa, Aileen got another text telling her that her daughter had made it safely. So she packed away all the frosted deliciousness then headed up to her office to make a handful of ASMR videos. She tended to make them in batches so she had a buffer of time for uploads, especially around the holidays. And her office’s sound insulation was incredible thanks to her parents, who’d installed it themselves years ago. Sure, they were overprotective, but they were also incredibly supportive.
She hoped to see Dante before he left—alone—and make up for the weirdness of shoving a plate of cookies at him.
Seriously, what was wrong with her? No, she knew the answer to that: now that sex was on the table, she’d turned into an anxious lunatic.
By tonight she was going to get it together, because after the holiday party Nessa was staying with her grandparents for the night. It was the perfect time for Aileen and Dante to…explore things. She didn’t think she was ready for full-on sex, but she wanted to get naked with another human.
No, not just another human, but Dante. God, she was trying to play this off as just friends, but the truth was he meant everything to her. Had for a long time. He was a constant in her life. And he knew about her past, knew the truth of Nessa’s parentage. He knew her inside and out and had been one of her closest confidants. Then she’d tossed a grenade into things and…couldn’t even regret it.
She knew she was going to get burned, knew she had to play things cool, especially with someone like him. He’d traveled the world, had so much experience and likely had lovers everywhere. That was the one thing they’d never talked about so she didn’t actually know for sure, but she had eyes. The man was built like a god, had an edge to him, and she had no doubt women just flocked to him.
Ugh. That was definitely not something she wanted to think about now. Or ever. Barftastic, as Nessa liked to say about anything she found gross.
Great, now she was quoting her eleven-year-old.
Shaking off the thoughts of her chaotic mind, she pulled up her laptop to check emails and social media messages before diving into making videos. She had a virtual assistant who helped with a lot of the back-end stuff, and a great video editor, but she liked to be the one who responded to messages.
Just as she finished reading through all the new or important messages, she frowned at a new message that popped up.
Your last video was clearly rushed. It’s a stinking pile of hot garbage. Stick to what your viewers like or you won’t like the fallout. Just because you’ve gotten so big doesn’t mean you can forget about your original fans. We made you and we can break you.
A shudder snaked down her spine. It was just words on a screen, she reminded herself as she got ready to make her videos. But she saved it in her “red flag file” just in case she needed it later. It wasn’t the first weird message she’d gotten and she knew it wouldn’t be the last. But for now she was going to shelve it and deal with it in the future if necessary.
At least that was what she told herself, but she couldn’t shake the feeling of unease even hours later as she got ready for the party she’d been looking forward to for ages.