Granny?” Bethany drew her shawl closer and whispered in the old woman’s ear, “Could you spare a moment?” Granny passed the child on her lap to her daughter-in-law and stood. Neither of them spoke as they walked away from the campfire and music.
Barely a note of the music reached Bethany’s ear. She’d been sitting there, pondering Joshua’s words and the anger behind them. None of it made sense to her; but since she hadn’t grown up in a family or around men, his behavior baffled her. “Seek wise counsel.” The words from Proverbs threaded through her mind, and she’d chosen the one older woman in the group she trusted.
Granny led her past the circle of wagons, waved off Homer Green as he strode his night watch, and settled into a sandy bank with a muffled grunt. Bethany joined her. “You and your man havin’ a set-to?”
Instead of feeling embarrassed, Bethany felt a surge of relief. “Yes. I don’t know what to do.”
Granny stared up at the stars for a few minutes then asked, “So what do you think the trouble is?”
“I don’t know what the problem is. Josh is mad, and he won’t talk to me.”
“Men are a closed-mouth breed, child. Best you learn that straight off. He ain’t said nothing a-tall?”
“He’s weary, Granny. I’ve tried to make allowances for that, but he’s gotten snappish over silly things like me promising to make custard for Papa without asking him. Tonight he told me”—she swallowed hard and whispered—“he told me he wants me. I’ve been his wife completely, so that can’t be the problem. I just don’t understand.”
Granny nodded and hummed sagely. “You sure you wanna listen to an old woman whose words have to cut so’s the hurt will heal?”
“It can’t hurt any more than knowing something is wrong.”
“Well then, put your hand in mine.” As soon as their hands joined, Granny prayed, “Lord, You’re the Source of wisdom and love. We’d be grateful to You for an extry measure of both tonight. Amen.”
“Thank you, Granny. I don’t have a mother or a mother-in-law to go to, and Penny—” She spread her hands in a gesture of helplessness.
“Good thing you didn’t go to her. I’m ’bout to speak some truths, ‘cuz you’ve asked.” She looked Bethany straight in the eye. “It’s time you put being a wife first.”
Stunned, Bethany stared at her.
“Your man loves you. He protects you, provides for you, and treats you tenderly. Is it any wonder he wants the same commitment and consideration?”
“I do his laundry and keep the wagon neat and cook his favorite things. Mrs. Throckmorton always taught us the way to a man’s heart was through his stomach, so I’ve tried hard to—”
“You’re not getting the point.” Granny leaned closer. “ ’Member that sign on the rear of your wagon on the day we left Indy?”
“Tied the knot and un-afray-ed?”
“Well, darlin’, he tied the knot, but you’re at loose ends. He wants to hold fast to you, to be complete with you. The Good Book says a man shall leave, and the woman should cleave. Instead of cleaving to him and pulling the knot tight and secure, you keep snagging. You’ve lassoed his sis and pa into your lives, and the poor man is desperate for you to treat him like he’s all you need to fill your heart. Instead of showing him your full loyalty and respect, you treat him like he’s no more important than his kin. Betcha he’s got it in his mind that you wed him to stick with his sister instead of because he captured your heart.”
Granny’s words triggered memories. God made us partners … supposed to dine alone … I’m not about to spend all of that time sharing you with Papa and Penny. Josh’s words flooded back, and a terrible realization dawned. He was telling me that all along!
“Oh, Granny,” she cried, “what have I done?”
“It ain’t what you’ve done—it’s what you’re gonna do that matters. You love him, don’t you?”
“With all my heart!”
“Figured as much. Time for you to talk turkey with your man. Time to tell him straight out that you love him. Then you’re gonna have to show your devotion to him by putting everyone else a sad second. You got a big heart and wanna draw everybody in. When he tied the knot, he cut the strings to everyone else. What you need to do is put your man first. Let him know he’s special, then all the rest’ll fall into place.”
Bethany nodded somberly.
“Best we get back and bed down. Tomorra’s gonna come all too soon.” They walked back to the wagons, and before they parted, Bethany gave Granny Willodene a hug. “I’ll be prayin’ for you, girl. Commit your marriage to the Lord, and it’ll all come out right.”
Bethany crept under the wagon, drew the quilts over herself, and snuggled close to Josh. Her chest ached with the sick feeling that she’d failed her husband so miserably. How he must have hurt to have finally spoken to her as he had tonight!
Even in his sleep, Josh rolled over and wrapped his arms around her. She pressed her ear to his chest and listened to the beat of his heart, all the while praying the Lord would reveal to her how to be the wife Josh needed.
Josh crawled from beneath the wagon, yawned, and stretched. Somehow, he’d slept through the rifle shot to start the day.
“Good morning.” Bethany brushed a kiss on his stubbly cheek and pressed a cup of hot coffee in his hands. “Breakfast is ready.”
Papa plopped down in a chair and got an indignant look. “Where’s my oatmeal? We had flapjacks yesterday.”
“Josh likes flapjacks,” Bethany stated as she put a small jug of molasses on the table.
Though everything else seemed the same, Josh sensed a difference in his wife. He couldn’t put his finger on it. Last night he’d been sharp with her and stopped before he lost his temper. They needed to talk though. He’d let things get out of hand.
“Megan just finished reading Malaeska, so I thought we could walk with her and Emma today and discuss the book,” Penny said as she cut her food.
“Go ahead. I’ll be walking with Josh today.”
Josh startled a bit at his wife’s announcement.
“Marching alongside the oxen in this sand is no picnic,” Papa announced. “You’ll get gritty.”
Bethany merely shrugged as if it didn’t matter. Later, as she ambled at his side, she still ignored the unpleasantness of the terrain. “Josh, I need to apologize.” He glanced at her.
She slipped her hand into his and threaded their fingers into a weave she tightened with a squeeze. Then she turned her hand. “My wedding ring isn’t shiny anymore.”
“It can be polished.”
“Our marriage isn’t shiny anymore either, and it’s my fault. I didn’t grow up in a family.”
“And you married me to be part of a family.” Every word fell like lead bullets. “Yes. No. Oh, Josh. I’ve done it all wrong.” She let out a ragged sigh. “Do you regret marrying me?”
“Never! I worry that you regret marrying me. Josh, we scarcely knew each other, and I’ve enjoyed getting to know you. You’ve grown in my heart until you’ve filled it completely.”
He shook his head. “It doesn’t come across that way at all. You’ve roped my family and half of this wagon train into our lives.”
“Only because I felt so secure that my heart grew and I felt free to reach out. Now, though, I know I was wrong. My allegiance to you should have been the priority, and I ought to have made it clear that you rate above any other relationship.”
“Even Penny and Papa?”
“Why do you even ask?”
He felt a pang at the confession, but it was time to settle the matter once and for all. “You’re always asking what they want. You even list them before me.” He kicked the sand with the toe of his boot and quoted the words he’d so often heard her say, “Papa and Penny and you.”
“Josh, that wasn’t what I meant. I was saving the best for last!”
The surprised hurt in her tone and the explanation acted as a salve to his wounded soul.
“It’s not just your fault,” he said. “I’ve been fostering the hurt instead of discussing it with you. I let my pride hold me back, and it’s put distance between us.”
She turned loose of his hand and wound her arm about his waist. He curled his arm around her shoulders and held her close. “I do love you,” she said tearfully. “More than I ever thought possible.”
“Those are the sweetest words I’ve ever heard. I love you, too, Bethy-mine.”
“Granny Willodene once told me to find happiness in the ordinary because it makes for a pleasant life and a serene heart. I’m thinking that’s true of a marriage, as well.”
“You’ll never be ordinary,” he chuckled. “But I’ve already found considerable happiness in you. Ecclesiastes 9:9 says, ‘Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest.’ I think we’ve both been concentrating more on the future and our destination instead of enjoying each day as the Lord gives it to us.”
“So we need to take pleasure wherever we are … even if it’s a gritty, dry stretch.”
“With the love God gives us, it’s an oasis.”
Rawhide rode up. “Keep a-goin’, folks. We’ll hit Ash Hollow tomorrow. Fresh water and trees.”
Bethany stopped and wrapped her other arm around Josh and hugged him tight. “Our oasis!”
Ash Hollow was the first steep grade they took. Men tied logs to the backs of the wagons to slow their descent. They camped for two days among the first trees they’d seen in over one hundred miles and relished the first fresh water they’d had in weeks.
Josh sat by his wife and smiled. She’d curled her foot up beneath her, and she hummed as she stirred something in a big bowl. “What do you have there?”
She held it up. “Have a taste.”
He swiped his finger through the batter and licked the sweetness off. “Mmm. Apple something.”
“Apple spice cake.”
“Looks like enough batter to float a boat.”
Bethany smiled. “Apple is your favorite, so I wanted enough for you, then I thought to make one for Granny Willodene as a thanks for her wisdom. Penny’s going to sugar glaze all of them if she can have one to share while the girls discuss their books.”
“Do we have that many pie pans?”
“No.” She giggled. “So I’m baking one for the Cole brothers since they’re lending me two pans.”
After a two-day rest in Ash Hollow, the train continued. A few men managed to bag some antelope. The women followed the recipe for roast saddle of venison in Bethany’s cookbook. Penny made mashed potatoes with Edward’s dried flakes, Bert made biscuits by the score, and nearly everyone else contributed dishes for a big feast. In the midst of all of the activity, Granny Willodene wandered toward a chair and swiped something from Lavinia’s hands. “What is this?”
“None of your business!”
Granny turned the book over and read aloud, “Malaeska.”
“I wondered to whom my book was passed,” Bethany said.
“Well, I’m gonna hang on to this until Lavinia and her mama finish washin’ the supper dishes,” Granny announced. “Everyone else has worked for the meal. I’m sure they want to do their fair share.”
Bethany thought the day had been surprising enough, but as the Millberg women washed the dishes, Buck and Bert Cole shuffled up. “Doc. Mrs. Rogers. Would you be willing to loan that dime novel to us?”
Josh raised his brow at Bethany, read her expression, and managed to sound completely unfazed. “Just as soon as Lavinia is done with it.”
“Hope she reads faster than she does dishes,” Bert grumbled.
“We have a long time on the trail. I promise you’ll get to read it,” Bethany said as she slipped her hand into Josh’s.
Two days later during lunch, Lavinia returned the book, and Bethany passed it on to Buck as the wagon train started its afternoon travel. About an hour later, a huge mound of rock with a breathtaking spire came into view.
“Chimney Rock!” someone shouted.
“One-third of the way there,” Papa declared.
“Well, what do you think?” Josh asked.
Bethany studied it. “It’s certainly a magnificent thing. I can see why they call it Chimney Rock. It’s aptly named.”
“Are you longing for a chimney of your own?” Papa asked.
Bethany shook her head and smiled. “My hearth is an open fire. I’m content to walk toward the sunset and sleep beneath a canopy of stars, because God gave my heart a home in a green wedding wagon with the man I love.”