“It is your turn to say something now, Mr. Darcy. —I talked about the dance, and you ought to make some kind of remark on the size of the room, or the number of couples.” He smiled, and assured her that whatever she wished him to say should be said. —ELIZABETH BENNET AND MR. DARCY IN PRIDE AND PREJUDICE
A very wise man once compared a country dance to marriage. He might have been stretching his metaphor a bit, but one point is well-taken: You have your partner’s undivided attention for an hour or so. A smart girl takes advantage of this time by having an intelligent and witty conversation with her partner.
• Talk about what interests him. This might seem obvious, but more than one young lady has bored her partner by nattering on about muslins or something equally silly. If he is any kind of a gentleman, he will at least pretend to be interested in the subject, so do be aware of what you are saying.
• Tease him. He will pretend to not understand you, or to be offended, but deep down he enjoys it.
• Make him laugh. Even if you did not intend to be funny, you will endear yourself to him.
• Praise his good deeds. If he danced with a young lady in need of a partner, saving her from humiliation, let him know that you noticed and that you approve.
• Play hard to get. Many men like a challenge, so do not make it too easy for him to hold your attention. Talk to your girlfriends or even other gentlemen. But be careful! In such a case, some men will redouble their efforts to impress you, but some will give you up as a bad prospect. Use this skill judiciously.
• Be prepared for silence. Sometimes his mood might call for just that.
THE DEMOCRACY OF THE DANCE
In the eighteenth century and earlier, the most fashionable dancing was in the French style, particularly the minuet, which was danced by one couple at a time with everyone else watching. The idea of the minuet was to perform gracefully and give enjoyment to those watching. The highest-ranking persons would dance together, and so on down the line, so the social order was strictly observed.
English country dancing, which came into prominence on both sides of the English Channel after the French Revolution, was a more democratic style of dancing. As a couple worked their way down the set, they interacted with every other couple in the set. Aristocrats would interact with gentry, tradespeople, or even servants who were called in to make up a set if there were not enough couples, giving them their hands and looking them in the eye. Those who considered themselves “above their company,” such as Mr. Darcy at the Meryton assembly in Pride and Prejudice, greatly insulted those present.