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Liam grew up in the seaside village of Howth. His father was a fisherman. And while Liam enjoyed watching the sea and the boats floating out on their daily catches, he’d never had a love of fishing the way his father did. Until he’d been given the unexpected opportunity to go to school, he had assumed he’d have no choice but to pursue the family line. He had jumped at the chance to pursue a profession he found far more appealing, leaving Howth behind four years earlier and making the relatively short trip to Dublin.
He had been back a few times over the years of his study, but not as often as he likely should have been. He was mere days from his final examinations, and yet here he was, in Howth once more, walking the docks to his father’s boat.
His mind was swimming, confused by the conflicting voices that were there. He had been given a task by someone with the ability to deeply influence his future, and he didn’t want to let him down and, as a result, let himself down. And yet, fulfilling that task would hurt Winnie, and he didn’t want to do that, either. She’d claimed a place in his heart, but even that didn’t make sense. He’d been less than honest with her; she’d been quite dishonest with him. How could he still have tender feelings for someone he wasn’t even sure he knew?
In addition to the conflicting demands of these two individuals, he was fighting the uncertainty of his own conscience. Protecting Winnie meant joining in her lie. Could he bear more lies on his conscience? And what if she was found out? The consequences would be quite dire.
No matter what he chose, he would be in the wrong. He could protect Winnie, but he would have to lie to do it. He could tell the truth, but that would hurt Winnie.
Liam’s father was the wisest man he knew. Four years spent amongst academics and scholars had not convinced him that wisdom resided only in the learned.
As it was late in the day, he was quite certain he would find his father’s boat back in the dock. And he was correct.
He shouted out a “halloo!”
Da’s head popped into view from behind the mast. His face lit when he saw Liam there. Seeing an excited welcome in his father’s eyes was unspeakably comforting. “Liam, my boy. Wasn’t expecting you.”
Liam carefully stepped onboard and crossed to his father. He was embraced quickly and firmly, as always. No one hugged him tighter than his father did.
“What brings you home to Howth?” his father asked. “Did you finally grow tired of the city?”
“I like Dublin,” he said.
Da shook his head. “Can’t understand that. All the bustle and the noise.”
Liam felt compelled to be honest. He’d done enough bending of the truth lately. “I do like Dublin, but I miss the peace of the country at times.”
“The country is in your blood, Liam. No amount of city living is going to change that.” There was no criticism in his voice or tone. He didn’t begrudge Liam the education he’d received. And, Liam felt certain, his father wouldn’t hold against him his decision to make a permanent residence in Dublin. But he knew, as Liam did when he was being honest with himself, that there was a part of him that would always be the countrified son of a fisherman. And Liam was not ashamed of that.
“Don’t just stand there being an academic. Help me repair this net.” Most of the heartfelt talks Liam had had with his father over the years occurred while repairing nets or fishing equipment or tending to the boat. While he wasn’t pursuing fishing as a profession, he certainly knew how to do the work. He took up the net and began mending.
“I know you aren’t meant to be done at Trinity for another week or so,” Da said. “Which means you’ve come here with a problem.”
Liam nodded. “I have a dilemma, one I’m not certain how to resolve.”
“Spit it out, then.”
Liam spoke as he worked, relating to his father the difficulties he was under, but doing so in vague enough terms that he wasn’t betraying any secrets. He told him he was stuck between a duty to report to someone quite important at Trinity the truth of a situation there, and hurting someone who didn’t deserve to be hurt by telling the truth.
“I’m not certain what to do. I don’t particularly like to lie, but neither do I care to see people injured for circumstances that are complicated.”
“I notice you say this person you’d be hurting isn’t innocent,” Da said.
“No, but there’s a remarkably good reason for the guilt.”
Da looked up from his work and directly into Liam’s face. “You always were one for black-and-white thinking, lad. I suppose that’s why you’re so good at designing your bridges and solving issues of crossing ravines and gaps. But, Liam, spanning gaps in life isn’t so cut and dry. With people, you’re not always trying to cross the ravine; sometimes, you’re looking for a way around it.”
Liam thought on that for a moment. “You’re saying there’s likely to be an answer somewhere between telling the full truth and telling a complete lie.”
“What I’m saying is you’re needing to find a new answer. Find one different than what it is you think you’re limited to.” Da looked out over the sea, calm and serene at the moment. “Imagine how it would be if, when I headed down to the water, I never allowed m’self to change course. If I went to the spot where I’d expected to find a catch, and no fish were there. Do you suppose I’d drop anchor, shrug, and curse fate? No. I’d find a new spot to fish. A new answer.”
“I do rather feel like I’m sailing in terribly choppy waters at the moment.”
“Ah.” Da took up his work again. “Then there’s a woman involved.”
Liam laughed. “Spoken like a man who was tossed about more than once by a woman.”
“Your ma was a lovely and loving colleen, but she could rage like a hurricane at times.” Too much fun lay in his father’s tone for the reminiscence to be anything but entirely pleasant.
“I can’t say my troublesome lass rages, necessarily. But she’s fearsome in her own way. And she’s probably the bravest and most determined person I’ve ever met.”
“And I’d wager she is the one who’d be hurt by you being bluntly truthful.”
Liam nodded. “One of two.”
“Then if you don’t return to Dublin first thing in the morning and find that elusive new answer, I’ll lose all faith in this fancy education you’ve been getting. Because, my boy, hurting a woman who’s captured any bit of your heart would be inarguably stupid.”
“Return in the morning?”
“You’ll not come all this way and refuse to take supper with me,” Father said. “I’ve not seen you in ages, and once you get your fancy Dublin apprenticeship you’ve talked about, you’re likely to come back even less.”
“Oh, I doubt that. As you said, the country is in my blood.”
Da arched an eyebrow at him. “But it’s hardly in your voice anymore. You’re sounding more and more Dublin every time I see you.”
“This troublesome woman we spoke of said the same thing. I could tell she was country, and I mentioned it. And she said I sounded Dublin. I guess I didn’t realize until then how citified my voice had become.”
“’Tisn’t a bad thing,” his father said. “Life changes us. Circumstances demand things of us we didn’t expect. As long as you continue to be a good person, and never grow ashamed of where you’re from, I’ll not begrudge you where you live or how you talk.”
“I could never be ashamed of Howth, of fishing, or of you and Ma. Not ever.”
“And she’d be blessed proud of you, Liam,” Da said.
Liam allowed a smile. “And what about you? Are you proud as well?”
Father jerked his chin upward. “Depends.”
“On what?”
“Whether or not you’re smart enough to win back the woman you’ve fallen in love with.”
Liam didn’t know if it was possible. He didn’t know the entirety of his own feelings. He didn’t know if the deception they’d built their connection on could be overcome. But he wouldn’t give up hope. That was something he always found in the country: hope.