Talaya had a therapy session in an hour. She also still felt a little nauseous from the mild concussion she’d received after being thrown across the backseat of the truck and knocking her head against the window during yesterday’s early morning accident. Ridge suggested she stay home today. No, he’d insisted and they’d sort of had their first argument because of her refusal.

Well, it was probably more so because of what she’d neglected to tell him before the accident that had incensed him and rightfully so. Still, she’d stood her ground.

“What did you just say?” Ridge asked as he stood in front of the wall mirror inside their closet.

She cleared her throat and took a deep breath. Releasing it quickly, she spit the words out. “I’ve gotten a couple of text messages and a phone call. I was going to ignore them because I just thought it was the Cult again and I’m done letting them dominate my life. But, considering everything that’s happened, I figured I should tell you.”

He stepped out of the closet, one hand still on his half-completed tie as if it were now frozen there since she’d made her announcement. It was no surprise to her that he looked good. Ridge was fine as hell whether he was wearing basketball shorts and a sweaty t-shirt, jeans, sweatpants, or a tailored suit. He wore everything well and her mouth still watered each time she saw him. The gray pants and white dress shirt would’ve been bland if he wasn’t wearing them. Even the charcoal gray tie he hadn’t finished tying added to the fine ass package that was Ridge Donovan. His locs were pulled back in a black band, his silver Breitling watch sparkled on his left wrist. And his brow was etched with lines as he frowned in her direction.

“Did Dino know?” he asked, breathing hard through his nose in an action that was obvious he was trying to rein in his temper.

“No,” she blinked. “No, I didn’t tell anybody.”

He took another step closer to her before he stopped and nodded. “Okay. So, you were just going to keep this to yourself. For how long? Forever? Another couple of days? A week?” He finally dropped his hand from the tie and moved his fingers up to massage his right temple.

He still had a headache. Early yesterday evening, after everyone had left and they were alone in this same bedroom, he’d dropped down onto the edge of the bed, rested his elbows on his knees and held his head in his hands. He was in so much pain after being jolted forward and having his head smash against the headrest of the seat in front of them. Talaya had sat on the bed beside him and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. She held him like that for a long time, until he suggested they take a hot bath and climb into bed. And that’s what they’d done before finally falling asleep. A part of her wished they’d stayed asleep instead of waking up to this argument.

“I didn’t want to have to tell you,” she replied honestly. “I just wanted it to go away. I wanted it all to go away. The nightmares, the fear, all of it.”

She knew she’d said that to him before, saw the recognition in his eyes and the moment he’d tried once again to pull back on his anger. He dropped his arm so that now both were at his sides but he didn’t move closer to her.

“This is what was bothering you all last week wasn’t it? This is what I asked you about and you didn’t want to tell me. So, you lied to me?” he asked.

That last question held more hurt than Talaya had ever heard in a person’s voice and she hated it.

“No,” she whispered, then swallowed. “No. I didn’t lie to you. I answered your question, I told you I didn’t want to tell you what was bothering me because I only wanted to show you how much I loved you and that was the truth. I didn’t…I don’t want any of this messing with what we have, Ridge. I’m choosing you this time. I’m choosing us. Not them. Not the past.”

“Baby,” he said with a heavy sigh. “I need you to be honest with me. I need us to feel like we can be honest with each other, about everything.”

“Even if what we say or what we’re going through might hurt the other person?” she asked, honestly not understanding what he was saying. Or did she understand it too well? Hadn’t her father lied to her and her mother about the other life he was living? And hadn’t that secret come back to devastate them?

“I can’t protect you if I don’t know who or what’s coming at you.” He stated that simple truth as if it were something she should’ve already known. And maybe it was. Maybe she did know that not telling him was wrong. But it was her decision to make.

“You don’t know who or where the members of the Cult are. Even Pierce and the rest of his team don’t know. There’s no way to tell how big the organization is or if the half dozen people they’ve arrested already are the only ones. I’m going to always be looking over my shoulder for one of them. Always dreaming about the darkness that started this disastrous train of my life. But if I take a stand, if I decide not to let any of this totally take over…” She stopped and shook her head. “I’m trying so hard to do that, Ridge. And I thought…I thought this was a step toward that goal. I thought it meant I was doing better.”

He closed the space between them and put a hand to the back of her neck to ease her into him. His other arm looped around her back as he held her close. She lay her head against his chest thankful that she hadn’t applied her make up yet so there was no chance of her ruining his white shirt. She eased her arms around him and held on tight. If he wasn’t letting her go, she wasn’t going to let him go.

“You are doing better,” he said, kissing the top of her head. “But I don’t want you to feel like you have to lie, or conceal things, to keep moving with your progress. That’s not how I want things to be between us.”

She nodded. “I understand.”

“Good,” he said. “Because I hope you’ll understand now more than ever how important it is for me to keep you safe. Which means, Dino and Jaheem stay with you always. No exceptions. And you tell them as soon as you get another call or text.”

She pulled back and looked up at him. He was more dressed than she was since she only had her black slacks and lavender camisole on at the moment. “I can do that,” she told him.

“You could also take the day off. Or just work from home.”

Then she’d groaned and tried to pull out of his grasp, but he held her fast.

“C’mon, babe, you’ve got an excuse—you were in an accident. Not to mention you’re the boss. You don’t even have to answer to anyone if you don’t show up,” he told her.

“So, what? I just get to sit in here all day while you go out and continue on with your life? How’s that fair? Didn’t you say Pierce told you the guy who owned the car was the same one who came to your office last year? So that means he’s connected to you, not me,” she argued.

“You’re splitting hairs. Danger is danger regardless of its origin,” he said.

“Then, you’re in just as much danger as I am. Are you staying home from work today?”

That had been the moment she knew she’d won the argument. And by the time they were both completely dressed, he’d walked her to the back door of his black SUV and kissed her before helping her inside. Since the Bentayga was a total loss and for the moment Ridge’s other cars weren’t going to offer as much security as an SUV, Sage had gotten another vehicle from Spades Security. That was the security firm Que and his brother Jus owned, the firm where all of Team Donovan’s security came from. So, this new black Escalade had been specially designed with bulletproof windows and reinforced steel doors. When she’d first come downstairs, she’d also heard Dino and Sage talking about the extra weapons that were stored in a secret panel along the inside of the doors. Because the man that had owned the car from the accident yesterday was also connected to the mafia, they were preparing for the worst and once she got past how fucking frightening that really was, she felt grateful to have them and the rest of their team around.

That’s why she’d been honest with Dino this afternoon when she’d told him she needed to make a special stop before going to her therapy session.

“We shouldn’t deviate from the schedule,” he’d said as he looked at her through the rearview mirror.

“You’re here with me. Jaheem is riding shotgun. We may not have the kitted-out vehicle that Ridge does now, but I know you and Jaheem loaded up the back before we left. You’re going to walk in with me, stay with me the entire time and then walk back out with me. I’m as protected as I can be,” she said.

Dino shook his head. “Yeah, but whoever is in there hasn’t been vetted. Ridge isn’t going to like this.”

“He’s not here is he,” she said tightly. “I’ll give you all the names and you can vet them as soon as we get back home. And I’ll tell Ridge about this impromptu stop myself.”

Moments later, Dino pulled up in front of the rowhouse that she’d given him the address to. She waited for him to come back and open the door for her. Then she waited until Jaheem was at her other side before she started to walk up the sidewalk. Dino stayed in front of her as she moved, but Jaheem fell back a step so that he was right behind her. They were both close enough that she could smell their conflicting colognes.

The brick dwelling located twenty minutes out from the City Centre was broken into two apartments. After Dino pushed through the waist-height iron gate, she followed him through to the small courtyard which led to the front door of the end unit.

“Wait here,” Dino told her and when she would’ve argued, Jaheem touched a hand to her arm.

She turned back to see the man giving her a slight nod. “It’ll just take a few minutes for him to check out the inside. We could’ve sat in the truck while he did this, but we figured you would complain about that.”

A small smile played at her lips. “Yeah, I would’ve.”

Jaheem grinned. “Uh huh, we knew that. And look, we aren’t trying to be all in your business. But Bossman will kill us—like I mean, he told us exactly how he would kill us—if we let anything happen to you.”

Talk like that should’ve made Talaya uncomfortable. After living under the same roof with a man who actually had killed people, being in love with one now who had the capacity to take a life as well, should’ve bothered her. But it didn’t. Ridge wasn’t her father. He was an honorable man, an honest one. A man who loved hard and completely and who was loyal to a fault. There wasn’t anything he wouldn’t do for the people he loved, and now, she was included in that number.

Five minutes later, Dino opened the front door and waved them inside. She walked up the steps and through the open door to the second-floor apartment. Since Dino had already gone up there and told the tenants who he was and that she was waiting downstairs, she guessed it made sense that they’d left the door open for her. Still, when she walked in, she said, “Hello?” as a way of announcing herself.

“Hi, Talaya,” Moriah Zanona said as she peeked her head out of the small kitchen. “Come on back, I’m just starting my supper.”

Moriah was a round woman with a heavily creamed coffee complexion and cheeks that always seemed rosy without the application of make-up. Her hair was a mass of auburn curls that stopped at the base of her neck and her smile was always ready.

“Hi, Moriah. Oh wow, it smells so good in here,” she said as she walked into the kitchen.

Jaheem had stayed in the hallway right beside the door while Dino had come inside the apartment with her. His tall and wide frame looked woefully out of place in the small space, but he’d hung back in the front of the apartment while she stood in the kitchen where he could still see her.

“Good to see you’re okay,” Moriah said. She stood at the sink now, breaking off pieces of lettuce and rinsing them under water in the sink. “That accident was all anybody could talk about on the TV yesterday and again this morning. I just kept praying that you were well and now I see you are. That’s a pretty color on you.”

Talaya looked down at the lavender camisole she wore under the black jacket to her pantsuit. “Thanks,” she said and then set her purse on one of the chairs at the small table. Then she pulled out another chair and sat down. “Is there something I can help you with?”

“Oh no, love. You just sit there and rest. I’ve got some sweet ‘n sticky BBQ and some garlic parmesan wings in the oven. That’s what you’re smelling.” She looked over her shoulder at Talaya with a wide grin. “Gonna make a nice salad and some honey glazed plantains to go with it.”

Talaya’s stomach growled. She hadn’t been hungry at lunch so she’d only picked at the tuna salad sandwich Dino had ordered for her. “That sounds amazing.”

“You’re welcome to stay for dinner if you like,” Moriah said. “I know today’s not your normal visit day so I was a little surprised to get that knock at my door. But just as soon as I finish this I’ll go back and wake Imani from her nap.”

“Oh, no, don’t wake her,” Talaya said. “If I could, I’d just like to go back and put my eyes on her.” Yesterday had been a jolt to her system in more ways than one and one of the first thoughts she’d had this morning was of Imani.

“Sure, I understand. Go on back, you know the way.” Moriah turned back to her work and Talaya stood to leave the kitchen.

When she passed Dino she said, “I’m just gonna go back here for a minute and then I’ll be ready to go.”

His response was a nod.

Talaya had only been here two other times before and both times it had been before she’d gotten involved with Ridge. She’d seen Imani in the last ten months, but each time it had been at the school she attended or during a supervisory visit with Shenikah, who used to run the Addison Agency where Talaya had worked and where she’d originally met Imani. Shenikah now ran the adoption department of the Maxine Donovan Future Foundation because it was important to Talaya to continue the work Shenikah started of finding good homes for Black children.

Imani, however, still hadn’t found her forever home. Moriah had been Imani’s third foster home placement and thankfully, there’d been no abuse here so Imani hadn’t required a new placement. Moriah and her husband Heathcliff were excellent, loving, and caring foster parents. But they were only temporary, the couple’s goal was to help, not raise a child on a permanent basis, which meant Imani’s time with them needed to come to an end soon.

Stepping into the doorway of the closet-sized bedroom with one tiny bed, a chair and a dresser, Talaya spotted the child curled in a fetal position with her back facing the door. Two months ago, she’d turned eight. She’d gotten taller in the last few months, so that the top of her head now came just about to Talaya’s waist. Her Ghanaian parents had been killed in a car bombing two years ago. She was a beautiful little girl with a chestnut skin tone, dimples in both cheeks, a huge smile and infectious laugh. And Talaya’s heart ached each time she saw her.

In another life, she would’ve wanted a little girl just like this one. She would’ve wanted more than one child, because she’d hated being an only child. Talaya would’ve also wanted a husband, a big house, a dog, maybe a goldfish—because cats were out of the question—a pool in the backyard, summer cookouts or weekends at the beach the way she used to have with her Lowcountry family. At one time that whole scenario had played out in her dreams. But that was before the nightmares came, before the darkness that was her father and his crimes had overshadowed everything that was light and good in her youthful mind.

Now, though, she wondered. There’d been this stirring in her in the past couple of weeks, right around the time those nightmares had reappeared. A feeling that she’d thought she buried long ago, but now…

Imani stirred, turning over so that Talaya could see her adorable little face. She loved cheeseburgers but hated onions and ketchup. Her favorite color was purple, which was also Talaya’s favorite color. She loved to sing, just like Talaya had, and coincidentally, or not, neither of them could really carry a tune. She’d lost both her front teeth last month and they’d just started to grow back. Imani wanted her ears pierced but Moriah thought that was a decision she should make as an adult. Talaya had gotten her ears pierced when she was six. If she had a daughter, she would allow her to get her ears pierced whenever she asked.

But she didn’t have a daughter.

She would never have a daughter thanks to the procedure she had done. The procedure she had needed to have done to save her sanity at the time. Thinking that she could possibly bring a child into this world who would share the DNA with a psychopathic killer had scared her speechless. There was no way she could do it and so she’d made sure that she never would.

And now, she longed…she craved…she wanted in a way she never thought she would. And still, she couldn’t have it.

She couldn’t take Imani and bring her into a world as unstable as hers still was. People slamming into their vehicle on purpose, them not even knowing the motive behind the assault, Talaya waking up in the middle of the night screaming in fear, taking pills every day for the rest of her life, her and Ridge being in therapy. It was all too much. No judge would ever award them custody of a child, they would never trust them to raise someone to become a responsible human being.

Tears pricked her eyes at the thought and she leaned her head against the doorjamb as her chest filled with sorrow.