I had a lot of help putting this book together. It takes a village not only to raise a child, but also to write a book! My beloved clients, you are the ultimate teachers. I also want to express a giant thank-you to everyone who agreed to be interviewed: Laura, for your infinite wisdom on bodies; Laurie, for holding my confidence when I can’t; Bianca, for everything you have taught me about birth (and life!); Brittany-Lyne, for being the most compassionate midwife I know; Stephanie, for changing everything I thought I knew about infant sleep; Summer, for giving me permission to stay fat; Tynan, for opening my eyes to the complexities of postpartum intimacy; Alana, for helping me solidify my personal narrative about alcohol; and Gabrielle, for deepening my understanding about what it means to provide support that lands.
I also want to offer sincere gratitude for the people who helped me figure out how to get my thoughts onto paper. Caroline, this project would still be an idea in my head without your brilliant editorial eye and thorough feedback. Victoria, your editing pushed this project forward and masterfully found a way to develop all the underdeveloped ideas. And Jess, your editing transformed my academic rhetoric into something that people can read!
This book would not exist without Dayna’s kind “you should write a book!” encouragement, so thank you for that! Mindy, your hilarious validation kept me grounded in the early years of parenting, and I couldn’t have made it through without you. Natalie, huge portions of this book feel like a documented version of our shoptalk. I can’t express how much I owe to you for your thoughtful critique and for helping me become a better social worker.
Finally, thank you to Janna and the kids, who graciously let me tell our family’s stories. And for allowing me to escape family and household responsibilities so I could write. And for being my family. I like you all so much.
* * *
I mentioned a lot of people and ideas in this book, but this is only the tip of the iceberg! I bet you want to learn more, and I want to make that easy for you. Please check out these resources for lots of great information.
Laurie Sanci, yourbestlifewithoutkids.com
bebo mia, bebomia.com
Natalie Grynpas, gardenavenuetherapy.com
Trystan Reese and Biff Chaplow, biffandi.com
Stephanie Kishimoto, sleep-parenting.com
Joeyband, joeyband.com
Yoga: For information about practising yoga within the context of cultural appropriation, read the article “Yoga and the Roots of Cultural Appropriation” by Shreena Gandhi and Lillie Wolff, kzoo.edu/praxis/yoga
“Why I Want a Wife,” by Judy Brady Syfers: wsfcs.k12.nc.us/cms/lib/NC01001395/Centricity/Domain/10659/I%20Want%20a%20Wife.pdf
Tynan Rhea, tynanrhea.com
Julie and John Gottman, gottman.com
Victoria Millious, ca.linkedin.com/in/victorianivamillious
Brittany-Lyne Carriere, facebook.com/QueerBirthToronto
Summer Innanen, summerinnanen.com
Virgie Tovar, virgietovar.com
“The Operational Guidance on Infant Feeding in Emergencies,” ennonline.net/operationalguidance-v3-2017
Elisabeth Schüssler Fiorenza, hds.harvard.edu/people/elisabeth-schüssler-fiorenza
Postpartum Support Toronto, postpartumsupporttoronto.com
Tara Brach, tarabrach.com
Kristin Neff, self-compassion.org
Kelly McGonigal, kellymcgonigal.com
Dan Siegel, drdansiegel.com
Alana Nugent, ca.linkedin.com/in/alana-nugent-4b274aa8
Gabrielle Griffith, facebook.com/yourqueerdoula