Chapter Fourteen

Lucinda

Yes, I was still mad. Mad as hell. What if Aldris had walked in our house and saw me hugged up with Raul? Exactly. He thought I should let it go just because he explained that there was nothing going on between them. He was such a genius. I knew that much. I was not stupid, but I damn sure wasn’t blind either. Jennifer still loved Aldris, and even though he hurt her, knowing how good of a man he was, she’d take him back in a New York minute. Especially since she had so-called first dibs on him, and her ex-husband left her for his ex. What loyalty did she owe to me? None. Like she so eloquently put it before the paternity test, she didn’t know I existed.

But I can’t get Aldris to see that. I swear men have tunnel vision. Well, damn it, I saw the big picture, and the writing was on the wall in big, bold letters. Jennifer wasn’t going to play me for the okey-doke, and neither was Aldris. If I let that shit slide one time, it was going to keep sliding until Jennifer managed to slide my man right out the door with her. I might have been younger than both of them, but I wasn’t born at night, and it damn sure wasn’t last night. Life had made me wise, and I wasn’t going to let anybody make a fool of me.

Sitting at home, chilling with my cup of hot cocoa and studying up for my test, I’d opted not to go to Sunday morning service with Aldris since we still weren’t gellin’. Sure, it had been three days since that little incident, but Aldris just didn’t seem all too sincere with his apologies, if I could call them that. It was more like he was apologizing because it was the right thing to do and not because he truly meant it or saw something wrong with what he did. I wasn’t the one to accept half-ass apologies, especially not from men.

I’d put up with way too much bullshit from Emilio Rojas and Raul Garcia to allow room for anybody else’s half-ass anything. And I didn’t feel like sitting up in church, trying to praise the Lord, while I was full of nothing but pure hell. I mean really, how could I sing, “He Saw the Best in Me” while the worst in me was ready to kick some ass? Exactly.

“Hey,” Aldris said quietly as he came in the house from church.

“Hey,” I replied and drank my hot cocoa.

Aldris walked over to the breakfast table where I was studying and just looked at me for a moment as he jiggled his car keys in his hand. Then, he bent down to kiss me, and I turned my face, only giving him access to my cheek. He pulled off his suit jacket and sat down across from me.

“So, are you studying for a test?” he asked, sitting back and staring at me as if that was supposed to make me stop.

“I’m trying to.” I flipped a page aggressively, showcasing my irritation.

Aldris pointed to himself. “So, I guess I’m disturbing you, huh?”

I continued to look in my book.

He sat back, releasing a slow and deliberate breath. Then, he tapped on the table, looking at me as if he was contemplating what to say to me next. “Church service was good. The pastor and a few members asked about you.”

“Uh-huh.” Was he not going to get the hint that I had nothing to say to him?

“The message was great. Do you want to know what the sermon title was?”

My harsh expression flashed as I tossed a heated glare his direction. “What, Aldris?”

“Pardon my past.”

He honestly looked at me as if I was supposed to take what he had just said to heart. Not so subtle of a hint now, was it? He was on my nerves, and if he thought this was in his past, he was sadly mistaken.

“Sometimes you can’t just pardon the past,” I said snidely.

He threw his hands up. “Are we still on this?”

“When did we get off of it?”

Aldris stood up and paced. “Lu, I’ve apologized for my actions. What more do you want? My blood?”

That was it. I jumped up and threw my hands on my hips. Attitude on go. “Your way of apologizing was saying, ‘Lu, it wasn’t like that. It was nothing, just a friendly gesture. Come on. You know me.’ I don’t remember an honest ‘I’m sorry’ coming out of your mouth.”

Aldris shook his head in disbelief. “I can’t believe you are acting like this. I mean really, Lucinda.”

Now I was offended. Was he trying to say I was being childish? “Okay, so now I’m being petty. Is that what you’re saying?”

Exasperated, he threw his hands up. “Well, if the shoe fits.”

I wished I had on some shoes right then. I would’ve fit them right up his ass. “Okay, so if you ever in your life walk up on Raul and I being all hugged up close and personal, I don’t wanna hear a damn word about it. Just remember that, Aldris! Turnabout is always fair play, papi.”

“So what, you’re going to do some intentional shit?” he asked, his expression getting angrier by the second.

I shrugged. “Why should it matter to you?” I asked just to be a bitch about it.

He looked at me as if I were crazy. “It fucking matters because you’re my fiancée.”

“Exactly! And you’re mine! So why the fuck should I just ‘be cool’ with what happened? Why must I brush it off and let it ride as if it was nothing? It may have been nothing, but damn, it hurt my feelings, Aldris, and that should mean something to you,” I yelled, my voice quivering, full of emotion.

I hated the fact that he’d gotten me this upset. When it came to my emotions, I was an introvert. I never wanted anyone to see me sweat, and I damn sure didn’t like for them to see me cry. Showing that I was upset or angry didn’t bother me, but showing my vulnerability bothered the shit out of me. Even though I loved and trusted Aldris, he’d only seen me vulnerable once, when his boys popped up at his mom’s house and told her about Spanish Fly, my on-stage stripper persona when I used to dance in Pooch’s strip club, Moet. I didn’t even shed a tear when he proposed—well, at least not in front of him, and that was definitely a hard feat. Seeing as how he was the source of my emotions now ensured I didn’t want to showcase them, especially not in front of him. I cursed myself for being so damn weak for this man.

Aldris knew immediately that I was extremely upset, and he instantly walked up and reached for me. “Come here, baby,” he said, attempting to hug me.

I waved him off. “No, just give me a minute.” I turned my face, trying to suppress the tears that threatened to fall.

He turned me to face him and hugged me anyway. “It’s okay to be vulnerable in front of me, Lu. We’re getting married, so we’re entitled to share those emotions that we’d rather not show anyone else.”

With that, I hugged him back and let a few tears fall. The truth of the matter was I didn’t want to lose Aldris. For the first time in my life, I was truly in love. The thought of that love being threatened was enough to break me down. Damn, I never knew love like this before.

He held me tight. “I’m so sorry, Lucinda. You’re right. I was wrong for what I did, but I promise you I wasn’t trying to do you dirty. I would never do that to you. I love you, mami.”

“I just don’t want to lose you, Aldris,” I confessed.

“Baby, you’ve got me. I’m not going anywhere.” He kissed my forehead.

He tilted my chin upward, and the sincerity in his eyes shone just brightly as his love for me, and we began to kiss passionately. There was nothing that ended an argument better than make-up sex, and I was prepared to give him some of this Spanish Fly booty until my cell phone rang.

“It’s my phone, Aldris,” I said between kisses.

“Fuck that phone,” he said, kissing me on my neck.

“What if it’s my mom about Nadia?”

He eased up. “Ugh. You’re right.” He relented as I answered.

“Yeah, Mama.”

“Lucinda? Can you come over here, please?” she asked, panicked.

“What’s wrong, Mama?” I asked fearfully. “Nothing is wrong with Nadia, is it?”

“No, no, not Nadia. She’s fine. Your father is over here . . . and Raul. Raul stopped by to see Nadia, and Emilio was here, and it’s a mess,” she yelled frantically.

“Dios mío,” I exclaimed. “I’m on the way!” I hung up.

“What’s wrong?” Aldris asked me for the millionth time.

“My dad and Raul are over my mama’s house,” I said hurriedly.

“Oh, damn,” he said as he grabbed his keys.

I stuck my feet in my tennis shoes, and then we headed out of the house.

“What the fuck is your dad and Raul doing at your mom’s house?” he asked.

“All I know is Raul stopped by to visit Nadia, and my papa was there. Why? I do not know,” I said to Aldris as we hauled ass to my mama’s house.

With all the shit going on with Jennifer and Aldris, I had completely dismissed the whole fiasco brewing between Raul, Maria, and my papa. Of course, when Raul claimed Rosemary and Emilio Jr. as his kids, the paternity test papers went straight to my papa’s house. You wanna talk about furious? Try listening to your “wife” explain that she had been sleeping with your daughter’s baby’s daddy behind your back, and that he was possibly the father of not only your stepdaughter but the baby she just had. My papa was so damn livid he kicked Maria and all the kids out of the house—even Eva, whose paternity wasn’t in question, but with a ho for a housewife, you never knew. As of now, they were staying with Maria’s sister in her three-bedroom apartment.

Now, why the fuck my papa was at my mama’s house—or even Raul, for that matter—was beyond me, but I was about to find out. I wasn’t letting nobody put my child’s life in any type of danger. I didn’t give a damn who they were.

“Papa! Calm down.” I heard my brother, Jose, yelling as Aldris and I ran inside.

I had to take a step back. Jose had Papa pinned down on the sofa, while my sister, Lucy, and my mama struggled to hold Raul. My mama’s living room looked like hurricane season in the tropics. Furniture was overturned, glass was everywhere, and there were scuff marks and holes in the walls.

“Lucinda, thank God,” my mama yelled when she saw us.

Immediately, Aldris ran over and pinned Raul up against the wall.

“Get your fucking hands off of me,” Raul yelled. “I’ma beat your ass first and then that muthafucka over there,” he screamed, nodding his head toward my papa.

“Don’t even set yourself up for failure,” Aldris hissed at him.

“I’m gonna kill his fucking ass. You fucking puto,” my dad screamed.

“Where are the kids?” I asked frantically.

“In the back, in the twins’ room,” my mama answered.

I ran to the back and opened the door. My siblings and Nadia were all back there, crying their eyes out.

“Mama,” Nadia exclaimed and ran up and hugged me tight. “Daddy and Papa are fighting. Why?”

I held her tight. “It’s going to be fine. You’re all gonna be fine. I’m going to get you guys away from here for a little bit, okay?” I said to all of them as they nodded. “Stay right here and do not move, none of you,” I ordered and ran back out.

I grabbed my mama’s van keys. “Lucy!” I yelled out my sister’s name as she ran into the kitchen where I was.

“Yes, Lu,” she said nervously.

“Are you okay to drive?” I asked, looking at her intently.

She nodded and swallowed the lump in her throat. “Yeah, I think . . . I mean . . . yeah.”

“I need for you to get it together, please,” I said calmly, placing my hands on her shoulders to soothe her.

She nodded and sighed. “Okay, yes, I’m good.”

“Good. Take the kids to the park up the road. Make sure you take your cell phone with you. Go now,” I instructed, and she gathered the kids up and left out the back door.

When I walked back in the living room, Aldris had taken Raul to the laundry room, and my papa was still screaming at Jose to let him get to Raul.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” I screamed at my papa. “You coming over here, tearing up Mama’s house and scaring your kids and grandchild. Act like you have some muthafucking sense before I call the police.”

“Lucinda, that’s not even necessary—” my mama began.

Confusion etched across my face. “What the hell is wrong with you? What is not necessary is for you to be standing up here trying to downplay this situation. They are in here endangering everyone around and traumatizing the kids.”

“Don’t talk to your mother like that,” my papa yelled at me.

“You don’t talk to me like that,” I yelled. “We need to talk outside.” I grabbed him by the arm and yanked him out of the door.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” I laid into him as soon as we were outside.

“I was fine until your bastard-ass baby daddy showed up. How dare he show his face around this family with all he’s done to you and me?” my papa exclaimed angrily.

Wait a minute. Was this the same man who had refused to have my back when it came to Raul when I needed it? The same man who left my mama to fend for eight children while giving the world to Maria and her stepdaughter? The same man who worshipped the water my half-sister, Eva, toddled on and the poopie Pampers Emilio Jr. shitted in, yet treated his eight children by Mama—me, included—like crap? Yep, this was the same man.

“You are not even concerned about what Raul did to me or Nadia. Nor are you concerned about him being around this family. Don’t even play those damn cards with me. You’re pissed because the joke’s on you. The ho you were hoeing around with on my mama hoed around on you. That’s why she didn’t want you to bother Raul for me. You got made a fool of, and you know what, Dad? You deserve every fucking bit of it. So, spare me the ‘we are family’ routine. I’m allergic to bullshit.”

“I don’t have to listen to this. You’re always in somebody’s face as if you’re perfect.”

“I never said I was perfect, but don’t get mad because I’m right. That’s your problem. You can’t take the heat. Every time something gets a little difficult, you run. I may have gotten my temper from you, but I’m so glad I took Mama’s everything else because God only knows what type of situation Nadia would be in with two good-for-nothing parents. You made your bed, Papa. Sleep in it. Don’t come around here scaring my brothers and sisters, and hell will freeze over before I let you traumatize Nadia any further,” I said sternly.

He just glared at me and paced back and forth. I knew a part of him wanted to argue, but how could he? I was right.

“Just stay here until I can get Raul away,” I instructed him, and I walked back in the house.

By this time, Aldris had brought Raul back into the living room. “We’ve been having a nice talk about how he’s going to help your mother pay for the damages, which will not interfere with his child support payments,” Aldris said as my mama and Jose glared at Raul.

“Yeah, whatever. I promised your mom I’d help pay. I ain’t worried about child support because as soon as I can add on Rosemary and Emilio, I know it’s getting reduced,” Raul said snidely.

“You are such an asshole. My dad’s wife? How fucking lowdown and nasty are you?” I asked, shaking my head.

“I had Maria first. When you broke up with me, Maria and I started kicking it. She thought this dope dude was gonna marry her, so she left me for him, and he tossed her to the side. She started dating your dad later after that,” Raul confessed. “I just came by to see my fucking daughter—”

“Bullshit, Raul!” I yelled, interrupting him.

“Ay chico, por favor. I have had enough fighting and cussing in my house to last for an eternity. I don’t care what your reason is for coming, Raul, but I need for you to leave,” my mama commanded.

He shrugged. “Fine.” He straightened his clothes and left.

Once Raul was gone, my papa came back in the house, and Aldris, Jose, and he began trying to straighten up what they could of the living room. I wanted to help, but I needed to speak to my mama, so I asked her to talk to me in private.

She walked with me to the kitchen. “Really, can you believe that damn Raul?” she asked as we sat the table, looking at each other.

“Yes, I can. That’s his M.O.” I eyed her closely. “Okay, spill it, Mama. Why is Papa here?”

She exhaled nervously. “I’m helping your father get through this. He’s facing a lot on him—”

I cut her off. “Wait a minute. Are you telling me that Papa is staying . . . here . . . with you?”

“You make it seem so—”

“Madre.”

“Yes,” she confessed with an attitude. “Yes, he is. Your papa needs me, and I’m going to be there for him,” she admitted.

“By letting him stay here? He has a house. Why isn’t he there? He kicked Maria out,” I questioned my mama with a scowl.

“He says the house reminds him of Maria, and he can’t handle that right now. He’s just trying to find his way, Lucinda. He needs someone he can trust and depend on. I know you and your siblings don’t like it, and you all refuse to be there for him so right now, I’m all he’s got,” she said with a sense of finality to the discussion.

It didn’t matter, though, because I couldn’t say a word. Not one single word. I was too shocked and appalled to say anything. I may have loved Aldris, but I wasn’t stupid. If he ever treated me how my papa treated my mama, he had better not ever ask me to help him with nothing. I knew that my mama still loved my papa, but was there that much love in the world? I guess so . . . for her.