Chapter Twenty-four

Trinity

Okay, so I went a little overboard with the comment about Big Cal. I was just so fucking pissed with Terrence about this whole Pooch shit. I was tired of him being caught up in this mess with his cousins. Wasn’t he the one who always said he had me and not to worry about Pooch? If he kept fooling around with Tot, he was going to have to work overtime to protect us because Pooch and his goons were gonna find us. That was for damn sure.

Terrence had really put his hands on me. In addition, I was still struggling with the fact that I tried to shake it off because, in a way, I felt responsible for his reaction. I knew Terrence was jealous, and what I said about Big Cal and wearing that skimpy outfit was just my little payback to him for getting involved with this Pooch shit again, but I realized that what I did was extremely insensitive and dangerous.

I know what Charice and I discussed, but Terrence’s insistence to continue this plan coupled with him putting his hands on me angered me more with each passing day, especially with the physical part. I’d made my stance on that known because I hadn’t said another word to Terrence since the day Tot and Big Cal left. I was so furious with Terrence that I’d resorted to avoiding him altogether. This was made possible because I’d slept in the guest bedroom for the past two nights. I wanted Terrence to understand that hitting me was not ever going to be a part of his solution. I’d rather grow old alone than to be with another man who was going to use his “manly power” to break me down.

This night made night three, and I had no intention of interacting with Terrence. He needed to remember how it felt to be without me. As I slipped on my silk nightgown and put my hair up in a ponytail to get ready for bed, there was a knock at my bedroom door.

“Come in,” I called out assuming it was one of the kids.

“I can’t believe you let me in this time,” Terrence said, entering the room and shutting the door. “I won’t take long. I just wanted to give you the news.”

Damn. Had I known it was him, I wouldn’t have. “Actually, I thought you were one of the kids.” I turned to face him, leaning on the dresser. “What’s up?”

He put his hands in his pants pockets and cleared his throat. “I just thought you’d like to know that the presiding judge over Pooch’s case took the bait. He just got a hundred-thousand-dollar bonus in unmarked bills. Pooch’s plea bargain is a wrap.”

“So, it’s done?”

“Should be.” He nodded.

“Good for you.” I turned around and brushed my ponytail, uninterested in further conversation. Sure, I was relieved Pooch was still locked up, but we still had unresolved issues. While I appreciated the news, I felt that he’d addressed the Pooch situation without addressing our situation.

Frustrated, he let a deep sigh. “Come on, baby. I did this for us.”

“I know,” I said with a slight attitude.

“Li’l mama, part of me taking care of you means that I have to make sure that Pooch never gets out. Do you think I really want to stay involved in this foolishness?”

I turned to face him again and shrugged. “I don’t know, Terrence.”

He walked up to me, and I backed up. He stopped in mid-stride and frowned. “Why are you backing away from me?”

It was a defense mechanism. Ever since Pooch attacked me, I didn’t take too kindly to men walking up on me. Normally, I wouldn’t have reacted to Terrence walking up on me, but after the incident the other day, my senses were heightened all over again.

He rubbed his forehead. “Do you think I’m gonna hurt you? Come on, baby. I would never hurt you. What happened in the kitchen . . . that was a freak reaction. I’m so sorry for that.” He pleaded, “Can’t you forgive me?”

Tears overcame me as I listened to Terrence’s plea. I could see the hurt reflected in his eyes, and it matched mine. “Terrence, it’s not that I don’t forgive you. I know you didn’t mean it, and honestly, I feel partially responsible for the way you reacted, but you have to understand I can’t go through that again. Not with you or Pooch or anybody else.”

Terrence’s expression looked as if I’d hurt him to his core. He walked up on me, slowly embracing me as I allowed him to hug me tight. I cried into his chest. His wifebeater was soaked as I wrapped my arms around his waist and released all my emotions.

“Don’t you know I’d never hurt you? I love you, Trinity. Seriously, I would never put you through the shit that Pooch put you through. I rescued you from that. Why would I put you back through it?” he declared, stroking my hair.

“Deep down, I believe that, but I’m scared, Dreads. I’m scared to go back to the way I was before, and I’m scared because you keep staying involved with crap that involves Pooch. I don’t want anything to happen to any of us. I don’t want to live my life without you, Dreads.”

Dreads lifted my chin and stared into my eyes. “Aww, li’l mama. Listen to me. On the real, don’t even talk like that. If there’s one thing you’ll never have to do, it is live without me. Ain’t no way I’m letting that happen, so don’t worry about that at all. I did this so that we don’t have to worry about Pooch no more. Now we don’t, so we can focus on our kids and us.” He cradled my face. “Starting with you moving back into our bedroom. Will you please come back?”

He wiped the tears from my eyes, and I allowed his words to sink in before I nodded my agreement. “Yes, I can do that. I’ve missed you.”

He smiled and kissed my forehead, my nose, and my lips. “I’ve missed you too, li’l mama,” he said as I jumped back and looked down. He laughed. “Yeah, we’ve both missed you.”

Giggling, I wrapped my arms around his neck. “Well, I guess I’ll have to take care of that, huh?”

He pulled me close to him, wrapping his arms around my waist. “Yes, you have to put in some overtime because this is an all-night job.”

“I can handle that,” I whispered sexily as I leaned in and kissed him.

Suddenly, he gently pushed me back and leaned his forehead against mine. “Wait.”

“Why? What?”

He looked at me intently for a few moments as he held me close. Then, he sighed and sucked his teeth. “I have to ask about you and Big Cal.”

“Baby, please. Okay, I was wrong for saying what I said. In fact, it was downright fucked up. I know it. But I only said that to push your buttons. I didn’t mean anything behind it, and I am very sorry.”

His eyes closed as he soaked up my apology. “Yeah, I get that, and I appreciate it. Looking back, I realize you only said it out of anger, but that’s not what bothers me.”

I furrowed my brow. What was he referring to? “So, if it’s not that, then what is it?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. Your—closeness. Big Cal reacts to you as if . . . like . . . I don’t know, like he wants you for himself, and sometimes it just seems like . . . you know . . . you don’t mind.”

“What? Are you serious, baby? You can be so jealous—”

He put his index finger to my lips. “It’s not jealousy. Okay, some of it is, but I’m not imagining how close you all got when you were with Pooch. I’m not seeing double when I see how Princess adores him damn near as much as she adores me. I’m not hearing shit when I notice how often he has to compliment your beauty, and I know I didn’t misread the fact that you have his cell phone number and email address in your phone. So yes, the fact that you two are close bothers me, but what bothers me even more is the fact that I didn’t know it.”

Hearing his take caused me to take a pause and ponder his words. I guess it did look weird to him, but still, he should know that we would never betray him like that. Big Cal and I did get kind of close while I was with Pooch. He was so fucking paranoid over losing me that the only nigga he trusted me around was Big Cal. That was until Big Cal told Pooch I looked good, and Pooch chin-checked him. After that, he wasn’t allowed near me without Pooch being around.

After Pooch was arrested, we exchanged contact information so that I could keep my eye on Pooch. Yeah, we talked on the phone every now and again just to see how each other was doing, and yes, we sent email forwards to each other, but Terrence made it seem like we were secret lovers. Good grief. Aaron and I were cool friends. That was it. Terrence was my husband and Aaron’s cousin.

“Terrence, baby, look. Aaron and I are cool. Yes, we’ve been cool since my days with Pooch because he’d always encourage me that things would be better for me one day. In hindsight, I realize now he was telling me in a roundabout kinda way that you all were getting ready to make your move so I could be done with him. But Aaron and I are only friends.”

He eyed me suspiciously for a few moments. “Are you sure about that?”

Now I was getting heated. I’d already apologized, explained my actions, assured and re-assured him of my feelings, and he still doubted me. That was extremely hurtful. I put my hands on my hips. “Terrence Reginald Kincaid, are you asking me if I’ve cheated on you with your cousin? Is that really where this is going?”

He rubbed his face in frustration. “No. I know you haven’t done that. I’m just asking . . . I mean, nothing happened between you all when you were with Pooch, right?” he asked nervously.

Wow. He actually went there. Sick of the bullshit, I decided to dead this once and for all. “I can’t believe you, but since you want me to spell it out, no, Terrence. I had a hard time cheating on Pooch with you. Do you really think I’d be bold enough to sleep with Aaron too? Really?” I shook my head, annoyed, turning to walk away.

Terrence lightly grabbed me by my waist and pulled me back to him. “Don’t get upset with me, please. I’m only asking. It’s hard for me, Trinity. I spent serious time away from you while I was locked up on account of Pooch, and the only woman I could think of was you. Then, I find out that you are in love with the same nigga who got me locked up. I went through so much hell to get back to you and to be with you, so it bothers me when I see that you are close to another nigga, even if that nigga is my kinfolk.”

As irritated as I was, I couldn’t deny that I understood that. I was just appalled that he’d think something like that. “We’re family, Terrence. No, nothing has ever happened between Aaron and me except friendship. That’s it.”

He exhaled and nodded. “Thank you for clearing that up for me.”

“I’m just shocked that I had to.”

He put his hand over his chest. “I know it may seem small or even shocking to you, but I needed to know this. I had to be sure.”

There was no use arguing over this, so I let it go. I couldn’t change how he felt. I could only let him know that his feelings amounted to nothing but some bullshit he’d imagined.

“Fine. You had to be sure. So, are you better now?” I asked, a little aggravated.

He nodded. “Yes, I am.” He kissed me. “Don’t be mad. Just try to understand where I’m coming from.”

Rather than argue, I agreed. “I understand.”

“Thanks, baby.” He kissed me again. “So, can we have make-up sex?” he asked, all eager like a kid in the candy store.

“As you wish, baby.”

He smiled. “I’m going to let you gather your stuff, and I’m going to our room to run some bath water. We’re going to bathe together, and then we can get down to business.” He rubbed his hands together and ran out.

I smiled, but on the inside, I was upset. Me and Big Cal? Amazing. Simply amazing. My feelings were hurt, but I had to shake it off. Dreads had gone through a lot, just like he told me, but still, how low of a person did he take me for? Wow. The more I pondered that, the more it hurt. It hurt badly.