It wasn’t that she resented her mother, Anna told herself, repeatedly and at great length, over the course of the following two weeks. She was glad to see her looking happy again, happier than she’d looked in years, in fact. Now she wondered if perhaps her mother had been lonely and she’d simply been too busy in the shop to notice. The change in her demeanour was striking. Elizabeth Fortini seemed like a whole new woman, a physically stiffer, but mentally refreshed version of her old self. She visited the Pump Rooms with the Baroness most days, took tea with her every afternoon and had even dined at the Circus on several occasions.
Anna had chosen not to accompany them. Firstly, because she had a business to run. Secondly, because she had a point to prove, even if it was hard to prove anything to a man she hadn’t seen since he’d announced he had ‘better things to do’ and then abandoned her on his grandmother’s doorstep. He hadn’t visited the shop or given her any more lessons since, though as she hadn’t gone back to the mews either she supposed she could hardly blame him for that.
It was as if he’d simply forgotten her existence. Which was exactly what she ought to do in return, Anna thought bitterly, except that her mind seemed to be working against her. Much as she hated to admit it, she already thought about him far too often for comfort. It was bad enough at night when her dreams were haunted by the image of a man with auburn hair and silvery eyes, but every time she sold a big tin or caught a glimpse of a naval uniform outside the shop window she found herself feeling alarmingly nostalgic.
It didn’t help that her mother mentioned him quite so frequently, making it obvious that she was seeing him. Such a kind gentleman, so dashing and thoughtful and polite, and such a hero, too! Had she heard the story of his daring manoeuvre at Trafalgar? And what a bizarre situation to find himself in, especially when he yearned to go back to sea! But surely he’d make a very competent earl if it came to it... Anna listened with every outward appearance of composure, secretly thinking that if she heard the name Captain Samuel Delaney one more time, she would scream.
‘Lady Jarrow intends to throw an evening party next week,’ her mother finally announced one morning in the kitchen.
‘Does she?’ Anna paused in the act of spearing bread on to a toasting fork.
‘Yes.’ There was a telling pause. ‘We’re both invited.’
‘Oh.’
‘She’s rather domineering, I admit, but her heart’s in the right place.’
‘Mmm...’ Anna murmured non-committally. She hadn’t seen the Baroness since that first breakfast when, still shaking with anger over Captain Delaney’s accusations, she’d announced that she’d had enough of horses for ever. To her surprise, instead of delivering a dressing-down, Lady Jarrow had simply told her to come back when she was ready.
‘I’m grateful for all the attention that she’s shown me over the past couple of weeks,’ her mother continued. ‘I’d like to attend.’
‘Then you should.’
‘With you.’
‘Mama...’
‘Just wait a moment.’ Her mother lifted a hand. ‘I know what you think of the aristocracy. You have a lot of ideas about who you are and where you belong. It’s hardly surprising given our family’s circumstances, but I’m afraid you may have become overly prejudiced, my dear.’
Anna lowered the toasting fork slowly. Prejudiced. It was what Captain Delaney had called her before he’d stormed away... She’d resented the accusation then and it still rankled. Not because it wasn’t true, but because nobody, not even her mother, knew the real reasons behind it. As much as she resented the way her parents had been treated by society, she hadn’t always detested the aristocracy, but eight years ago she’d learnt better than to trust them...
‘If I am, then they deserve it.’ She answered stubbornly.
‘Do you forget that I was born Lady Elizabeth Holden?’
‘You’re different. You ran away from all that.’
‘I still loved my family a great deal. It broke my heart to leave them, but I knew it was the only way I could be with your father. I only wish there had been another way. I miss them even now.’
‘Mama, they disowned you!’
‘That doesn’t mean they were happy about it. My father was a proud man. I never expected him to accept or forgive what I did, but I do believe that he loved me, and continued to love me, in his own way. I wanted to go to his funeral, but your Uncle Anthony would have been horrified. They were always very alike.’
Anna lifted the toasting fork again, holding it close to the fireplace. ‘What about my other uncle, your youngest brother?’
‘Tobias? Oh, he was more like our mother. I think he would have forgiven me. With him and her, I think there might still be a chance of reconciliation, even after all these years.’
‘So you want to see them again?’
‘Yes.’ Her mother didn’t hesitate. ‘Yes, I do.’
‘What about Father? If you go back to that life, then it’ll be like he never existed.’
‘Except that I have you and Sebastian and many years of happy marriage to remember him by.’ Her mother’s gaze warmed. ‘It’s not a betrayal of your father to move on. He always felt bad about the rift with my family and if he were still here then I know he’d want me to be happy.’ Her mother’s hand curled around her arm, drawing the fork back before the toast burned. ‘He would have wanted you and Sebastian to be reconciled with my family, as well. He always wanted to give you more in life.’
‘He gave us everything we needed. You both did.’
‘Yes, but there are other ways that my family could help you.’ Her mother smiled hopefully. ‘Come to the evening party with me. Let yourself have some fun. You work too hard.’
‘I don’t know...’
‘Anna.’ Her mother’s voice turned slightly chiding. ‘Sometimes it’s easier to stay in our own little worlds than venture out, but prejudice has a way of shrinking the opportunities around us. If you aren’t careful the person you end up hurting is yourself. Bitterness and resentment aren’t very attractive qualities.’
‘Maybe I like my life the way it is.’
‘You can still like it and come to the party, too. Please, as a favour for me.’
Anna groaned, dropping the piece of toast on to a plate. Doing a favour for her mother was all well and good, but the thought of spending an evening with a group of people she’d spent years resenting gave her the shudders. On the other hand, maybe she had become too prejudiced. Maybe she’d let her feelings about what had happened eight years ago control her to the point that she really had become afraid to leave her ‘own little world’ as her mother called it? Maybe she’d overreacted when Captain Delaney had told her about his grandmother’s plan, even if it hadn’t been for the reasons he’d thought? Maybe that was why she’d refused to forgive him for his behaviour when they’d first met despite his apology, too? And maybe she was holding him accountable for the sins of a man he’d never met and knew nothing about?
The memory of a letter and an innocent walk and an alleyway floated into her mind before she buried it quickly, deep down where it belonged.
‘What would I even wear, Mama?’ She tried a different tack instead. ‘I don’t want to waste money on a gown that I’ll only wear once and, before you say anything, I don’t want the Baroness’s charity.’
‘Neither do I.’
‘So unless I can persuade someone to purchase a year’s supply of biscuits in one go...’
‘You won’t need to. I have some money saved.’
‘Not for a dress, Mama.’
‘Yes, for a dress. We’ll buy some material and make something new.’
‘How? Your hands are too swollen for you to sew and I’m terrible at it.’
‘I’m not.’ Henrietta stuck her head around the doorway that led to the shop. ‘I’m sorry, I wasn’t eavesdropping, but I couldn’t help but overhear. I could make you a dress.’
‘I couldn’t ask you to...’
‘You’re not. I’m offering and I’m good at making clothes. Please let me. I want to make amends.’
‘What for?’ Anna offered her a piece of toast, but Henrietta only looked contrite.
‘For something foolish I did a while ago. I lied to you about it, but I learnt my lesson and I’ll never do it again. I want to make something of myself, just like you.’ She took a deep breath, as if she were summoning her nerve for something. ‘And you know that my brother’s wife is having another baby? Well, it’s getting crowded at their house and I wondered whether you might let me move in here with you? I don’t mean upstairs. I could make a bed up in the kitchen every night so that I’d be here to help you bake in the mornings. If you can forgive me for lying, that is?’
‘Of course I forgive you...’ Anna smiled ‘...but I’m afraid I don’t have any spare money to pay you.’
‘You don’t have to. Just letting me stay would be enough. And I have some new ideas for the shop we could try, like taking a basket out every morning and selling biscuits outside the Pump Rooms or on Pulteney Bridge? Or inventing a new variety and making a big announcement about its arrival?’
‘Well...’ Anna looked from Henrietta to her mother and back again ‘...in that case, what can I say except yes? And no. That is, yes, you can stay here, but, no, you can’t sleep in the kitchen. You can share my room.’
‘Really?’ Henrietta hugged her so enthusiastically that Anna had to drop the toasting fork in order to avoid a painful accident. ‘Thank you. You won’t regret it, I promise.’
‘Of course we won’t.’ Her mother nodded approvingly. ‘And we’ll make the dress together. I’m sure there are still some tasks I can do.’
‘We’ll make the most beautiful dress you’ve ever set eyes on.’ Henrietta clasped her hands together dreamily. ‘It sounds just like a fairy tale. You’re going to a ball.’
‘An evening party, not a ball.’ Anna felt a fresh burst of anxiety at the thought. ‘What if someone recognises me from the shop?’
‘Then you’ll do as I do. Hold your head up high and be proud of who you are.’ Her mother tossed her curls as if to illustrate the point. ‘You’ll say that your name is Miss Annabelle Fortini, owner of a very successful confectionery business.’
‘They might say there’s a bad smell in the air.’
‘If they do, then I shall tell them what I think of them.’ Her mother’s eyes took on a martial gleam. ‘Then I’ll set Lady Jarrow on them, just for fun.’
‘I still don’t know...’ Anna bit down on her bottom lip. She wasn’t ashamed of who she was and she wasn’t really afraid of being insulted, not in the Baroness’s own house, but it all seemed so unbelievable. She was being invited back into society along with her mother. It was the opposite of anything she’d ever expected to happen, but perhaps her mother was right and she was only hurting herself by holding on to the past. Perhaps it was time to move on. And perhaps she wanted to see Captain Delaney again. Perhaps she could trust him, too?
Her heart gave a little leap at the thought.