APPENDIX B
Characteristics of Healthy Relationships
A healthy relationship includes more than feelings of love, passion, affection, and shared likes and dislikes. Engage your teen in a discussion by emphasizing the following characteristics of healthy relationships:
- Both partners give and receive, each getting their way some of the time and compromising some of the time.
- They respect each other, value one another’s opinions, and accept each other for who they are. They don’t feel pressured to do things they are not comfortable with, such as drinking, using drugs, or having unwanted physical contact.
- They support and encourage one another’s goals and ambitions and want what is best for each of them. They encourage each other to have friends and activities outside the relationship.
- They trust one another, and learn not to inflict jealous and restrictive feelings on the other if these feelings should arise.
- Neither is afraid of the other. They feel emotionally safe; for example, they feel comfortable being themselves without fear of being put down. When one of them is upset, they feel safe enough to talk things out in a respectful manner. They feel physically safe; they are not afraid of being hurt or pressured into unwanted physical or sexual contact.
- They communicate openly and honestly and make their partners feel safe in expressing themselves. They listen to each other and talk face-to-face (not just text) about their feelings.
- They share responsibility in decision making. They have an equal say in choosing activities and friends.
- They accept the differences between them. They can be themselves and have their own individuality, without pretending to like something they don’t like or be someone they are not.
- They respect each other’s boundaries. If one says “no” or “stop,” the other listens. This applies to sex as well as other activities. When they are together, they feel connected, not controlled.
- They are each responsible and accountable for their own behavior and don’t blame others to justify their bad behavior. They accept the consequences of their actions and try to repair them.
- They express appreciation of one another to one another.
- Although they may be sad or even broken-hearted if the relationship ends, they know they will essentially be okay, and they aren’t fearful about the relationship ending.