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There are plenty of times in life when you will want to say, “I’m sorry.” When we make mistakes, it is best to go ahead and admit them. You may need to say, “I’m sorry I hurt your feelings,” “I’m sorry I left my pocket knife on the couch and you sat on it,” “I’m sorry I used the last of the toilet paper and forgot to put in a new roll,” or even “I’m sorry I spit in the air and the wind caught it and it hit you in the face.”
You probably can make your own list of times when you will need to say, “I’m sorry”—because everybody makes mistakes and does stupid things. A gentleman tries to make as few mistakes as possible, and if you are lucky, as you get older, you won’t make mistakes quite so often. If you try not to make the same mistakes twice, you will be relieved that you don’t have to say, “I’m sorry,” again and again. Better yet, people will accept your apologies and forgive you for having screwed up.
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YOU DO
Say, “I’m sorry,” and mean it.
YOU DON’T
Say, “I’m sorry,” if you don’t really mean it or if you’re just trying to get somebody off your back. People are smarter than you think; they know a phony apology when they hear one.
Why
Being a good guy means that you admit it when you do things that hurt or inconvenience other people.
YOU DO
Say more than “I’m sorry” if the occasion calls for it. For example, if you throw a baseball and smash the neighbor’s window, you say, “I’m sorry I broke your window. I’ll make sure it gets replaced.” If you can’t afford to pay for something you have broken, you can offer to work out an arrangement that will allow you to correct your mistake. Maybe you can work out a deal with your parents so that they will give you an advance on your allowance, or maybe they will let you do some extra work around the house to earn the money you need.
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YOU DON’T
Assume that saying “I’m sorry” always gets you off the hook.
Why
A gentleman knows that sometimes a few words are not enough to fix a mistake. Part of growing up is learning what you really need to do when you’ve damaged somebody’s property or hurt another person’s feelings.
A gentleman, who has offended another person, says, “I’m sorry.”
A gentleman does his best not to offend anyone on purpose, but if he realizes that he has offended another person because he didn’t think before he spoke or acted, he immediately apologizes.
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A gentleman knows that saying “I’m sorry” will not mean much if he does not try to do better. You can only get away with forgetting to feed the dog so many times before your parents, and the dog, start growling at you.