15
Let’s say a friend’s dog has chewed up a comic book you let your friend borrow. The friend says, “I’m sorry.” You might respond in one of two ways. You might say, “That’s Okay. Stuff like that happens.” Or you might say, “You idiot. Why did you leave my comic book lying around where your dumb dog could eat it?”
Sometimes, it’s hard to say, “I accept your apology.” But most of the time it is the right thing to do. Because you want to do the gentlemanly thing, you try to put yourself in your friend’s place. If it had been your dog that destroyed your friend’s property, you would feel miserable. You would hope that your friend would give you a break, so you try to cut him some slack as well.
If your brother forgets to replace the toilet paper roll after he has used the last of it and he says, “My bad. I’m sorry,” you accept the apology. Similarly, if the server in a restaurant brings you a sandwich you didn’t order, and he says, “I’m sorry. Let me make that right,” you accept the apology. After all, that’s what you’d want them to do for you.
YOU DO
Forgive someone when he or she says, “I’m sorry.” Then you move along, as if the mistake never happened.
YOU DON’T
Let yourself be taken advantage of. If your friend’s dog chews up your comic book every time you loan him one, you may still accept his apology—but you don’t have to loan him any more comic books.
Why
Being a gentleman does not mean you have to let people treat you badly. Sometimes, if someone does the same inconsiderate things or hurts your feelings over and over again, you may want to keep your distance from them.
17
YOU DO
Say, “That’s Okay,” when someone apologizes.
YOU DON’T
Say, “That’s Okay, just don’t let it happen again,” or “That’s Okay, but try not to be so stupid next time.”
Why
It’s not fair to pretend to accept a person’s apology and still try to make that person feel rotten. When you accept an apology, it’s best to use as few words as possible—especially if, deep inside, you’re still feeling angry or upset.
A gentleman knows how to forgive and forget.
A gentleman does not keep reminding his friends about their past mistakes. If he finds that he is getting tired of the same old problems occurring, he might want to think about getting new friends.