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Chapter 10

ACCEPTING A COMPLIMENT

Do you know one of the biggest mistakes adults make? No, it’s not their haircuts or the music they listen to. Or wearing black socks with shorts and sneakers—although that is pretty hard to forgive.

One of the biggest mistakes most adults make is that they don’t know how to accept a simple compliment.

When somebody says something nice, some people don’t know that the right thing to do is to say a simple “Thank you.” Maybe they think they are acting humble. But they are wrong. They are actually being rude.

Here are three compliments and the right—and wrong—way to respond to them:

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YOU DO

Say, “Thank you,” when someone says, “That is a great shirt.”

YOU DON’T

Say, “I hate it. I am only wearing it because my Aunt Molly bought it for me and she’s here for the weekend.”

Why

By saying you hate the shirt, you have insulted the taste of the person who paid you the compliment.

YOU DO

Say, “Thank you,” when someone says, “I like your haircut.”

YOU DON’T

Say, “My dad made me get it cut. I hate it this short.”

Why

It is rude to disagree with someone who is trying to say something nice about you.

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YOU DO

Say, “Thank you, I really worked hard,” when someone says, “You did a great job at your bar mitzvah.”

YOU DON’T

Say, “You must not have been listening when I messed up.”

Why

When a person tells you that you have done a good job, it is rude to suggest that the person does not know what he or she is talking about. Even if you know, deep down, that there were moments when you messed up, you don’t need to point them out. A simple “Thank you” is all you need to say.

If you see a pattern forming here, you are right. Whenever somebody pays you a compliment, “Thank you” is always the right thing to say.

A gentleman knows that accepting a compliment graciously is just as important as giving a compliment. He knows how to do both.