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Chapter 12

LISTENING TO AND TALKING TO ADULTS

You are going to have to talk to adults—whether they’re your teachers, your parents, your coaches, or the people who run the cash registers at the grocery store. There’s no way you can avoid it. But if you’re going to have to talk to them, you will need to learn to listen to them, too. Nothing makes adults angrier than trying to talk to a young guy who is so caught up with his video game or his iPod that they can’t even get his attention. (Well, actually one thing does make them angrier: a young guy who responds to every question by saying, “Huh?” or “What?” or “Nope.”)

A gentleman knows if he actually has time for a full-scale conversation. If he is on a deadline for a paper that is due the next day, it’s Okay for him to say, “Can we talk about this later? I’m way behind on this paper.” Watching the same movie for the seventeenth time in a row is not a good excuse for ignoring your grandmother. A gentleman turns off the television and talks to his grandma.

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Adults aren’t always trying to give you orders and make your life harder. Sometimes they’re trying to do something nice for you or offer you some help. That’s why it’s important to learn to listen.

YOU DO

Remove your earbuds, turn down the television, or take a break from your video game when an adult wants to talk to you.

YOU DON’T

Say, “I’m busy now” or “Can’t you see I’m busy?” or “I’ll get back to you when I’m done.”

Why

It’s important for you to learn to use the pause button. No matter how busy you think you are, you can always take a break from what you are doing to pay attention to another real live human being. They may need to tell you something important, or they may need to ask you a serious question. Even if what they want to talk about doesn’t seem important to you, you can simply say, “Can we talk a little later?” That way, you’re showing the adult the same respect you’d like the adult to show you.

YOU DO

Try to take the time to have a real conversation with the adults in your life. Having a real conversation means answering questions, asking questions, and trying to speak in full sentences.

YOU DON’T

Use words like “Yeah,” “Nope,” “What?” and “Huh?” when you’re having a conversation with an adult.

Why

At some point you are going to be really glad you got to spend time with the adults in your life, and you will cherish that time. You’ll be glad you got to know your parents and grandparents and the other adults who care about you. The only real way you are going to be able to get to know each other is by learning to talk and listen.

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A gentleman looks adults in the eye when he is talking to them.

A gentleman doesn’t try to carry on a conversation while he is staring at a television set or a computer screen.