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Chapter 15

ACCEPTING A GIFT YOU DON’T LIKE

Underwear

Classical music

Arts and crafts projects

Really thick books

Really thick books about history

Ugly sweaters

Ugly sweaters with snowmen on them

Maybe you can look at this list and say, “I’d love that.” Then, good for you. There is nothing wrong with getting a snowman sweater or a thick book or even underwear as a gift if that is something you really want or need. But it may not be what you want to find when you open a package on your birthday or at Christmas or Hanukkah. At those times it is important to remember that it is not what is inside the package that matters. What matters is that someone took the time to do something he or she thought was nice for you. That’s why it’s important to know how to react to that thick book or snowman sweater.

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YOU DO

Say, “Thank you,” for any gift you receive.

YOU DON’T

Claim to be truly excited by a gift that is not what you wanted. (Saying, “Thank you,” is enough. Just make sure you don’t roll your eyes and groan and say, “What made you think I wanted an old book about history?”)

Why

All you need to do is acknowledge that somebody has been kind to you. Simply saying, “Thank you,” and following up with a thank-you note (see page) is all you are expected to do.

YOU DO

Accept someone’s gift gratefully, even if it isn’t something you wanted.

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YOU DON’T

Ask where the gift came from, so that you can take it back and get something you really want.

Why

Simply asking that question makes it clear that you don’t like the gift, and that would hurt somebody’s feelings, which would be rude. A gentleman is never rude—at least, not on purpose.

A gentleman does not measure the worth of a gift by how much it cost.

A gentleman says, “Thank you,” for every gift he receives, whether it is something he loves or something he hates.

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If a gentleman receives a gift he already has, he does not say, “Gee. I’ve already got one of these.” Instead, he simply says “Thank you”—and means it.

A gentleman never says, “You shouldn’t have,” when someone presents him with a gift.