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Chapter 32

REFUSING FOODS YOU CAN’T EAT

There are perfectly good reasons why some people can’t eat certain foods. A lot of people have allergic reactions to foods such as shellfish, nuts, or even dairy products. The reactions might make them sick. And some reactions can even be fatal. Some people also decline to eat certain foods because it is against their religious beliefs.

If you are one of these people, you probably already know it, and your parents probably keep close watch on the food that is served in your house or the food that is ordered when your family goes to a restaurant. But your parents are not with you every time you sit down at the table. When you’re visiting a friend’s home, having dinner with your soccer team after practice, or even eating at the school cafeteria, you may sometimes be offered foods that you simply cannot, or do not, eat.

The situation can sometimes be a little awkward. For example, when you’re at your best friend’s house for dinner, you may discover that his mother is serving barbecued shrimp—and you are allergic to shellfish. You don’t want to insult your friend’s mother, but you don’t want to spend the night in the emergency room, either.

It would be wrong for you to risk your health to avoid hurting someone’s feelings. So your only option is to tell your friend’s mom, as nicely as possible, that you cannot eat shrimp because you have a food allergy or because your family does not eat shrimp. There is no reason to give any more details.

You may be able to avoid this situation, however, by letting your friend know in advance that there are things you cannot eat.

YOU DO

Tell your buddy, when he invites you over for dinner, that you can’t eat fish or peanuts or cheese—whatever it is that you cannot eat. It might even be a good idea for your mom or dad to call your friend’s parents beforehand, so they can discuss your dietary restrictions.

YOU DON’T

Wait until you sit down at the table at your friend’s house to announce that there are foods you cannot eat.

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Why

Your friend’s family wants you to have a good time and enjoy your meal. If they haven’t been made aware of your dietary restrictions, they will be disappointed, and you may end up going home hungry.

YOU DO

Say, “I’m afraid I’m allergic to shellfish, but these potatoes and green beans look great.”

YOU DON’T

Expect your friend’s parents to go back to the kitchen and prepare a separate meal for you. They aren’t running a restaurant, after all.

Why

A gentleman would never keep the rest of the family from proceeding with their dinner. Just for once, it won’t hurt you to ask for a second helping of green beans.

A gentleman never gives in to peer pressure to try something that he knows he couldn’t or shouldn’t eat.