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Chapter 37
A GENTLEMAN GOES ONLINE
You are lucky. You are part of the first generation of people who have known about computers ever since they were born. When your parents were kids, computers were monster machines that sometimes took up an entire room. For your grandparents, computers were science fiction; but you probably use them every day—either to do your homework or to have fun. Because you’ve been around computers all your life, you may take them for granted. But when you take them for granted, you run the risk of abusing or misusing one of the greatest inventions of all time.
You may already be at a time in your life where you spend a lot of time online. It could be playing games, listening to music, doing research for your homework, or visiting the Web site or blog for your favorite athlete. But as you get older, you will probably spend even more time online on things like social networks, sending and receiving e-mails, and managing your schedule. Just remember this: You are not an anonymous guy sitting behind a computer screen. Treat your online life just like you do your real in-person life. Treat others with respect, be courteous, and do not give out too much information.
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YOU DO
Follow the rules your parents or your teachers set for computer use.
YOU DON’T
Give out personal information on your computer to people you don’t know. If you give out information to strangers, you may be putting yourself or your family at risk.
Why
You really don’t know the person you might be talking to in a chat room or on a message board. The Internet is a great way to meet new people, but you must be cautious. Respect the boundaries your parents set for your computer use—and use common sense.
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YOU DO
Use your head and remember your manners when you are sending e-mails or instant messages or postings on Web sites.
YOU DON’T
Send any dirty or questionable e-mails or instant messages to anyone. Although you might think a dirty joke is funny, your friends—or, more important, their parents—might not want that sort of communication coming into their home.
Why
You don’t want to be known as “The Boy Who Sends Dirty E-mails.” And you definitely do not want your own parents getting angry calls from your friends’ parents. After that type of phone call, you could find yourself grounded, with all your computer privileges revoked.
YOU DO
Know that there are times when a phone call or an in-person conversation is better than an e-mail.
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YOU DON’T
Hide behind an e-mail when you have to say something difficult.
Why
A gentleman is never cowardly. It may be uncomfortable to tell a girl face-to-face that you can’t take her to a dance, but it would be unkind simply to send her an e-mail saying “Sorry. I can’t take you to the dance.” Even if you don’t like her very much and you figure the dance will be boring, you do not want to hurt her feelings. It’s part of your job as a gentleman to treat other people with respect and help them feel better about themselves. People will appreciate it when you make that effort in person.
YOU DO
Use your head when it comes to responding to e-mails from people you don’t know. (It may be a good idea not to respond to them at all.)
YOU DON’T
Ever share private information such as your social security number, your birthdate, your banking information, or your home address with anyone online without your parents’ permission.
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Why
There are people out there who will use your information in ways that can lead to big trouble. You might think that answering an e-mail to get a free iPad is a great idea. Always remember that whenever you see something that seems too good to be true—especially if you see it online—it usually is. Use your head, so you don’t fall for these sorts of tricks.
YOU DO
Pay for the music and movies you download.
YOU DON’T
Try to steal movies and music without paying.
Why
Does anybody need to tell you why stealing is wrong? But even if that weren’t enough, this kind of theft could get your parents sued for a lot of money—and cause you to lose all your Internet privileges.
YOU DO
Use the Internet to learn things that can help you with your homework.
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YOU DON’T
Copy things from an online source and try to pass them off as your own work.
Why
There is a big word for this kind of stealing. That word is “plagiarism,” and it could mean earning an “F” if you get caught. (And you probably will get caught.) It could also get you kicked out of school for an honor violation. It is fine to use a reliable online source for research. Just make sure to take what you have learned and put it into your own words.
YOU DO
Respond in some way to friend requests on Facebook.
YOU DON’T
Have to accept every friend request you receive.
Why
You don’t have to accept friend requests from people you hardly know or don’t even know at all. All you have to do is hit the “ignore” or “delete” buttons.
YOU DO
Know there is a difference between sending a private message and posting a message on a wall.
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YOU DON’T
Post information on a wall that you don’t want a lot of other people to see.
Why
Just as you don’t go around broadcasting everything you say to everyone you meet, there are probably private things you want to say online. Always make sure you are sending your message to the people you want to receive it—and to nobody else.
YOU DO
Share photos and news on your Facebook page.
YOU DON’T
Share embarrassing photos of yourself and others with negative comments on your page.
Why
Once you post a photo, a lot of other people will see it; and you will probably never be able to take it back. Sometimes, however, a photo you think is funny can really be hurtful or insulting to another person. Think of all the embarrassing photos that have been taken of you. They may have seemed funny at the time, but how would you feel if someone posted them online for everyone to see?
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A gentleman does not use his computer to say bad things about other people.
A gentleman does not create an e-mail address that is in bad taste.
A gentleman does not do anything on the computer that puts himself or his family at risk. This includes talking to strangers and illegal downloading.