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Chapter 38

BORROWING AND SHARING

You’ve been hearing about borrowing and sharing ever since you were a baby. Your parents or your babysitter probably taught you that you should share your toys with others and that you should let your sister have some of the cookies, too.

As you get older, however, sharing your own stuff and borrowing things from other people take on a new meaning. That’s because some of the stuff you have now is more expensive than the toys you played with when you were little. What’s more, you now have stuff that has a lot more personal meaning to you. You have stuff that you plan to keep for a long time, and it’s important to you.

It’s likely that the things you’ll be asking to borrow from others will be more valuable, too. As you get older, when you ask to borrow anything, you will want to be more and more responsible. You will also learn that some people do not take good care of the things they borrow. If a friend has a history of damaging or losing your property, it is Okay to tell him or her no. In fact, it is the smart thing to do.

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YOU DO

Take care of anything you borrow (and that includes a book or a DVD you borrow from the library).

YOU DON’T

Treat another person’s property as if it isn’t worth much—even if it doesn’t seem very valuable to you.

Why

Your buddy’s old, worn-out catcher’s mitt might have a special meaning to him—a meaning you don’t know about. It may have been a gift from his grandfather, who used to play in the minor leagues. Think how bad you would feel if you lost something that was a gift from your grandfather—a gift that could never be replaced.

YOU DO

Know there are some things you should never share or lend.

YOU DON’T

Let someone borrow your property, just because you want them to like you.

Why

If a friend asks to borrow your favorite fishing pole—a fishing pole that cost a bundle and was a very special gift from your parents—it is Okay to say no, since you know it probably can’t be replaced. Likewise, if a friend asks to borrow your iPod when he goes on vacation for a week and you know you won’t want to be without your music for that long, it is Okay to say no. Although it is Okay to say no, you must still say it like a gentleman. A gentleman would never say, “No, you can’t borrow it. I’m afraid you will break it.” A gentleman would simply say, “I’m sorry, I can’t lend my fishing pole. It was a gift from my parents.” And that is all you have to say.

YOU DO

Accept someone else’s decision when you ask to borrow something.

YOU DON’T

Whine or beg when someone tells you no.

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Why

Begging is never cool. Pleading, “But I promise I’ll take good care of your iPod. I really, really promise,” only makes you sound like a baby. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes. There is probably a good reason he or she has said no. At the same time, your friend’s iPod is his property. He doesn’t have to lend it to you, unless he wants to. When a friend tells you no, you respect his decision and figure out another way to enjoy music during your vacation.

If a gentleman breaks something he has borrowed, he finds a way to replace it or to repair it.

A gentleman does not borrow anything that he can’t afford to replace or repair. He thinks twice before asking to borrow an expensive item.

A gentleman knows the difference between saying no for a good reason and being selfish. He avoids being selfish, at any cost. A gentleman tries to help others out in every way he possibly can.