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Chapter 39

THE UNZIPPED ZIPPER AND OTHER EMBARRASSING SITUATIONS

It’s funny when . . .

• People slip on some ice and fall on their rear ends.

• A guy laughs so hard that milk comes out of his nose.

• A guy walks around school or at a party with his pants unzipped.

• A guy’s voice cracks while he is giving a report.

But it’s not funny when you’re the guy who falls on his rear end, when milk comes squirting out of your nose, when you are the guy walking around with his fly open, or when your voice cracks in front of a crowd of people.

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Actually, some other people may think it’s kind of funny, but it may not seem all that funny to you.

From time to time, every guy will discover that he is walking around with his fly open. And people fall down on the ice all the time. The voice-cracking thing will eventually end. And the milk thing usually happens when you are laughing at something that’s really funny.

You are going to have a much better life if you are able to laugh along with your friends when you do something embarrassing or funny.

A gentleman tries his best not to let such moments bother him.

YOU DO

Tell another guy if you notice that his zipper is open.

YOU DON’T

Point at the other guy in front of other people and call unnecessary attention to the fact that his zipper is open. And you do not make lame remarks such as, “Hey, Bobby, looks like the barn door is open.”

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Why

A gentleman always puts himself in the other fellow’s place. He knows that, if he were the one walking around with his zipper down, he wouldn’t want anybody making fun of him.

YOU DO

Understand that other people may not share your sense of humor. It may not be a good idea to laugh out loud when somebody falls on an icy sidewalk. Other people may not think it’s as funny as you do.

YOU DON’T

Get so caught up in laughing that you forget to ask the person who fell if he or she is hurt.

Why

A person can get seriously hurt by a fall. But even if he or she is not seriously hurt, it is your duty as a gentleman to help him or her up and make sure he or she is not seriously injured.

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If a gentleman sees somebody walking around with a piece of toilet paper stuck to his or her shoe, he tells that person about it, very quietly.

If a gentleman has seen someone walking around with a piece of toilet paper stuck to his or her shoe, he does not go around telling the story to other people.