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Chapter 47

PICKING UP AFTER YOUR PET

Remember when you begged your parents to let you have a puppy? Remember how you promised, again and again, that you would take care of him and wash him and feed him and take him for walks? At that point, you probably were thinking about all the cool things you could do with your own dog—things like rolling with him in the leaves and letting him lick your face.

But owning a pet means that you have to be responsible for the not-so-fun times as well as the fun ones. And that means you have to deal with pet poop. Unless you live in the country and have a dog who goes into the woods to do his business, or you’ve got a cat who has figured out how to use the toilet, picking up pet poop or cleaning out the litter box is going to be part of your standard routine.

Whether you said it or not, that was part of the promise you made when you asked for a pet. It’s not just a promise you made to your parents. You also made it to everybody who’s likely to walk down the sidewalk after you and your dog.

YOU DO

Pick up your dog’s poop when you take him for a walk in somebody else’s yard.

YOU DON’T

Leave the poop in the grass, even if nobody is watching.

Why

Other people don’t want the surprise of stepping in your dog’s poop, much less the burden of trying to scrape it off their shoes. Would you want other people turning your yard into the community dog poop park?

YOU DO

Take along a plastic bag to put the poop in. You can slip the bag over your fingers like a glove. That way, you’ll eliminate poop-to-hand contact.

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YOU DON’T

Just toss the bag in the middle of the street or drop it in somebody else’s garbage can.

Why

It’s your dog’s poop. It goes in your trash can.

YOU DO

Empty your cat’s litter box on a regular schedule.

YOU DON’T

Wait until your entire house smells like old kitty litter before you clean it out.

Why

Gentlemen don’t live in houses that smell like old kitty litter.

YOU DO

Clean up your dog’s poop, even if he chooses to do his business on his own home turf.

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YOU DON’T

Wait until someone steps in a big pile of poop and tracks it into your house, causing you to get yelled at.

Why

You don’t want to spend your time cleaning the carpet. Life will be a lot easier if you just go ahead and pick up the poop.

A gentleman takes responsibility for his own pets.

A gentleman walks his dog regularly, allowing enough time for his dog to do his bathroom business.

A gentleman always carries a plastic bag or two when he walks his dog.