1. People who use footnotes in books are very smart, and you can trust what they say.

2. Like adding footnotes to books.

3. Footnote: It’s true. Think about it.

4. Epaulettes are those things soldiers wear on their shoulders to make them look more important. Nothing proclaims “look how macho I am” more than a good set of epaulettes. Other than, I guess, a big sign that reads “look how macho I am,” but we wouldn’t want to be flagrant about it, would we?

5. There. That’s better.

6. I guess I was expecting marmosets?

7. Yes, solitaire. What, you think kings and queens are always doing important stuff, like chopping off heads and invading neighboring kingdoms?