excerpts from
Props
from
The Best American Short Plays 2005–2006
DENISE Well, you did and what you said to me got me all confused. It was like I was hearing the you I fell . . . Damn. Please, don’t think about me, Andrew. Don’t dream about me. Not now. When we had a chance you threw it away and now I’m happy. I’ve moved on. You need to stop thinking about me and move on. Replace me, Andrew. It’s not hard. You’re a wonderful guy and I wish you nothing but happiness, but please replace me and stop torturing yourself. I’m smoke, Andrew. You know all about smoke. It’s what remains after the fire. There’s only you now. . . . Only you. Timing was never our strong suit. You were pining for someone when all I wanted was you and I fell in love when all you wanted was me. I think that we need to spend some time away from each other. I think that you need to get out of this shop and stop talking to toys. I think you need to talk to Susan because it’s obvious you’re not over her. [. . .] I don’t want to be the one to bring this up, but you chose Susan over me, remember? I would have waited for you, but she took you away from me. We didn’t talk for an entire year. Do you know what that’s like? Having a best friend and losing him for a year? Having the person who you value more than anything turn their back on you? I had to find some comfort, Andrew, and I did. It’s not with you. I’m sorry. Talk to Susan and stop obsessing over this job. I worry about you all the time. You’ve been working nonstop for the entire week. You actually gave the puppet a name and refer to it as her. Look at me. I know you need a friend, but you can’t test the boundaries of our friendship. I can only be your friend, Andrew. No matter how much you’re willing to give. I can’t give the same.
• • • •
SUSAN You want me to say it again, Andrew? It hurt you so bad the first time, what makes you think the second will be better? I am sorry for what I said, but I also remember you provoking it. You asked me to tell you what was wrong and I refused. You pushed me and you pushed me until I finally told you why I was so upset. I told you how I felt at that moment. It had nothing to do with how I truly feel about you. I got caught up in the moment. I was so angry with you I just said those things. I never meant them. I don’t see why we can’t get past all of this. Why you can’t just come back to me.
[She moves towards him.]
You know you belong with me. Why push me away? I said I’m sorry. I miss you. Please.
[Her arms are now around him and she kisses his neck.]
I can change. I’ll never say anything that horrible again. I promise. Come home with me. Come to bed. You don’t have to wake up alone tomorrow, Andrew. It can all be so much better. Come on . . .
[She unbuttons her top.]
don’t you miss me?
• • • •
SUSAN This will all be over soon. I spent years on you, Andrew. I wanted you to feel like you had a life. All of the others before you were too obsessed with my life. They wanted to follow me everywhere. My goal was to create someone who could be entirely independent. So I made you an artist with real goals in life. I provided you with a history and a degree. Select memories from your childhood that would fuel an individualistic spirit were implanted. I gave you a first love. Denise worked well and the stuff about her drawing circles in the mud with her foot was very cute. I then allowed you to create your own world. You chose to make Melissa, who was an excellent best friend, but the flaw with her was that she was against me. In fact, she’s one of the reasons that you broke up with me. The one thing I never counted on, though, was that you wouldn’t come back. I had no idea that you were making her. I knew that you were moving away from me but I thought it was just one of the other two. They posed no threat, because they could never actually love you while I was around. I hadn’t planned on you being able to tum me down, though. I guess that comes with making you such an individual. In essence, making you believe that you existed. You’re a puppet, Andrew. A prop. And I still to this day haven’t been able to make you real. What makes you think that you can do that for her? And more importantly, what makes you think that I’ll let you try? It ends here. I love you. But you are a failed experiment and there is only one thing to do with a failed experiment. Good-bye.
[The stage goes completely dark and we see SUSAN light a single match. All of a sudden we see the match go out as if something has snuffed it. The lights fade back up to discover ANDREW standing directly across from SUSAN.]