I Give You Back

          I release you, my beautiful and terrible

          fear. I release you. You were my beloved

          and hated twin, but now, I don’t know you

          as myself. I release you with all the

          pain I would know at the death of

          my children.

          You are not my blood anymore.

          I give you back to the soldiers

          who burned down my home, beheaded my children,

          raped and sodomized my brothers and sisters.

          I give you back to those who stole the

          food from our plates when we were starving.

          I release you, fear, because you hold

          these scenes in front of me and I was born

          with eyes that can never close.

          I release you

          I release you

          I release you

          I release you

          I am not afraid to be angry.

          I am not afraid to rejoice.

          I am not afraid to be black.

          I am not afraid to be white.

          I am not afraid to be hungry.

          I am not afraid to be full.

          I am not afraid to be hated.

          I am not afraid to be loved.

          to be loved, to be loved, fear.

          Oh, you have choked me, but I gave you the leash.

          You have gutted me but I gave you the knife.

          You have devoured me, but I laid myself across the fire.

          I take myself back, fear.

          You are not my shadow any longer.

          I won’t hold you in my hands.

          You can’t live in my eyes, my ears, my voice

          my belly, or in my heart my heart

          my heart     my heart

          But come here, fear

          I am alive and you are so afraid

                                                            of dying.