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The Next Day
Sylvia pulled her pants up. Carter hurried and zipped his pants before reaching for the restroom door. She grabbed his hand and turned him toward her. She frowned but evident hurt was in her eyes.
“Is that it?” she asked.
“What?” He seemed confused by the question.
“I’m a quickie for you? After nearly a month of you being isolated and alone while Magnus and I were in hibernation, all you want is to . . . relieve yourself and walk away?”
“No, Sylvia.”
Her eyes moistened and her cheeks flushed red.
“I’m sorry,” he said. He leaned toward her.
Reluctantly her lips met his, but no passion came in his kiss, but even if it had, the moment for her was gone, ruined. She pushed the door open and brushed past him.
“You okay?” he asked.
“I’ll be fine.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, you said that already.” She glanced back and noticed the lost expression on his face. For some reason she thought about Wanda and her death. She winced. Of course, why didn’t she even consider that? Could Carter still be grieving over her? She bit her lower lip and closed her eyes, feeling like an idiot. “Carter, I’m sorry too. I wasn’t thinking. Is . . . is what we did too soon?”
“What?”
Sylvia swallowed hard. “After Wanda?”
“I’ve tried not to dwell on her during the past few weeks. But maybe it is bothering me at a deeper level.”
“Is that part of the reason why you didn’t want to hibernate?”
He shrugged. “It could be part of it. Really, there’s a lot on my mind, and I don’t want to discuss this right now.”
“You’re sure I didn’t do anything wrong? You know, rushing us?”
“No. Don’t be silly.”
She forced a smile. “If you need more time—”
“Sylvia, please, it’s a combination of a lot of things. Not this. Certainly not this or what we have.”
“Okay. I don’t mean to press you, but talking about problems with a friend can help. Is it Grayson, too?”
“Yes, him, what we’ll do once we get to Earth, and maybe it’s jetlag and my sleep deprivation.” His eyes narrowed. He looked away obviously angry and frustrated.
“If you need to talk sometime . . .”
“There’s nothing to discuss. Okay? Please, give me a few minutes to think.” He refused to make eye contact with her.
Sylvia nodded, fighting tears. “I’ll wait for you at our seats.”
She hurried away from him and down the aisle.
***
Carter shut the restroom door and locked it. He ran his hands through his hair and then rubbed his eyes, trying to gain enough courage to look into the restroom mirror. He knew having sex with Sylvia in the restroom had been a mistake. The alien always visited him in this one, and he feared she had watched him with Sylvia.
He pumped sanitary hand cleanser from the wall dispenser and coated his hands, rubbing them together vigorously. Still, he feared glancing into the glass.
While his fling with Sylvia had been quick and pleasurable, it couldn’t compare with the sensations he had felt with the alien, which was something he had longed for and doubted he’d ever know again.
He took a deep breath and turned, facing the mirror. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have allowed myself to do that with Sylvia.”
The alien’s face didn’t materialize in the glass like before, but he felt her presence. “No, you must let her believe that you love her.”
“Why?”
“So you can carry your mission to kill Grayson.”
“She has nothing to do with that.”
“No, but continual isolation from her with only draw more suspicion toward you and what’s hidden inside your briefcase.”
Carter thought about that. He agreed, but was also troubled that the alien wanted him to be more intimate with Sylvia. “What about you and I?”
“I’m always with you.”
“But I need you more than just inside my mind. I need what we shared together on Deimos when you healed me. Our physical bond. That’s what I miss. I’ve never experienced that kind of ecstasy before.”
“You fulfill your promise to me, and you’ll have that again. But make certain Sylvia believes you’re with her. She and Magnus mustn’t ever learn about me.”
Chills ran down his arms. As he feared, she was a threat to the others. When he no longer felt her presence, he turned on the water and washed his face.
***
Magnus sat in his seat with Digger curled on his tree trunk of a leg. The ferret slept, curled with its belly exposed and appeared to have a slight smile on its face. Sylvia approached. She looked distraught and near tears.
“What’s bothering you?” he asked.
“You mind if I sit beside you?”
“Your company is always welcome.”
“Thanks. I think I was too hasty and moved too fast with Carter.”
“You seemed to have taken a quick liking to him.”
Sylvia shook her head. “No. I’ve been attracted to him for a long time. But since he was stationed on Deimos and I was assigned my duty to work as a mechanic in the landing bay on Mars. He seldom came to Mars though.”
“And what is the current problem?”
“His mind is focused . . . overwhelmed by everything else. I think he still hasn’t gotten over Wanda’s death.”
“Losses like that take time to heal.”
“I understand that. I do. But if he’d let me, I’d do whatever I could to love away his pain.”
“We still have five more months, okay not that much now, but you have a few months of space travel to learn more about one another. If it’s meant to be, trust me, it will work itself out.”
“And if it doesn’t, this will be a few awkward months to deal with.”
“That’s true, too, but try not to focus on the possible downside, okay?”
“I’ll try.”
Carter came down the aisle with his briefcase in hand, and she crossed her arms, frowning and refusing to even glance in his direction.
“Look,” he said, “I didn’t mean to be short with you.”
Magnus cradled Digger in his hands without waking him and stood. “I’ll give you two some privacy.”
“Men can be regular jerks. You know that, right?” Carter said. “I was the biggest asshole ever a while ago.”
“You think?” Still she refused to look at him.
“I never meant to disregard your feelings. You have every reason to be upset and hate me, but—”
“I don’t hate you. I’m very turned off by you right now. In my mind I had one image of you and us, but you burst that fantasy bubble.”
Carter nodded. “I know, and I’m truly sorry. You don’t have to accept my apology or even forgive me. I don’t deserve to be with someone like you.”
“You’re right. You don’t.”
Carter turned to walk away.
Sylvia grinned and glanced toward him. “Sit.”
Puzzled, he met her eyes. “You’re sure?”
“How else are we going to work through this unless we talk?”
“You’re right.” He set the briefcase in the aisle beside the seat. “I’m sorry.”
“No more groveling. As much as a woman hates men who are dicks, we also hate pleaders and whiners. It’s still a long trip to Earth. We need to figure out where we stand and proceed. If we’re not going to be a couple, at least we should get that out in the open right away.”
Carter stared at her and smiled. “You’d really consider being with me after how I acted?”
“Let’s start from this moment forward, okay?”
He shrugged. “Okay.”
“I’m willing to overlook your actions as your internal struggle to cope with your losses on Deimos. I’ll put it as that, for now, unless it happens again, and then, no. I’m not going through any further disrespect.”
“Fair enough.”
“I know little about you.”
“What would you like to know?”
“What brought you to Deimos? I know you’re a medical doctor, but why travel across space to Mars and Deimos, besides the money. I know Grayson pays quite well.”
Carter smiled. “The money’s good. No argument there. But I’ve worked in the most destitute places on Earth when I was with the Peace Corps. I’ve watched people die from horrible diseases, and there wasn’t anything I could do to save them. I helped develop vaccines, but in the time it takes to manufacture one to cure a dying village or tribe, hundreds of people could die. So, Grayson offered me the job here, and I liked the idea of working on a new frontier. The last thing I expected was to see everyone on Deimos die like those helpless villages on Earth. I mean, the people here were healthy people until they were exposed to a new virus that we don’t have a cure or a name for. We still don’t.”
She read the sincerity in his eyes, his facial expressions, and the gentleness of his voice. She slid her hand into his. For the next few hours, they talked about their likes and dislikes, hoping to find their compatibilities where they could begin their relationship.