Sixty-Two

Maria walked into my dark apartment and climbed onto one of my kitchen stools. She looked at Click and Clack.

“They’re sleeping?”

“Yeah.”

She looked around. “It’s dark.”

I flipped on the kitchen lights. They barely pierced the gloom. Maria had been to my apartment before in the context of sleepovers. Those times, the apartment seemed to absorb the happy energy of my preparations. I wiped all the counters, stocked the fridge with fruit and the cabinets with granola bars, my air-blowing popcorn maker taking pride of place on my countertop. Maria had never seen my condo in its mundane state of me just living in it, just eating, just sleeping, just going through my motions. I looked around the apartment through her eyes. What a dreary place.

I pulled out my flip phone.

“Are you calling Auntie Adriana?”

“Yeah, of course. She’s worried sick.”

Maria pouted.

“You don’t want me to call her?”

“No.”

“Too bad.” I dialed.

Adriana answered.

“She’s here,” I said.

“We’ll be right over.”

I flipped the phone shut. “They’re coming over.”

More pouting.

“What’s wrong with you?”

“I’m thirsty.”

I got glasses, filled them with tap water. Gave one to Maria, kept one for myself, stood behind the breakfast nook. Tried again.

“Why did you run away?”

“I didn’t run away,” said Maria. “I came here.”

“Why didn’t you tell Aunt Adriana where you were going?”

“They were fighting.”

“People do that. It’s no reason to scare them.”

Maria drank some water, looked at the sleeping crabs. Tapped on the glass.

“Please don’t tap on the glass,” I said. “It disturbs the animals.”

“Like at the aquarium.”

“Exactly.”

More water drinking.

“They were fighting about me,” said Maria.

“What about you?”

“About whether I could come see you anymore.”

“Of course you can come see me. You didn’t have to run away.”

“Auntie Catherine says you’re dangerous.”

Just another kick in the gut. I was getting used to them.

“I’m not dangerous,” I said. “That’s ridiculous.”

“That’s what Auntie Adriana said. She says you’re family.”

“I am family.”

“And Auntie Catherine said that you were just another Rizzo. That you belonged in jail.”

“They had this fight in front of you?”

“I was in my room. But I could hear.”

Great. Just fucking great. I didn’t know what I was supposed to do with this. So I punted. “You want to watch Netflix?”

Maria nodded. We moved to the living room, where I threw on the Powerpuff Girls. Maria and I had made a pact to only watch the show with each other. It picked up where we had left off. That nut Professor Utonium had left the girls alone for an afternoon, and hilarity ensued.

“I used to think you were like him,” said Maria, nodding at the flat-screen monitor on my wall.

“Who? Utonium?”

“Uh-huh. You know, because you’re like a scientist.”

“But you don’t anymore?”

“Professor Utonium doesn’t get mad, but you do. So I don’t think you’re the same.”

“If he had to deal with a bunch of hackers, he’d be mad too.”

Maria nodded. “Yeah, he also doesn’t listen sometimes.”

“I listen.” On the screen, the Powerpuff Girls were beating up a goofy monster.

“Yeah, you do sometimes.”

“When don’t I listen?”

She said nothing.

We watched cartoons until the doorbell buzzed. I walked to the door, worked the intercom.

“It’s us,” said Adriana.

I buzzed them up, opened the door to my apartment. Went back into the living room and paused the show.

“I was watching that,” Maria said.

“I know, but your moms are here.”

Maria crossed her arms and sulked on the couch. Adriana and Catherine walked through the open door.

Catherine said, “You should put in a peephole, so you don’t have to leave the door open.”

“And a Happy Unsolicited Advice Day to you too,” I said, leaving the door open.

“Jesus, are we going to start already?” Adriana said. She went to Maria on the couch. “You get over here!”

Maria didn’t move.

“You see what I put up with,” Adriana said to me.

“What we put up with,” said Catherine.

“Yes. Yes,” said Adriana.

“I’m surprised you two came alone,” I said.

“Why?” asked Catherine.

“Seems bold, seeing as how Maria’s been told I’m dangerous and all.”

Catherine looked away. Adriana said to her, “I told you Maria was listening.”

“It’s true.”

“Because you heard it on the Internet, right?” I said. “What are you? A child?”

“You haven’t been able to explain any of it!” Catherine said.

“I don’t have to explain it. It’s lies.”

“Not the videos.”

“The videos show me—”

“Show you beating people up.”

“That’s not a beating.”

“You can’t go around hitting people. You’re a bad influence on Maria.”

“Leave me out of it,” said Maria with preternatural maturity.

“You, young lady, are in big, big trouble,” said Adriana. “What got into you?”

“Your fighting,” I said.

“We’re fighting because of you,” said Adriana.

“Because Catherine says I’m a bad influence?”

“I’m not wrong,” said Catherine. “You’re just as bad as the rest of them.”

“The rest of what?”

“The rest of the Internet trolls.”

“I’m not a troll. I was just minding my own business.”

“You started this whole thing!”

“Peter started it.”

“And what if you had let it go?” Catherine said.

“What?”

“What if you didn’t have to be the big man on the Internet?”

“He would have—”

“He would have gone and picked on somebody else, and Maria would have gotten off with a suspension. But you had to go after him.”

“He deserved it.”

“And what do you think the #TuckerGate people are saying about you?”

I had had enough of this. I stalked over to Maria. “You need to go now.”

Maria remained unmoved. “I don’t want to go!”

Adriana said, “C’mon, honey. We’ve got to go home.”

“No!”

This had an easy solution. I picked Maria up.

“Put me down!” she shrieked.

“Put her down, Tucker,” said Adriana.

“Just put her down,” said Catherine.

I carried the squirming Maria to the open door of my apartment and placed her in the hallway. “It’s time for you to go home.”

Maria looked up at me, eyes narrowed. “I hate you!”

They all left. I closed the door behind them.

“That makes two of us.”