Chapter 26

Negotiate for Win-Win Success

Whether you’re considering a new job, asking for that deserved raise, commanding a higher freelance rate, or stopping doing work for free, you need to make a habit of negotiating for your work value—an obvious Power Move. Once you’ve determined a fair pay range, it’s time to make it happen. Pay negotiations can be stressful events, but remember, you’re just asking for what you deserve in comparison to your work peers—based on the value you provide. There is absolutely nothing wrong with asking to be paid fairly.

Still, it’s not easy for a lot of women to negotiate money issues. A recent study out of the University of Texas found that when women negotiate for themselves, they tend to ask for smaller salaries than men do or than they themselves do when they are advocating for others. The reason for this—beyond not knowing and general anxiety—is many women worry that when they ask for more money they’ll be considered “pushy” and it will damage their image at work. And they may have some reason to be concerned: a 2017 study titled “Do Women Ask?” found that women actually do ask for raises as often as men, but we’re more likely to be denied them or to receive blowback for speaking up about the subject in the first place (sending the message that it does in fact hurt to ask).

Let’s take a look at two scenarios—negotiating for a raise and negotiating for compensation at a new job. Here’s the process I recommend when you’re negotiating with your employer for a raise.

How to Ask for a Raise

It’s time to ask for a raise. Are you ready? I know, most people are terrified at the mere thought of asking for more money. But get this: asking for a raise can be incredibly motivating and empowering. Plus, taking the initiative to set up this meeting, arriving with a thoughtfully prepared case for yourself, and (hopefully) agreeing to that new salary is pretty much the ultimate Power Move of self-advocacy. Let’s get started.

Before You Ask: Prepare, Prepare, Prepare

To be successful, there are two elements that must work in conjunction: preparation and timing.

Before you build your pitch for that raise we all know you deserve, you need the knowledge, data, and history to back up your ask. Also, you need to make sure the timing is correct. If your company is in the middle of working out a huge merger, maybe give it a minute. You don’t want your amazing case to fall on distracted ears.

Do

Don’t

Some Other Tips

It’s Time to Make the Ask

Every pitch, sale, or marketing effort is going to involve storytelling—good storytelling. What makes a good story? It’s pretty simple—situation, conflict, and resolution. In your story, your resolution is you getting the raise.

The easiest way to do that is to cover the who, what, where, why, when, and how.

And now, Career Contessa’s formula—“The GIMME”:

G:  Give Background Info

I:   Introduce Why You’re Awesome

M: Make Your Case Research-Based (This is where all that research comes in!)

M: Make the Ask

E:  End with a Bang (Bang = how your future contributions will help the company!)

Let’s recap: Asking for a raise is the ultimate self-advocacy. It’s your right! And even your responsibility to yourself to make as much money as you can. Before you ask, be prepared. Find out comparable salaries, come in armed with reasons why it’s time to give you this raise. And when you’re still not sure, follow our formula for “raise-asking” along with considerations like the best time to ask, collecting your praise and accomplishments, etc., so when you do make that ask, it’s impressive, you’re impressive, and you get an impressive salary out of it.

Negotiating Compensation for a New Job

So how do you negotiate your pay for a new job? While the approach is similar to asking for a raise, there are a couple of notable differences. One of the questions you will probably get asked during the interview process is “What are your salary expectations?” This is often the first step in what can be a stressful process, particularly when you really want the position. Needless to say, there are differing opinions about the best way to negotiate and win your desired salary.

I’m not new to the question around salary expectations because when I was a recruiter at Hulu, it was the one question I always asked in my initial phone screens. However, before I share some steps you can follow for determining the number you provide in response, I want to explain why this question is being asked—and why it’s great for you to name your salary number first. A lot of salary advice actually encourages you not to “throw out” the first number because they call that the “anchor number,” which sets the tone for the rest of the negotiation. The general old-school advice is that you should delay stating your preferred salary range until you’ve made an offer or let the employer share their salary range first, but what happens if they offer something significantly lower?!

Our advice, and the advice we’ve heard from other women and seen work, is that you want to put out the first number (based on your research, of course), and that is a better strategy for being paid the market value for your skills. Here’s how Inc.com puts it:

. . . some research has indicated that the result of a negotiation is often closer to what the first mover proposed than to the number the other party had in mind; the first number uttered in a negotiation (so long as it is not ridiculous) has the effect of “anchoring the conversation.”

In other words, throwing out the first number gives you the opportunity to use what’s called anchoring bias in your favor. Using the advice provided in the previous tool (“Know Your Work Value”), you’ve come prepared with a number or range following your thorough research. Here’s what comes next:

Present your number or salary range. “Where do you want to be salary-wise?” the interviewer says so casually, you’d think she was asking if you’d like cream with your coffee.

Stay cool. This is where men and women tend to differ. Men often give a distinct number based off of market research and self-evaluation. Women tend to give a wishy-washy version of what they’d settle for. If you’ve done your market research and you’ve taken the time to validate what you bring to the table, state your requirements in a concrete fashion. Next, be prepared to explain why you feel this number is appropriate.

When the interviewer asks if this number is flexible, simply state you’d be able to reassess once you’ve seen the entire packaged offer. Keep in mind, your “package” could include anything from company equity, vacation days, and growth opportunities to travel, bonuses, and even awesome office perks—free food, anyone?

The younger you are in your career, the more I’d encourage you to consider career growth opportunities over money. Early on, choosing the place that is going to teach you the most will give you the opportunity to learn valuable skills, making you more valuable in the future.

Negotiate Potential Outcomes

You’ve heard it before: the most successful negotiations are those in which both parties feel as though they’ve “won.” That’s a bit misleading. I prefer to approach a salary negotiation not as a contest where one party wins but as an exercise in which both parties are seeking to find fair value. Thinking this way relieves a lot of anxiety because you are both seeking the same thing and you’ll be prepared to show that your value is completely justified. That’s a major Power Move!