The paperwork required to document Bellingham’s case was worse than Kane had even imagined and the following Monday afternoon found Kane still typing and printing and filing. From time to time he’d glance up from the monitor and more often than not he’d catch Fred Immerson staring at him as if Kane were some strange and potentially dangerous dog that had wandered into Immerson’s yard. Kane knew that Immerson was making up his mental list of Kane’s triumphs and mistakes and that the final tally had not yet been determined.
On the positive side Kane had caught Brownstein’s and, presumably, Grant Eustace’s killer and had thwarted a plan to distribute massive quantities of a toxic drug. And he had discovered a traitor and a criminal in their own organization.
The negative entries on Kane’s ledger were equally serious. He had lied to Immerson about his investigation, not once but several times, lies that not only struck at the heart of the rules that governed the Office but evidenced at least a lack of trust and at most a lack of respect for Immerson himself.
Even worse than that Kane had been party to the arrest of a senior Homeland Security official. Yes, the man was a crook and a traitor but those sorts of transgressions were always better handled privately and quietly. Instead the public had now learned of the man’s crimes and that led them, inevitably, to wonder how many other Homeland Security officers, and by extension, how many government officials of all types, were despicable criminals who should not be trusted to do the nation’s work. And the worst of Kane offenses was that he had done all this through the offices of their prime competitor, the FBI.
Immerson wasn’t so much interested in punishing Kane for these past transgressions as he was worried what new mischief Kane might create in the future if some similar situation should arise. But any action against Kane, a transfer or demotion or tasking him to inventory the supply of paperclips in the Bismarck, North Dakota office, held its own risks.
Kane had a powerful ally and protector in Senator Arthur Denning who could be expected to make substantial trouble for anyone who messed with him. And then there was Sebastian Wren to consider. On the one hand Wren would naturally have the same concerns about Kane’s organizational soundness as Immerson himself but on a personal level Kane had done Wren a good turn. Upon Dawson’s arrest Wren had been provisionally tapped to fill Dawson’s position and unless Wren got caught screwing a coke whore on his desk during business hours his appointment was almost certain to be made permanent. Wren might feel a residue of good will for Kane and thus block any attempt at retribution for Kane’s bureaucratic misdeeds.
When all was said and done, Immerson decided that the scales were evenly balanced. Kane would get neither a commendation nor a rebuke but instead would be allowed to go along as he had before in the hope that if he were someday again faced with a similar situation that he would display a better sense of discretion. That was a faint hope indeed Immerson knew but there was nothing to be done about it now.
“Kane!” Immerson shouted across the bull pen and waved Greg to his office. Kane closed the door behind him and took his usual chair.
“I’ve been reading your report on Rosewood’s actions,” Immerson began. “Let me get this straight. He went over the fence at the location without waiting for backup?”
“Yes.”
“Then he fell off the top of the fence and lost his phone?”
“Yes.”
“He accosted this Ryan Munroe, a man suspected of already killing two federal agents, and failed to immediately cuff him or even search him for weapons?”
“Yes.”
“When Munroe first reached for his weapon Rosewood had a shot and he didn’t take it?”
“Yes.”
“He gave up his gun when he still had a chance to shoot Munroe?” Immerson asked, shaking his head in disbelief.
“Yes.”
“Quite a list of mistakes, wouldn’t you say?”
“Yes it is,” Kane agreed.
“He was your partner. You’re the man who was almost killed as the result of his failures. What do you think I should do?”
Kane frowned. Was it anger or regret, Immerson wondered.
“Here’s how I see it. Danny was never in the military and except for some firearms classes he never had any law enforcement training. He’s never been in combat or been shot at or been in any real physical danger. As far as I know he’s never even been in a serious fist fight. He found himself alone in a very dangerous situation. It would have been the easiest thing in the world for him to stay at the front gate and wait for back up. But he didn’t.
“When he spotted Munroe he could have gone back to the front gate and reported to the FBI when they eventually arrived. But he didn’t. When Munroe told him to put down his gun he could have done nothing, waited to see if Munroe actually shot me and then shot him in return. Instead he did a very foolish thing that he thought, wrongly, would protect me.
“After Munroe shot him he could have given up or tried to crawl away or played dead. He had never been under fire before, certainly never been shot. He was in pain, bleeding. He must have been terrified. What did he do? He pulled out a backup gun and killed the son of a bitch and saved my life. It was the bravest thing I’ve ever seen. I think you should give him a medal.”
“What if he screws up again? The next time you might not be so lucky.”
“He’s trainable. I’ll teach him what he needs to know.”
“All right,” Immerson said after a moment’s thought.
Kane stood but before he reached the door Immerson called after him, “I think you’re right, Kane.”
“About what?”
“That was the bravest thing I’ve ever heard. When you see Rosewood you can tell him that he’s passed his probation. He’s got the job if he still wants it.”
“Oh, he wants it,” Kane said. “You can take that to the bank.”
Greg’s phone was ringing when he got back to his desk.
“Kane.”
“Mr. Kane, It’s Ernie Ramirez . . . the manager at Denny’s. You asked me to run a tab for that homeless guy, Randy Foy.”
“Oh, sure. Is there a problem?”
“You said to call you when the money ran out. I think he’s only got one or two meals left on the tab you had me run. What do you want to do?”
Kane ran a fast mental calculation. If Randy was eating a meal or two a day, plus tip and tax, well, the timing was about right. Now what? Should he just keep on feeding this guy? For how long? A month? A year? And then what?
“Mr. Ramirez, can I call you back in a few minutes?” Kane took down Ramirez’s number and hung up. After his last dream about his brother Greg had dug out the little Buddhism book they had given him in the anger management class and he had been reading a few pages at odd moments every day. Kane rummaged for it in his top drawer and then began flipping pages and making notes. Ten minutes later he called Ramirez back.
“How long are you going to be at the restaurant?” Kane asked.
“Another couple of hours I guess.”
“Good, I’ll stop by.”
Forty-five minutes later Kane handed Ramirez an envelope.
“The cash is for you. Add it to his account. And there’s a note in there for him. I’d appreciate it if you’d give it to him and ask him to read it. Can you do that?”
“Sure, I guess.”
“Thanks,” Kane said. After he left Ernie opened the envelope. It contained five-hundred dollars in twenties which he duly added to Foy’s account. He’s lucky I’m an honest man, Ernie thought, then picked up the note. He knew that he shouldn’t read it, but he did anyway:
“Randy,
“I know you’re hurting. I read somewhere that denying our pain only makes it worse. I didn’t listen then but now I’m starting to believe that they were probably right. They warned me that the more I tried to push my anger into a corner, to ignore it, to deny it, the stronger it would get, that it was like a seawall raised against the waves and that by fighting against them it would inevitably be broken.
“They told me that to be free of my anger I had to accept it, smile at it, and let it pass through me and wash itself away. I’m trying to do that and it seems to be working. I’m asking you to do me a favor – try to do the same thing with your memories. Stop fighting them. Stop trying to drug yourself into forgetting them. Accept them as part of you. Acknowledge them. Own them and then let them drift away when they’re ready to go and, most of all, remember that the past is dead but that you are not.
“I believe in you.
“–Gregory Kane”
Ernie read the note a second time but it seemed like mumbo jumbo to him. Well, it was none of his business. When Randy came in for dinner half an hour later Ernie told him that his friend had filled up his account with more money and he gave Randy the envelope and watched him read the note. After a minute the homeless guy stuffed the paper into a grimy pocket and walked over to his regular table without saying a word.
As the weeks went by Randy Foy slipped from Kane’s mind. Greg had told the manager to call him when Randy’s account again ran low but Kane never heard from Ernie Ramirez again.