Amazingly, I didn’t have any homework for the weekend and took a break from the paper. The article was basically done ahead of schedule, and Mr. Trigg had approved the Dear Know-It-All letter. I was trying to remember to take breaks and have more fun this year. Last year, things got so busy sometimes and I got too stressed out, certainly more stressed out than a girl my age should be!
Mom, Allie, and I went out for Chinese food on Friday night. And Hailey slept over on Saturday. We spent the evening scoping around Buddybook, baking totally nonvegan cupcakes, and watching a movie.
“See, I would just shave a little off the ears and make him a touch taller,” Hailey said as we checked out a cute picture of Frank playing baseball.
“Now you want him taller? You’re impossible!” I exclaimed. “How would you like it if he and Michael were doing the same thing in their rooms tonight?”
“Well,” said Hailey, looking carefully at the screen. “See right there.” She pointed at a list of names on the right. “Frank and Michael are both on Buddybook right now, so they just might be.”
“You can see that?” I said, leaning in to look at the list.
“Yup,” she said. “How much do I have to pay you to join the modern world and open a Buddy-book account?”
“A million dollars. I already tried that and it’s not for me. I’ll just stick with e-mailing and texting, thank you very much.” I got up from my chair. When I’d joined Buddybook, I’d gotten completely obsessed with it and it had made me distracted and insecure. Not for me. “Close it out. The whole thing’s making me nervous right now, like they can see us.”
Hailey bent her head down and started laughing hysterically. “Yeah, they can see us through the peephole in the computer,” she said between giggles.
I picked up a pillow from my bed. “Oh, you think that’s funny?” I took a little whack at her with the pillow.
She whipped around in her chair and got up. “Are you sure you want to mess with a star athlete, Martone?” Hailey said. She picked up a pillow and whacked me good. I held my ground and didn’t fall.
“Yeah, let me see what you got.” I whacked her harder. Hailey centered herself and whacked me back again, this time really hard. I fell, but kind of into Hailey, and she came tumbling down on top of me. We were a heap of laughing arms, legs, and pillows. Then we both lay back on the floor, trying to catch our breath, the giggles still coming. A perfect Saturday night, if you ask me.
Monday came way too fast. I shuffled down the hallway at school to my first class, trying to feel awake.
“Sam,” Michael called out behind me.
“Oh, hey,” I said, and smiled. Sometimes when I hadn’t seen Michael in a few days, I realized that I had missed him—not that I would ever tell him that in a hundred years.
He smiled at me meekly and quickly looked down again.
“Is something wrong?” I asked. He seemed a little uncomfortable, not himself.
“I thought about the texting article, how I said it was a puff piece. It’s not. You’re right.”
Reporter Finally Admits Defeat! “I’m sorry,” I said, grinning. “I couldn’t quite hear you. Can you say that again?”
He gave me a weak smile. “You’re right.”
“I still couldn’t quite make out what you said,” I joked, cupping my hand to my ear and squinting my eyes.
“Okay, I gotta go. Talk to you later,” Michael said quickly, and walked away. I swallowed hard, my cheeks on fire with embarrassment. I hoped he knew I was just joking. Had I offended him? It was not like Michael to be so serious. Usually, I was the one who was too serious.
“Did you just see a ghost?” Hailey came bounding up to me, holding her backpack tight around her shoulders. My shoulders relaxed on seeing her.
“No,” I said, shaking my head. “I think I just went too far.”
“Went too far where? With who? Catch me up here a little,” Hailey said, eyes widening with curiosity.
I took in a deep breath and let it out slowly to steady myself. “Michael just came up and told me I was right to take the texting article more seriously than he did. So I joked that I couldn’t hear him so he’d say I was right again, because, um, you know how often that happens,” I said.
“Yeah, and?” Hailey said, circling her hand for me to continue.
“So he said it,” I continued, feeling sort of out of breath. “But then I joked again about it, and he just kind of walked away and barely cracked a smile. Do you think I was being obnoxious?”
“No more than usual,” she said, smiling.
“Now you’re being obnoxious,” I said back, annoyed. This wasn’t time for joking anymore. I was suddenly afraid I had really upset Michael when I was just trying to be funny. I felt awful.
“Chillax, girl” Hailey said. “I was just joking with you!”
“I know,” I said, hanging my head. “I’m just worried.”
Hailey put her arm around me. “Michael does not think you’re obnoxious. Maybe he just had something else on his mind. I think you’re way overreacting.”
I looked up and shrugged. “I hope you’re right.”
All morning I was counting the minutes to lunch, but I was also really nervous to see Michael again. I got to the cafeteria early because I thought it was better if he saw me first than if I saw him first. If he came up to me, I’d know things were okay, and if he ignored me, then I’d just sit tight and let Hailey console me.
There weren’t that many people in the cafeteria. I got a tray and chose a chicken, avocado, and cheddar melt on whole-grain bread from the organic-option table. At least I’d have a good lunch. I was starving.
I walked to the tables with my tray and saw Jessica Kelly sitting at a table by herself with a stack of paper in front of her, gripping a pencil. I didn’t want to deal with her right now, so I started to turn away.
“Sam,” she called. I stopped midturn and glanced at her.
“Oh, hi, Jessica,” I said a little too sweetly, acting as if I were surprised to see her.
“Hi, um, want to sit here?” She pointed to a chair near her with her pencil, seeming unusually friendly.
I looked around for a second. This wasn’t what I’d had planned for my lunch hour. What if Michael walked in and sat down before I could even see if he noticed me? What if Jessica started giving me a list of pointers on my article that I never asked for?
“I mean, if you were planning to sit somewhere else, that’s okay. I just wanted to ask you a question,” she said in a small voice. I studied her face for a second. She looked a little pale and tired.
“Oh no. I can sit here,” I said. She was being so nice, I now felt a little bad that I had planned to ditch her.
I put my tray on the table and sat down. “What’s up?” I asked cheerfully, trying to keep the mood light, but inside my stomach was churning. Between being on the lookout for Michael and now wondering what Jessica was going to ask me, it was a little more than I could take.
She put her head in her hands and made a little moaning sound.
“Jessica? You okay?” I asked, now worrying that everyone I knew had been replaced by imposters.
“No,” she said, lifting her head. “I had no idea that the paper was going to take over my life like this. I have to make sure everything is perfect for the first issue, and I only have three more days to do it. I’ve been trying to keep up with everything, but now I’m afraid I’m going to overlook a million things and the paper will be the laughingstock of the school.” The words tumbled out, her face growing redder and redder, as if she might even cry.
Wait, what? Tough Editor in Chief Has a Weak Spot. I had no idea Jessica felt like this! She seemed so organized and sure of herself, annoyingly so. I thought I was the stress monster, making sure everything was perfect, doing draft after draft. But I knew that if I were editor in chief, I wouldn’t have the time to go over every single word. That’s what the section editors were for, and Mr. Trigg was great at looking at the paper as a whole. Also, most reporters were pretty seasoned, like me and Michael. We took fact checking and proofreading seriously, and Susannah had always relied on us for that. She never proofread the whole paper.
“I think you might be trying to do too much,” I said as nicely as I could.
“Like I have a choice!” Jessica said, stiffening.
I wanted to back down, but I also wanted to help her. I definitely did not want to argue with her, though. That was the last thing I needed right now, issues with the editor in chief. I already had enough drama going on.
“It’s okay if you don’t want my advice, but I just want to see if I can help you. Honestly, I do,” I said softly.
She relaxed her shoulders, sat back in her chair, and crossed her arms. “Okay. Give me what you’ve got.”
I sat up a little taller. “Well, as a former reporter, you’re probably used to focusing really hard on your article. But when you’re editor in chief, you can’t have that kind of focus on each article. Leave that to the reporters and the section editors. Your job is just to make sure everything flows and gets in on time. And you’re doing a great job,” I forced myself to say. She was, in some ways. She obviously really needed to hear it. I took it a step further and hoped I wouldn’t regret it. “Don’t tell her I said this, and I love Susannah, but you’re more organized than she was.”
“Really?” Jessica said, finally a smile spreading over her face.
“Totally. The paper’s going to be fine.”
She frowned. “Just fine?”
Good grief. I had no idea Jessica Kelly was so insecure. She wasn’t who I thought she was at all. “It’ll be fantastic!” I said, and patted her on the shoulder. She brightened.
“Thanks, Sam. I needed to hear that. And I really liked your new lead on the texting article.”
“Oh, good. Glad you liked it,” I said, and returned the smile. She must have felt really alone. I probably would have, too, on my first issue as editor in chief. For the first time, I was glad that it wasn’t me. I liked being able to roll my sleeves up and really get into a story. It was lonely at the top. Hopefully, now she’d be a little more easygoing in the Voice office.
Oh no! I thought, looking around. I had been so wrapped up with giving Jessica a pep talk I hadn’t even noticed if Michael had walked in the cafeteria or not.
“Something wrong?” Jessica asked.
“What? No, no, it’s nothing. Just, um, wondering if Hailey was here,” I said distractedly. I scanned the room. There he was! I saw him sitting at a table with a bunch of guys on the football team, though kind of off to the side. He didn’t really look like he was participating in the conversation. I guess he was still in a mood. If he’d seen me, he probably hadn’t wanted to come anywhere near me since I was sitting with Jessica.
“Do you mind if I keep working?” Jessica said, her editor in chief persona returning.
“Go ahead. Want me to look at anything?”
“Sure, if you’re up for it! Could you just check this for errors?” she said, beaming, and handed me the sports section. I started reading through it, but my mind was racing. Well, I wasn’t about to go over and plop myself in the middle of that group anyway. I think I just needed to let this one breathe. Everyone had insecurities. But I’d been obsessing over mine so much lately, between the Photoshopped picture of me, Michael saying he thought Allie would look good with short hair, and now my joking with him. Michael and I always joked around with each other. This was no different. I was tired of feeling insecure and worrying about every little thing. If he was upset by it, then he was responsible for dealing with his own feelings. So there. I had work to do.