Chapter 18

 

As he sat with Sophia on the couch listening to Abby read ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas, he wished the ache in his chest would subside. He supposed it would over time, and each day would be a little better than the previous one.

He’d lied to himself for so long saying he didn’t like kids. Of course, he’d always loved Megan like his own, but he immediately looked for reasons to dislike others. As he gazed over at Noah asleep with Phoenix on his chest, and Cohen standing, rocking his and Annis’ child, envy twisted within him. Both fathers literally held a part of themselves in their hands, something they’d created out of love. How he wanted that with Sophia. He couldn’t even imagine the pride of holding his own flesh and blood.

Cohen had once told him that their baby was the one thing he’d done really well in his lifetime. Although it hurt, Blake knew he’d never be able to say that. Instead, he’d have to focus being the best mate and father to the family he currently had, one he loved more than his own life.

Pulling Sophia closer, he kissed her forehead. They had decided to keep the pregnancy and loss to themselves. Even Alaina didn’t know, and she’d spent two full days with Sophia. The only one who had been privy to the information was Beverly, and he gazed over at her. She watched them both carefully and gave him a smile that conveyed her condolences and understanding.

He sipped his Sprite, wishing Sophia and he could disappear. It had become difficult to keep up the charade that everything was fine, that he didn’t have a problem in the world. The laughing, joking around, and pretending he felt happy had been exhausting.

As he watched Killian and Megan, their eyes glowing, smiles on their faces as they hung on to Abby’s every word, tears stung his eyes again, and he squeezed Sophia’s shoulder. Even with the loss, he had to remember to be grateful for his blessings.

Abby finished the story, and dinner came and went. It never failed to amaze him the sheer amount of food they consumed as he watched a turkey, a ham, a roast beef, and all the fixings disappear. Finally, it was time to get Megan to bed.

He held Sophia’s hand as the three of them took the elevator down to their floor. Megan still seemed riled up as she chatted about Santa and the cookies they’d left out for him.

Sophia helped her get undressed, and then the three of them laid down in Megan’s bed together, with Megan sandwiched in between him and Sophia.

They talked in soft whispers for a bit, then Megan said, “I’m the luckiest kid in the world.”

He grinned, thinking she would think that because she lived in such a nice house and Santa would be arriving soon.

Sophia glanced at him, then asked, “Why is that, honey?”

“Because I have you two. I have the most perfect family ever.”

As he reached for Sophia’s hand, her warm, glowing eyes shimmered, but she smiled. He looked at his girls, and love swelled so strongly in his heart, it seemed like the damn thing may burst.

Yes, they’d suffered a loss, but in the end, it was for the best. Each day would get easier, and he’d be able to come to terms with it, and his own self-doubt. He had his two girls who loved him, and if they asked, he’d figure out a way to bring down the moon for them.

Megan had been right. The three of them made the most perfect family, ever.