Eight

Rituals and Routine

It is easy during depression to decide to do nothing. The structure of life can fall away. Mindfully reestablishing routines can help order the day without it becoming overwhelming. With a set routine—in writing, if necessary—one need only focus on what’s next, which can make it easier at times. A routine that includes ritual injects some sacredness into activities at a time when thoughts of magic or gods are far from mind.

Thought requires effort and energy, both of which can be in short supply at this time. Automatic actions, such as driving home along a familiar route or brushing teeth, can be accomplished without much thought at all: start the process, and it will unfold even if you’re not paying attention to the details. New activities require a lot more attention, a lot more energy, than a familiar routine, which makes it more difficult to maintain during depression. The spirit of depression may try to break those habits with discouraging, negative self-talk, but stopping a rolling stone is not as easy as keeping a still one from moving in the first place.

When establishing new routines for myself, I find that infusing them with sacred context is helpful because thinking about gods and my role in their plans is very motivational for me. Others might not find it inspiring to dedicate cleaning the toilet to Cloacina, but establishing a personal routine of religious ritual and practice can be an important solace during periods of depression, even if you don’t mix the mundane in quite so much as I. A daily practice is easiest to maintain because it’s much harder to forget. Include it at the very beginning or end of your waking day to make it even easier.

Sometimes, all one can do is go through the motions. Treading water can mean the difference between life and death, and choosing life is my preference because I can only choose death the one time. For me, depression can result in time slipping away lying in bed or staring at a screen or listening to news reports while the world rolls on by. I have found it helpful to establish routines to ensure that I achieve a certain bare minimum each day even during difficult times. I also strongly recommend the use of rituals to help one find a path back to more balanced place.

In this context, I use the word “routine” to mean a behavior or set of behaviors that one performs regularly. Every day, I clean out the cat pans, refill the water bowl, and sweep up part of the house. After every meal, I brush and floss my teeth. Once a week, I take the recycling and garbage out. Two nights a week, I prepare dinner. These things all will get accomplished even if I were to experience depression as severe as it was for me in the early nineties, because I have established these routines. Routine can take time and effort to put into place, and I have used a combination of calendar reminders, strategically-placed sticky notes, and other cues to get them into my head. Muscle memory eventually takes over, especially for daily routines, and I find that not engaging in a given routine is more likely to catch my notice that actually performing it, once it’s established.

Routine can certainly have a downside. Obsessive-compulsive disorder can be an expression of routine taken too far. Much of the experience of depression is a negative use of repetitive, routine thoughts and behaviors, such as watching hour after hour of television or sitting alone and dwelling on your own shortcomings. The difference is in the intent. No one plans to live a life in depression, except perhaps for the spirit of depression itself.

Witches and others who practice magic should be prepared to apply intention to their routines. Take some time to examine existing routines to determine if they are adding quality or value to one’s life, and I’d wager that the ones that are not were either not created with intention, or that the intention and the routine have diverged since. It’s perfectly acceptable to lay down routines that do not “spark joy,” as Marie Kondo might say. If you feel that you are unable to lay down a routine despite wishing to, you may have more success with help from another person. Whether that person should be an acquaintance, a confidante, an authority figure, or a mental health professional will depend upon your circumstances.

Ritual is a collection of activities that might include gestures, words, and actions; when I refer to “ritual” I am referring to those activities used to further one’s religion, which for pagans might include honoring gods, communing with spirits, or working magic, among other things. Ritual can be routine in the sense that it can be done on a regular schedule, but it can also feel routine in the sense that it’s ordinary or pedestrian. This is something that can be hard to accept: Ritual will not always feel special, the gods do not always wish to break our heads open or even make their presence known, and at times it will not feel like there is any point to performing any kind of ritual. This can and does happen to every religious person at one time or another, even people who never experience depression, but it can feel especially harsh during a period of depression. I am here to tell you to do it anyway. If you’re a member of a coven that meets on the full moon, join them on the full moon. If you bake and hand out cookies for noumenia like me, keep on baking. If people come to you for magical assistance, go ahead and provide it. Others I have interviewed in these pages confirm that ritual has value even they aren’t feeling it because of depression. Courtney Weber said that she always feels better when she spends time at her altar, and Sarah W. affirms that returning to a spiritual practice always brings benefit. Weber and Ivo Dominguez, Jr. both confirm that one can perform magic as effectively as ever even if one can’t feel the flow of energy—provided that one has trained and practiced all along. Gods can and do withdraw from our lives for reasons of their own, but depression seems to make it easier to believe one has been abandoned entirely. In my own experience, I have come to recognize that my patron especially has never left me, and in fact was especially supportive in times when I believed I was completely alone. Sarah W. speaks in this book about how Dionysos is present whether or not depression is being experienced, and Joshua Tenpenny speaks about a relationship with Hela that largely exists only during periods of depression. In the Hellenic context, part of the purpose of ritual is simply to thank the gods for their very existence and to make offerings while expecting nothing in return; this can be compared to just sending a friend a card or a text message because you’re thinking of that person, rather than having an expectation of receiving something in return. Engage in ritual without expecting a miraculous intervention. You may get one anyway, but sometimes the work of the gods is less direct and overt than that. Ritual keeps the unseen as part of our community.

Ritual can be part of one’s routine. I make offerings every morning to several gods and spirits, before I even have coffee for myself (which is a pretty big deal considering my deep and enduring relationship with Caffeina). That kind of ritual can bring the comfort of familiarity as well as strengthening relationships and esoteric skills. Ritual that is less frequent also tends to be more complex, which can easily feel overwhelming when one is experiencing depression. Whether one is capable of organizing and facilitating a more complex ritual is a personal decision, but consider including getting input from other humans who might be involved, or from non-humans by means of divination. I won’t go deeply into divination here, but will say only that divination for oneself is dicey in the best of times, and during depression it should be done only with special caution, because the responses might end up reflecting back through depression rather than being answers sourced purely in spirit.

No matter what the ritual purpose, consider using an affirmation such as this before you begin:

I am a child of the gods, and the gods hear me
even if I do not know their answer. I am a child of the universe,
and the energy is within me even if I do not feel its release.”

Following are three rituals designed with depression in mind. The first is short and simple, something that can be performed every day. The other two are examples of more complex rituals, that draw upon Hellenic tradition.

EXERCISE

A Simple Depression Ritual

What you’ll need:

It is done.

EXERCISE

A Deipnon for Depression

Deipnon is a traditional Hellenic monthly feast for Hekate and the ancestors which takes place at the dark of the moon. It’s intended to draw off miasma, which one might think of as spiritual grime that accumulates simply by living in the same way that dust and dirt piles up in any living space.

Give this ritual a thorough read before deciding if you want to try it. You can hold this meal just with your gods and ancestors, but meals are meant to be shared and humans tend to eat more than ancestors. If other humans join you, split up the tasks ahead of time. If you’re the only human present, it’s okay to pare back anything that feels too complicated. If you have a set of depression divination coins, you can use these to ask whether you should retain or remove any particular element.

What you’ll need:

Altar Setup

Place this altar as low down as can be comfortably reached; the floor is not too low if kneeling or stooping down is not a problem. If you’ve set up a depression shrine, feel free to use that for this ritual.

Clean the space, at a minimum wiping away dust. Cover with a cloth if desired; you may choose a color that represents depression for you. I like bluish-black.

Add a white candle and a bowl of water that is suitable for purification in your tradition. A simple way to make khernips (the Hellenic lustral water) is to pour some clean water into a bowl, light a match, and extinguish it in the water. Another way is to add a pinch of salt to the clean water and ask Poseidon’s blessing. This is one prayer I use to purify with salt:

Poseidon, keeper of the vast seas,
I invoke your name of purity.
Katharsios, with salt I cast to thee
so mixed with water, khernips be.

Any other way you traditionally prepare water for purification or ablution will work just as well.

If you have created a depression totem, place it below or beside the altar you’ve prepared, unless you’re using a depression shrine; in that case, just leave it be.

Procession

In Hellenic practice, the pompe (procession) is an important part of any ritual. As someone who has also been a member of a Wiccan coven, I see some of its functions as overlapping with those of casting a circle—it aids with transition into sacred space, among other things. Unlike casting a circle, a procession doesn’t require one to already be able to focus when one begins. At the same time, moving the body is good for mood and bad for depression.

Therefore, begin the ritual with a procession, even if that means walking no farther than across the living room or around to the other side of the bed. If you can work out a longer route, make it so. My first Hellenic ritual was a torch-lit procession through acres of woods to make offerings at several permanent shrines. I was exhausted by the time it was over, but apparently those gods took notice and it’s been to my benefit. No matter the length of the procession, this is a time to get into the head-space of ritual and enter into hieri siopi, sacred silence, for the entire period. During Hellenic ritual stray words might be inadvertent omens, which is why participants are encouraged to “reserve your tongues for the holy” and avoid unnecessary chatter.

Purification

Conduct the archesthai (purification) of participants and altar at the end of the procession. If you’re using khernips, sprinkle some over the altar and each person with fingers or, if you want to get fancy, a bay or laurel branch with leaves still attached. If you’re using another method, follow best practices for that method.

Hearth-Blessing

In the tradition followed in Temenos Oikidios, Hestia is honored as goddess of the hearth in all rituals. To simplify things a bit, I’m suggesting a prayer that also invokes Hekate, as this is her feast.

Light the candle and say:

I bring my fire to the hearth of Hestia.
I ask that this candle be as revealing a light,
as that of torch-bearing Hekate
who searched for lost Persephone.

Place the candle and holder in the glass bowl, or affix it to the bottom. Make sure it’s stable, because you’re going to be walking around holding this.

Offerings

Deipnon is a time to dispose of the remains of old offerings, such as bits of matchsticks and incense, and as Sarah W. said in her interview, “I also give her intangible things I want to be rid of, like a feeling, that I also leave at a crossroads.” In this instance, you will be gathering items to leave at a crossroads, asking Hekate to dispose of them.

Take up the pieces of paper in your hands and think about the feelings and experiences that are weighing you down in depression. You may wish to write key words on the slips of paper, but that’s not necessary. What’s most important is to allow yourself to feel them, to acknowledge them and their power over you, and to ask Hekate, in any words you choose, to take them from you. Set these and any remains of old offerings in a bowl.

Add some of the deipnon bread or other food offering. First cut a piece for Hestia, and say, “With this cut, I begin the sacrifice,” setting it in the bowl. Put a full portion in for Hekate, saying this or other suitable words:

Mistress of the crossroads,
who walks unchallenged in all lands,
accept if you will this humble offering
and carry my burdens to where they will do no harm.

Take another portion, for the ancestors, and say:

Blood of my blood,
bone of my bone,
spirit of my spirit:
may you share my burdens
even as I share these offerings.

Libations

A libation is a liquid offering, usually one that humans can drink, but olive oil and the like may be used as well. Pour out libations first to Hestia, then Hekate, and finally to the ancestors. In the Hellenic tradition I follow, libations and food offerings to underworld deities and the dead are not shared with the living (and Hestia is an underworld deity in this context). If burning is the plan, use a second bowl unless you’re offering a flammable alcohol.

Cleansing of the Home

Take the prepared deipnon water and pour it into the glass bowl, into which you’ve already placed that lit candle. You’re going to be carrying this about, so keep in mind that you don’t want it sloshing over the edges or putting out the flame if you can help it. (If either of these occurs, do not take it as a bad omen; during depression people can be fatigued or clumsy, and things happen. Clean up, relight the candle, and pick up where you left off.)

Carry the bowl to every corner of the inside of your home or living space that you can reach, and visualize the light of the candle penetrating walls and floorboards as necessary to pierce any area of darkness you cannot. As you proceed, say this or similar words:

Away, away, shadows of the mind,
away, away, cobwebs of the soul.

Torch-bearing Hekate will walk with you and help collect the emotional baggage and triggers that have accumulated in your living space, the ones that reinforce and support depression. These will be collected and stored in the deipnon water.

Once the circuit is complete, return to the altar with the bowl. Snuff the candle and remove it. Add to this the remains of past offerings, and those emotional offerings that you collected on pieces of paper. Take this to the center of the nearest crossroads—two roads or paths that intersect at right angles—and dump the mess right in the middle. Turn around and immediately walk away, not looking back.

Feasting with the Gods

Upon your return, take some time to sit and eat with the gods, the ancestors, and whatever human and other companions are present. This is called theoxenia. Eat, drink, and strive to allow yourself to feel merry if you’re able. When the meal is concluded, pour a final libation to Hestia.

Dispose of the libations and food offerings outside if you are able, or by wrapping them in a paper towel to place in the garbage if you are not.

It is finished.

EXERCISE

Ritual Appeal to the Anemoi

The anemoi are gods of the wind in Hellenic mythology, who sometimes have emotions associated with them. This ritual is an appeal to the winds for aid in disrupting the obsessive self-reflection that can occur during a period of depression. If you wish to simplify this due to lack of support and spoons, read through it all first. Divination is a good way to find out what the gods will accept in this moment: Try asking about a component of the ritual and flipping the depression divination coins you gathered while making a depression shrine, or another three coins of your choosing. If all three come up heads then it’s a clear yes, three tails are a definite no, and two of either leaning either positive or negative.

Feel free to invite other humans to participate; it will give more hands to carry items to the altar during the procession.

Items needed for the full ritual:

Altar Setup

Items can be brought in during the procession, but not so much as to load any one person down. The animal crackers and fans should be part of the procession. Any items not in the procession should be arranged on the altar ahead of time. Trust your intuition or lay items out in a simple grid.

Procession

Approach the altar waving fans or other items to move the air. Burning incense might be included for the purposes of blowing it about. The longer a procession you can manage, the more you will be able to shift into the mindset of being in the presence of the gods for a sacred ritual.

Purification and Offering of Barley

Take three pinches of salt and place it in the water, invoking one of the names of Poseidon to purify it:

Poseidon, keeper of the vast seas,
I invoke your name of purity.
Katharsios, with salt I cast to thee
so mixed with water, khernips be.

Sprinkle some of this khernips on yourself and any other participants.

You and anyone else particiating takes a small amount of barley, stands before the altar, and says:

I [include name if you wish] stand humbly before the gods,
and offer this barley.

Put the barley in the offering bowl.

Turn your palms upward to greet these gods of the sky and read:

Holy anemoi, progeny of bright Eos and Astraios of the boundless night,
if we/I have ever poured a libation to you or done you service,
hear me/us now.

Frosty Boreas, matchless in strength and temper,
Zephyrus, who knows love and loss in good measure,
Fiery Notus, feared by farmers for good reason,
and all the winds named and unnamed,
accept these offerings to be made.

As the winds bring storms and calm,
do the anemoi roil the spirit in turn.
Holy gods, if you are willing,
allow calm thought and reason to pierce the clouds of the mind
of all gathered before this altar at this time.

Offerings and Libation

Select one of the animal crackers and cut off the back leg with a knife, saying:

With this cut, I begin the sacrifice.

Place it in the offering bowl and consume the rest of it. All participants should put crackers in the bowl, retaining one each for eating themselves.

Now pour some of the wine atop the other offerings—a libation —saying:

I have poured a libation to you, I am pouring a libation to you,
I will pour libations to you.

Other participants should also add a small libation.

Other Ritual Actions

Say:

Holy anemoi, we thank you for your presence and pray
for your guidance in clearing our minds of unwelcome thoughts.
Accept this whistling in your honor.

Now whistle a happy tune, as best you can, as you leave the ritual area by the same route you came. If you cannot whistle, use a breathy hum. Don’t worry about whether it’s in tune or not; it is the sincerity of the offering, not its perfection, that matters here.

JOURNAL EXERCISE

A Job Well Done

Select one of the rituals in this chapter. Set a timer for nine minutes.

In your journal, write about your selected ritual as if you have just performed it—and that it went very, very well. Focus on how good the ritual made you feel, from your heart skipping a beat in anticipation to the tingles on your scalp in the presence of a healing power. Include the ways that you always know deep down that the magic is working or the gods are near. If it helps, go through the entire ritual in your mind’s eye as you write, remembering that you’re describing a rite during which everything goes right.

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