I sat at Gina’s kitchen table and she poured two coffees from the cafetière. The house was strangely quiet.
‘Where is everyone?’
‘Laurie’s taken the kids to see his mother. They left just before you came. It’s weird, being here on my own. I can’t remember when that last happened.’
‘I don’t want to make you late for work.’
Gina looked at the clock on the wall: it was twenty past eight. ‘I have half an hour before I need to leave. It’s OK to be late once in a while.’ She picked up her coffee, took a sip, sighed luxuriously. ‘Isn’t it good that it’s just the two of us, sitting at the table. Sometimes I have a moment on my way to work, or when Jake and Nellie have gone to sleep, when I look back at us before all this happened. Maybe we forget what it’s like just being friends, hanging out.’
‘That’s true.’ I felt like a spy in my own life. Now I was being dishonest to my best friend. ‘I was thinking. Sometimes I wonder if I should get a dog. It might be nice for Poppy. What do you think?’
Gina’s expression turned to alarm. ‘I’d think about it very carefully. People say it’s like getting a new child. You can never just go away and leave it. Approach the idea with caution. And what about Sunny – I don’t think he’d take very kindly to a dog in the house.’
‘So you wouldn’t get one?’
‘Christ, no. It’s as much as I can do to cope with two children – even though it’s mostly Laurie who does the day-to-day coping. The thought of coming home in the evening and having to take a dog out for a walk is too much. And then picking up their poo. And the way they smell when they’re wet. And that thing when they put their dribbly snouts on your lap.’
I laughed.
‘No, seriously. And leave hairs everywhere. And yap.’
‘I get the picture. You’re not a dog person.’
‘I might let Jake have a hamster or something.’
‘Laurie likes dogs though, doesn’t he?’
‘Laurie? Does he?’
‘He told me he sometimes takes his mother’s dog for a walk.’
‘If you can call that little rat a dog. I guess he likes dogs more than me, anyway. Actually, if he had his way, we’d be living in the countryside surrounded by mud and with hens and goats and stuff. Fatherhood’s gone to his head.’ She grinned. ‘He says that whenever he goes out with Winston – that’s his mother’s dog – he gets into more conversations with people than in all his years of going to London parks put together.’
‘So where does he walk him?’ I hated myself as I asked these questions.
‘Where? I don’t know. She lives in Kensal Rise so maybe he goes to the cemetery. He does love a good cemetery. But then, Winston is a small dog and I think he only needs small walks. Twice a day, mind.’
‘Does his mother ever hire a dog walker?’
Gina laughed. ‘What is this? Are you working for the RSPCA?’
‘I just wonder what people do about their dogs when they go away.’
‘The answer is, I don’t know. Now then, enough of the dog interrogation, all right? Tell me how it is without Poppy.’
‘Strange. Very quiet. I miss her. I’ve talked to her several times a day and she seems cheerful. Though last night she had night terrors, and my mother says she isn’t really eating much.’
‘I’m sure she’ll be fine. And at least you and Aidan can spend time together, just the two of you. That must be nice.’
‘That was the original plan.’
Gina turned an enquiring glance on me.
‘We broke up.’ I tried to smile, but my mouth quivered and I turned away.
‘No! Tess, darling, what happened? You seemed so happy together. When did it happen?’
‘A few days ago.’
‘Was it you?’
‘It was the wrong time. But now I wonder why I did it.’
‘It’s not too late,’ said Gina.
‘Oh, I don’t know. Everything’s a mess.’
‘If you think you made a mistake, tell him.’
‘I can’t. The reasons I ended it haven’t changed. It’s just that I miss him and I feel a bit crap about everything. This is the dangerous period, when it’s all fresh. When it came to it, I just wasn’t ready. We met at the wrong time. I thought I was doing so well, but I’m not really, Gina. And more to the point, nor is Poppy.’
I looked at Gina’s solicitous expression and felt a stab of guilt. Here I was, harbouring sinister suspicions about her husband and at the same time opening my heart, confiding in her, wanting her comfort.
‘Oh dear, oh dear,’ said Gina. ‘I’m so sorry, Tess.’
‘Me too. Oh God, look at the time.’
‘Sod the time. Let’s have another coffee and you can tell me properly.’
‘I can’t.’ I stood up. ‘I’ve got to catch a train. I’m off to Chelmsford.’
‘Chelmsford? What’s in Chelmsford?’
‘A friend of a friend.’