Mary set her alarm early for Christmas morning, knowing it’d take a couple of hits on the snooze button before she could drag herself out of bed.
At the first ringing, she rolled over, and heard Grant groan.
“It can wait,” Mary whispered, her voice still thick with sleep.
He pulled her against his chest. “Merry Christmas, darlin’. I’ll start coffee.”
The kitchen buzzed with laugher and conversation by the time Mary pulled on her robe and shuffled down the hallway. Mornings were the worst. Every part of her body ached and creaked. She leaned heavily on the cane. Grant stepped forward with a steaming mug as soon as he saw her.
“Thanks, hon.” She braced herself against the granite island.
“Last one up,” Annie teased.
“Did I miss Christmas?” Mary asked.
“Nah. We saved a little for you,” Jason told her. He ran a hand along her shoulders. “Merry Christmas, Mom. How you feeling?”
Mary set down the mug and grabbed his hand. “Happy,” she told him. And so fortunate to have all the people she loved the most together under one roof. “Very happy.” She tried to catch Sara’s eye but failed amid the chorus of “awwws” and “Merry Christmases” that broke out.
Sara hadn’t communicated any change in plans to Mary, so the “big news” was waiting. “Should we get this party started?” she asked, hoping she didn’t sound as nervous as she felt. Even though she had to put on a neutral front, she hoped seeing the baby items and feeling the support of the entire family would have a positive effect on Sara. Going this alone so far had to contribute to her indecision and fears. The family’s support should bolster her confidence.
Annie tugged on Blake’s arm and started toward the family room with everyone else tagging behind.
“Jason, cue the Christmas music, please, but keep it kind of low,” Mary said.
“What is that?” Annie pointed to the fireplace and cast a puzzled look at Mary.
Mary knew immediately that Annie had spotted the adorable pink stocking hanging among all the others. Two days ago, Mary would’ve been grinning, jumping up and down, figuratively, at least. But now, faced with the possibility of losing her first grandchild, she could hardly muster a smile. She looked at Sara then back to Annie. “It’s an announcement.”
“And a gender reveal,” Sara said softly.
“What? For who?” Annie put a hand on her hips and stared at Sara. When realization dawned, the hand went to her chest. “Oh, my God. Are you pregnant?”
“I am. Due around mid-May.”
Mary’s heart sank when Annie looked around the room, hurt in her eyes, and no smile on her face.
“Wow. All these secrets. Anything else? Jason, what about you? Leaving the country? Joining a monastery? Getting married?” Annie’s voice pitched up.
Jason spread his hands. “I got nothing, Sis.”
“Annie,” Mary said softly. Maybe this hadn’t been the best idea. Well, good idea, bad timing. She hadn’t expected Annie to have hurt feelings.
“It’s not a conspiracy against you,” Sara said. “I wanted to wait. I’m still deciding what to do.”
“What does that mean?”
Sara flashed a glance at Mary before answering. “I’m considering adoption.”
Annie’s mouth fell open again. “Giving up the baby? But, why?”
“Lots of reasons.” Sara looked away, clearly not wanting to get into that conversation.
Mary figured she was going to have to step in and manage the situation before Christmas morning completely derailed. But Annie spoke up first.
“So, you’re not with the dad? Is it Todd?”
“It doesn’t matter,” Sara told her. “Anyway, I’m seeing someone else.”
Annie shook her head. “Wow,” she said again. “I feel like I walked into the wrong house – or a soap opera. Did you meet this someone else in Dallas, or is he the reason you broke up with Todd?”
“Neither,” Sara said, without further enlightenment.
Annie set her mug on the coffee table and dropped onto the sofa beside Blake, still shaking her head.
Sara stood and reached for Mary’s cup. “I need a refill. You, too?”
“That would be lovely, thanks. But why don’t you go ahead and bring the pot?”
When Sara was out of hearing distance, Mary turned toward her eldest daughter. “Annie, let’s try to be supportive, okay? Sarie’s got a tough decision to make that will affect her life forever.”
“I don’t understand, Mom. You’re okay with her giving away your granddaughter?”
The words stung like a slap in the face. Absolutely not, Mary wanted to scream. She let out a heavy sigh. “I can give her information and help her see the pros and cons, but it’s not my decision,” she said. It was good to keep reminding herself, so if that happened, she’d be prepared. Or at least not fall apart completely.
Sara returned with the coffee carafe and offered refills all around in an uncomfortable silence.
Mary turned to Jason. “Who wants presents? Jason, do you want to do the honors?”
“Sure.”
“Don’t you want to do stockings first?” Annie asked.
Oh, right. That was the usual order of things. Mary gave a sharp clap of her hands. “Yes. Why don’t you hand them out? But take a picture first.”
“But don’t you dare post anything on Facebook!” Sara hollered from the kitchen. “My news stays in this room only. No exceptions.”
Grant suddenly perked up and lifted the camera from the table. “Let me get some before everything’s ripped to pieces.”
Mary smiled. The frenzy didn’t take long.
Sara returned and glared around the room, her eyes resting on Annie. “I mean it.”
“Let’s get the girls,” Mary said.
Annie and Sara dutifully flanked her and, hopefully, smiled. Grant snapped a shot, then several more of the kids in every possible combination.
Then Annie reached for the pink stocking and held it out to Sara. “I guess this is for you.”
Mary had filled and hung the pink stocking after everyone else had taken turns dropping surprises into the others last night. With a lump in her throat, she watched Sara take the baby’s gifts from “Santa.”
“I’d already bought these things before I knew you were having second thoughts,” Mary said, her voice barely above a whisper.
Sara nodded. “I know.”
Normally, this was the time everyone would turn their attention to the goodies inside their own stocking, but all eyes were on Sara as she began pulling out tiny baby items. There were darling baby booties, a pink pacifier, a headband with a flower bow, a teething toy and various other small things – all girlie and every shade of pink.
“I had a lot of fun,” she told Sara. “And no matter what you decide, the baby will need these things.” She’d seen so many cute things at the local drug store that she’d wanted to pick up but knew there was no way of being discreet about it. She’d had to settle for online shopping and rush delivery, instead.
“Oh, that’s adorable,” Annie cooed when Sara picked up the headband.
“It’s very sweet, Mom,” Sara said. “Thank you.”
“Do you really think you can give up your little girl?” Annie asked.
Mary’s heart stopped.
Sara ran her fingers across the baby girl sweetness in her lap, touching the soft fabrics and ribbons. A moment later, she scooped them up and left them in the chair as she vacated it. “I don’t know.” Her voice broke as she turned away.
“Sara, wait.” Damn this foot. No way could Mary right herself, get the cane and get to Sara before she ran out of the room.
But Grant was amazingly fast and had been paying attention. He stepped in front of Sara and pulled her into his arms. Her muffled sobs into his chest were the only sound in the room.
When Mary managed a glance at Annie, her face was stricken.
“I’m sorry. I just– I didn’t know she couldn’t talk about it.”
“It’s all right,” Mary told her. Annie’s question may have been on the insensitive side, but Sara was going to have to deal with the tough questions.
“I wish I knew how to help her make the decision,” Mary said, her voice hushed.
“Do you know anything about this new guy?”
“I do, but it’s not my place to share.”
Annie’s eyes widened. “Oh, nice. Another secret?”
Damn. Mary hadn’t thought about how that would sound before she answered. She wasn’t getting anything right. At the rate it was going, this Christmas would go down as the worst ever.
She caught Grant’s eye as he rejoined them, and Sara slipped quietly up the stairs. Probably needed time to regroup. But how long? Should they wait? Was she expecting Mary to follow her?
“Need anything?” Grant asked.
Mary heard the weariness in his voice. It’d been a tough couple of months, and his least favorite thing was drama. She held out her bum hand. “I’m good, love.” She forced a smile.
He leaned down and gave her a firm, quick kiss. “Want to put this on hold?”
“How about rewind?”
“Good idea. You got an app for that?”
Wishful thinking. She glanced around the group. Not the festive morning she was accustomed to by a long shot. Even the tower of gifts that Jason had been stacking at each person’s seat seemed lackluster.
Mary drew in a deep breath. “Why don’t you all get started? Maybe we can–”
“Mom, wait,” Annie broke in. “I’m sorry. Why don’t we take a time out? Let me go up and talk to Sara. It’s not right to start without her.”
Quick tears burned Mary’s eyes, and she nodded. “That would be nice.” They had all day, all night, if needed.
* * *
“Hey, you okay?”
Sara picked at her comforter as Annie walked into the room. Had she come on her own, or at her mother’s request? “I’m fine.”
Annie sank onto the bed. “Hey. I’m sorry I upset you.”
“Not your fault.”
“Wow. I can’t believe you’re pregnant. And you ditched Todd.”
Sara gave her a wry smile. “Wasn’t exactly like that. Turns out he’s married.”
Annie sprang off the bed as though she’d been goosed. “What?!”
With a heavy sigh, Sara gave her the condensed version of the story.
“Oh, my gosh. That rat bastard.”
Nodding, Sara looked away. She didn’t miss him, but the truth of it still stung. “Pretty much.”
Annie moved in close and wrapped her arms around Sara. “Well, screw him.”
“Uh, yeah, that turned out to be a problem.”
Annie covered her mouth with her hand, but Sara could see the laughter in her eyes. And then her shoulders began shaking. Then they were both laughing uncontrollably and rolling into each other on the bed.
When they finally sobered, Annie rolled off the bed and stared at Sara. “Do Mom and Dad know all this?”
“Yep.”
“Wow,” she said again. “How’d Dad take it?”
“As you would think. Support with a dose of disappointment.”
“Right. Well, he’ll get over it. In fact, looks to me like he already has.” She sat next to Sara again and put a big-sister arm around her shoulder. “Look, it’s your decision, but I’d love to be an auntie. Think how much fun we’d have. Next year, we could all be sitting around watching an adorable little girl opening her Christmas presents and sticking bows on her head.”
“I know. I want kids. This just wasn’t what I’d planned, and now there’s Evan.”
“What do you mean?” She jumped up again, her mouth gaping. “No way. Are you serious? Evan is the new guy? Not just an old friend?”
Sara couldn’t help laughing at Annie’s reaction. To her, Evan was still just the corny kid next door. “He’s still a friend. But a little bit more.”
“He did turn out to be kind of a hunk, didn’t he? I hardly recognized him at the wedding.”
She flopped onto the bed again, her face inches from Sara’s. “Don’t make your decision based on any of these guys. Personally, I think I’d go crazy always wondering where she was, if she was happy, what she looked like. And you know if you give her up, she’ll track you down one of these days and want to know you.”
She paused and took Sara’s hand. “Besides, you’ll be an awesome mom.”
By Thursday, the house was quiet. Sara was the only one left, and she enjoyed the solitude and slower pace. Her dad was taking Jason to the airport in Kansas City, and her mother was sleeping in – her new norm even without the craziness of Christmas.
Sara made decaf coffee then wandered into the family room with her mug to curl up in front of the Christmas tree. She gasped when she saw her baby album on top of the coffee table. Sara whirled around as if to find her mother or some explanation. What the heck? Did her mother leave this for her to find, or had she been leafing through it? Either one begged the question of why. Thinking about a grandbaby? Advocating for one, trying to influence Sara?
Setting her mug on the table, Sara slowly sank onto a chair and pulled the album onto her lap. She hadn’t turned more than three pages before tears welled in her eyes. That she was loved and happy couldn’t be questioned. The evidence was there in every photo, every smile, in her mother’s eyes. No doubt this is what her mother had wanted Sara to see. Yes, the cuddling and playing was adorable, but the photos didn’t show the other side – the dark side – the round-the-clock feedings, crying fits and sleepless nights.
The sound of her mother’s cane against the floor snapped Sara’s head around. That was a sound she’d never get used to. She stood quickly. “Morning, Mom. I made coffee, but it’s not your kind. Let me start a fresh pot for you. I wasn’t sure when you’d be up.”
“No, honey, this is fine. What are you–” Her eyes strayed to the album. “Oh.” She moved in close, resting her head against Sara’s. “You’re not mad, are you?”
“No, Mom. It’s okay.”
Her mother smiled. “Good. I love looking at those pictures.”
Coffee in hand, they headed back to the family room, but when Sara started to resume her place in the chair, her mother patted the cushion beside her on the couch.
“Sit over here by me.”
Sara curled up, facing her mom.
“So, here’s the deal, toots, I think you’re over-thinking this. You’re pregnant. You’re going to have a baby. Those are the facts. I feel like you went off to Dallas and haven’t had a chance to be excited because you haven’t told anyone. You haven’t let yourself get excited about it.” She leaned in close. “A baby is a happy thing. Look at Annie. She was surprised at first, but now she’d love to be your little girl’s auntie.”
It was true. After her Christmas morning blow-up, Annie had spent the rest of the day being sweet and sympathetic and encouraging. Now she was on Mom’s team of lobbyists. “Just call me Aunt Annie,” she’d whispered in Sara’s ear Monday morning before heading home.
“It’s okay if you aren’t ready to make a decision,” her mother said. “You’ve got some time. Don’t rush into something you aren’t sure of.”
Sara let out a long sigh. “It wouldn’t be as big an issue if I had a job. But that’s kind of a problem.”
“You know we’ll help out.”
“I won’t come crawling home pregnant with no means of supporting myself, Mom. That’s– that’s humiliating. It’s not who I am.”
“Shhh. I understand. But there are no rules on this. Nothing says you can’t take some time off, have the baby and then go back to work.”
Sara sipped her coffee and relaxed against her mother’s arm. “We’ll see.” She glanced over. “No pressure, right?”
“Absolutely not. Can I change the subject?”
Sara arched her brows. “To?”
“Evan Gerard.”
Sara rolled her eyes, but it took only the mention of him to make her smile.
“Did you tell him?”
“No. Since he left early because of the storm, I never had a chance.”
“Sure didn’t take long for that to develop.”
“I know. Honestly, Mom I’m as surprised as you are. But I feel like we…we click. We have fun together, and he’s cool. It’s comfortable between us whether we’re going out or doing nothing. He’s thoughtful and smart. We have the same ideas and opinions on things.” She met her mother’s eyes. “He seems like someone I can trust.”
“Wow. Those are all excellent qualities. Does he make your heart go pitter patter?”
Sara’s grin returned as a deep flush spread over her. Could she really tell her mother that his steel blue eyes took her breath away, that a little rush of heat shot up her spine every time he kissed her, and when he pressed against her…well, just thinking about it sent her pulse skyrocketing. “Yeah,” she said, finally. “Yeah, he does.”
Her mother laughed and pulled her into a hug. “That’s all I need to know. So, remember, you aren’t a worrier, right? Everything will work itself out.”