Mary opened her eyes. And blinked. Twice. Was she still dreaming, or was her best friend sitting not three feet away from her with a silly smirk on her face?
“Hey, stranger,” Claire said, confirming her presence. “It’s about time you came around. Watching you sleep has been a blast, but I’m ready for the next act.”
Mary pushed herself upright and ran a hand through her hair knowing she must look like something out of The Walking Dead. “What are you doing here?” she croaked.
Claire leaned forward and took her hand. “Do you happen to remember a little conversation we had a while back when I said you weren’t doing this sick thing without me? Did you think I was kidding?” Her gruff tone matched the concern clouding her eyes. “Well, I wasn’t.”
Mary’s lips trembled, and she was immediately pulled into Claire’s arms. The tears came swift and hard. Half laughing, half crying, Mary clung to Claire like a woman drowning. It was a long few minutes before Claire pulled back and handed Mary a wad of tissues.
Mary pressed them to her face. “I’m sure I blubbered all over you,” she said.
Claire shrugged. “I’m completely wash and wear.” She ran a hand up Mary’s arm. “Let’s talk.”
A thousand thoughts raced through Mary’s mind in about a second. Of course, Claire was here because she’d already heard the news. Drawing in a shuddering breath, Mary met Claire’s eyes again. “Let me guess. You’ve talked to Grant.”
Claire bit her lip, nodding. “I did. He called me. Now don’t get mad at him for doing the right thing. He’s worried.”
“I know,” Mary told her. “I’m not mad. I’m–” She searched for the rights words, unsure which emotion was the strongest at the moment. “I guess I’m stunned. And heartbroken. I want to see my kids get married, and I want to know my grandkids. I just can’t believe it’s real. Sometimes when I think about it, I have anxiety attacks. I can hardly breathe.”
It was the first time she’d mentioned the panic attacks. Now that she’d started, she couldn’t seem to stop talking. She could always spill her guts to Claire. Mary’s voice broke as she slammed a fist into the palm of her other hand. “It’s so frustrating. I want to go places and do things. I want to make the most of whatever time I have. You know me, I’m used to juggling and running and–”
“Yes, I’m familiar with your Wonder Woman syndrome.”
Mary gave a snort. “Looks like that bitch left me high and dry. I feel so tired and foggy I can hardly get out of bed and get myself dressed.” She blinked back the tears that welled again. “Damn it, I missed lunch with Annie yesterday.” Her voice pitched higher as she filled Claire in on the details of the past few days.
“When’s your next doctor’s appointment?”
“I see my regular doctor next week. We’ll assess the medication. We can change the dosage, or I can switch to an IV instead of a pill, but honestly–” she met Claire’s eyes, and took a deep breath. “This is it. This is the only medicine there is, and it’s not always effective.”
Claire pushed up from the bed and began to pace the room. “Okay, look. It’s the middle of winter. It’s cold and crummy, so this is the perfect time to get the medication figured out and take a break. Lighten up. Don’t be so hard on yourself. You don’t have to do anything. This is your chance to try out hibernation.”
She stopped and shot Mary a pointed look. “Seriously, think about how much you’d be complaining if you had to get out in the cold and snow, right? So relax. Listen to some music or books on CD. Let Grant wait on you. Look at this way – you can opt out of winter. Think how many people would kill to do that.”
Mary couldn’t help but chuckle. “True that.” Somehow, Claire managed to put things in perspective, or at least offer a different view. “Audio books are a good idea,” Mary agreed. Why hadn’t she thought of that? “I can’t read more than a few minutes at a time. My brain turns to mush, and I zone out.”
“So zone out. Doesn’t matter. What’s the next read for book club?”
Mary rubbed her temples. “Hmm. Not sure.”
“Never mind. I’ll look it up. I’m still getting the emails.”
While she did that, Mary took a minute to count her blessings. Claire was good for her. Mary had always imagined them as crazy old ladies, still best friends, causing trouble with their nursing home antics. Maybe they wouldn’t get to that point, but she refused to be angry and bitter. They’d had so many good times – thirty-some years of watching each other’s backs. Each additional day was a gift. Same went for Grant, and her kids. She wanted more. She desperately wanted more, but the truth was, she was a lucky woman. Whether she had two more years or twenty, or more, her life was so full.
“I’ve got this,” Claire said, interrupting Mary’s thoughts. “Let’s order several. Some funny ones, too.”
“Yes, please,” Mary said.
Thirty minutes later, they’d ordered six books. It might take her a year to get through them, but at least it felt like she was doing something proactive. Maybe she’d even make it to a book club meeting. “That was fun,” Mary said.
“Oh, hey, I have some magazines for you, and…” Claire lifted a canvas bag. “Chocolate, of course.”
“You’re talking my language,” Mary told her. “That’s–” She broke off at the sound of her phone buzzing and lifted the pillow beside her. “Where the heck did I leave my phone? Oh, who cares? I don’t want to talk to anyone, anyway.”
“Here. It’s on your dresser. Want me to get it?”
Mary waved her off, but Claire picked up the phone.
“It’s Dana.”
“Oh, she must be home. Yes, yes. Answer!”
“Why, hello, Mrs. Donovan. How’s life?”
With a grin on her face, Mary listened to Claire’s side of the conversation.
“Just down for a visit. Yes, she is. Sure thing.” Claire held the phone away from her face. “Hey, can Dana come over and play, too?”
“Absolutely. And tell her to step on it. I want to hear all about Hawaii and the wedding.” Unfortunately, there was more than Dana’s wedding to talk about. Mary was sure Dana didn’t know the results of the Mayo visit, but she might know that her son was backing away from the romantic relationship that had been blooming with Sara. And she might know why.
* * *
Mary considered getting out of bed and getting dressed. It’d be the proper thing to do. But proper had gone the way of normal and pretty much ceased to exist. “I should probably get up,” she said, anyway.
“For what?” Claire asked. “Dana’s seen your bedroom before.”
“Food,” Mary said, remembering she hadn’t eaten breakfast. “I should at least get some sustenance for us if it’s going to be a pajama party.”
“Well, hey, I happen to know the guy who runs the joint, and he says there’s a cheese and cracker tray ready to go, and some fresh fruit. I’ll just run down and get that. What do you want to drink?”
Mary shook her head. “This must be a dream. You’re waiting on me?”
“Haha.” Claire tipped an imaginary hat. “As you wish,” she said, quoting a favorite line from The Princess Bride. “Just don’t get used to it.”
“Right. I’ll have coffee if it’s made. Otherwise, tea will work. With caffeine.”
As Claire retreated from the room, Mary remembered a time not long ago when their roles had been reversed, when she’d feared for Claire’s life as she struggled through grief, depression, and alcoholism. Mary, along with Claire’s daughter, had been there to hold her up and help her get back on solid ground. A new worry crashed in. How strong was Claire now? How would she deal with Mary’s absence? Could it send her spiraling into a relapse? Oh, how Mary didn’t want to be responsible for that. She wanted to be around to see her friend thrive in her new life and newfound freedom. And, yes, to push her when necessary. That’s what friends were for.
And then she remembered how her friend happened to be at her bedside. Today’s turn of events had started with her amazing husband. She picked up the phone and sent Grant a text. Thanks, love. I needed this. XOXO
Mary closed her eyes and let her head fall back against the pillow. She had to take advantage of every opportunity to recharge. Hopefully some food and caffeine would help, too.
It seemed only a second had passed when Claire announced her re-entry. Mary’s eyes fluttered open as Claire placed a steaming mug on the bedside table.
“Here you go, your Highness.” She jerked her head. “Found this one loitering in the hallway, so I put her to work.”
Mary’s gaze strayed past Claire to find Dana also carrying a tray. Mary pushed herself upright again and held her hand out to Dana. “Just put that on the bed. Wow. Look at you. You look fantastic.”
Dana’s face was tanned, and lovely as ever, but her eyes conveyed her shock. Claire had apparently spilled the beans. Dana ditched the tray and pulled Mary into a tight squeeze. “Oh, Mare.”
Mary clung to Dana, and tears welled again. “I am so, so sorry,” Dana said, her words muffled against Mary’s hair. She pulled back, and watery eyes met Mary’s. “I can’t believe it. This can’t be right.”
Mary heaved a deep, shaky sigh, unsure whether she was speaking to Dana-the-friend or Dana-the-nurse. “Well, I’ve been poked and tested and bled dry for two months now. And that’s what they say.”
Dana’s face pressed closer, her eyes wide. “Tell me everything. What exactly are they saying?”
Ah. The nurse. Mary shook her head. “Not now. Really. My head is spinning, and my heart hurts. Can we not go there right now?” She refused to indulge in or subject her friends to a pity party. What she needed was a distraction from the doctor’s words beating inside her brain.
Claire’s arm and a plate came between them. “Here. You need food. You need to get some strength back because we are fighting this.”
Mary offered a shallow smile and took the plate. She wasn’t sure how much she could get down, but at least looking at it didn’t turn her stomach.
“That’s right,” Dana chimed in. “Go for the protein and carbs. The more, the better.”
Reaching for a chunk of cheese, Mary nodded. “Thanks, team. Listen, if I doze off between bites, talk among yourselves until I come-to.”
The company definitely improved her appetite, and a social occasion made nibbling much more pleasant. Once Mary felt as though she could follow a conversation, she nudged Dana. “You. Start talking. I want to hear all about the wedding.”
Dana’s eyes suddenly sparkled like the diamond solitaire on her finger. “It was perfect. Absolutely magical. I couldn’t have asked for anything better.”
For the next twenty minutes, Mary listened to the lilt of happiness in her friend’s voice as much as the details of the trip. That’s what mattered most.
“So, no travel snafus?” Claire asked. “All the kids get back to their places all right?”
And with a thud, reality hit. Mary’s glance met Dana’s in the same instant. Evan. The silent question hung between them for a moment until Mary found her voice. “Did you have a chance to talk to Evan?”
Dana took a sip from her mug then slowly nodded. “I did. He told me about…about Sara.” Brows raised, Dana’s eyes darted toward Claire.
“It’s okay. She knows,” Mary said. “How’s Evan doing? What did he say?”
“Well. It wasn’t a long conversation. He’s surprised, of course. And I have to admit it caught me off guard, so I don’t know if I said anything helpful or intelligent.”
“Was he asking your advice?”
“Not really. Said he just thought I should know.”
Her voice trailed off, and Mary waited for more, hoping to get some insight on Evan’s intentions. When no more information came, she leaned forward, blurting out the question that weighed heavily on her heart. “Do you think he still wants a relationship with her?”
Dana’s face twisted. “Oh, Mare. I don’t know. I think he truly loves her. But he’s hurt. Evan has always been my rule-follower, the one who wants to do things the right way. It’s not that he couldn’t love a baby. He’s good with kids, but…”
“But?” Mary prodded.
“I think he has some doubts.”
“Doubts?” Mary echoed. “About what?” She could see Dana’s deep intake of breath before she spoke again.
“Whether their relationship was partly her wanting to find a dad for her baby.”
Mary let that digest. She could see how that would be a man’s initial reaction. But Evan – and Dana – knew Sara. Knew her character. Knew she wasn’t dishonest or devious. Still, there were those years of distance. And they left plenty of room for doubt, she supposed. She, too, took a deep breath. They had to get through this with everyone’s feelings and respect intact.
“Listen, I’m not criticizing Evan. That reaction is understandable, but I can tell you the baby had nothing to do with it. Sara agonized over telling him about the baby. Her real fear was that it would ruin what was developing between the two of them. I also know that she made the decision to keep the baby fully expecting to be a single mother. You, in fact, are her role model.”
When Dana shot her a ‘yeah, right’ look, Mary stared at her. “You don’t believe me?”
Dana turned away. After a moment of silence, she looked back at Mary with a soft smile, and a shrug. “I’ve made some mistakes.”
“So, you married the wrong guy. Personally, I’m glad Sara’s not doing that. But everything else? Hell, you’re an excellent role model. You’ve raised three terrific kids on your own. You’re a success in your career. You’re creative, and generous. You care about people–”
Dana put up a hand. “All right, already. You’ll have this going to my head and bust my halo.”
Mary squeezed Dana’s arm. “Hey, whatever happens, we’re not letting this come between us.”
“Of course not,” Dana agreed, shaking her head. “We can’t interfere, either. We’ll just have to wait and see what happens with Evan and Sara. And you know what? It’s been ages since I had a knitting project. My fingers are itching to do something, and I think some baby blankets and booties are just the thing.”
Mary’s lips trembled as tears threatened again. “Thank you,” she whispered.
“For what?”
“For understanding and not judging her. For not being angry.”
Claire, who’d been silent but listening, stepped forward. “They’ll work it out,” she said. “It’s out of your control, and you don’t need another thing to worry about.”
“Group hug,” Dana said, moving closer. “Claire’s right. You just need to focus on your health.”
“And that baby,” Claire added. “Think about that sweet baby, and how much fun you’re going to have being grandmamma.”
“That’s right, Mare,” Dana said.
Mary choked back a sob as her friends surrounded her. “She’s going to bring so much love and be loved by all of us.”
Gratitude swelled inside Mary, and she knew without a doubt that whatever happened, her daughter would not be alone, and her granddaughter would have the love and support of these incredible surrogate grannies.