Feast

Now come, the last that I can recognize,
pain, utter pain, fierce in the body’s texture.
As once in the mind I burned, so now I burn
in you; the wood resisted, long denied…

– Rilke        

A child in winter under the sickle

moon one moment is bright with play, in love

with candy, lips and fingers Smartie red

(she likes red best), cartwheels on black branches,

oak branches written by wind and street lamp

on the hardwood floor, next moment’s surprised

by a cloud that mixes moon with sweetness,

cartwheel with voices from the kitchen, Mum

and Auntie, who discuss olives and lies.

Now come, the last that I can recognize,

old mountain beacon that holds fast sun’s light,

tell us a story, tell us a tale, bring

news of wealth, gold, the latest adventures

of heros adrift far from shore, no wind,

oarless, trying to get home by dreams of

red cows full of milk in such green pasture

focaccia, arugula, lettuce,

balsamic vinegar and oil, white plates,

rectory table, subtract from pleasure

pain, utter pain, fierce in the body’s texture.

That moon, that child, divide heaven’s promise

between them; the good food turns grey when day’s

hue is absorbed, and streets, hedges, palings,

all turn grey. Then mortal families gather,

women’s lies no stronger than lies of men,

too flushed to sit down, while the children learn

there’s slippage, a hole in the sky, the skin,

some wrong thing among us that burns and burns

the way wine, dark red, dries the throat and burns.

As once in the mind I burned, so now I burn

to heal this hurt child, light new white candles,

start the feast. She tells us she’s dizzy, can’t

stand the noise. All lies cease, laughter bows out.

When a child sickens in January, spring

breaches. A branch taps the window. She runs

in circles. With no one sober we hide

our fear and call a cab. Again the rush

of sudden fog: I’m in my first forest,

mouth zeroed. O trees, I want to confide

in you; the wood resisted, long denied…