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I ROLL OVER, THE MORNING light streaming through the lace curtains. It takes a moment to realize where I am and what I’m doing there. Especially when I move again and muscles I didn’t know I had twinge.
Oh, yeah.
I’m not a virgin anymore.
I was well and truly fucked last night.
For the first time in a long time, I accomplished what I set out to do—have a fling that I’ll always remember. It would be nice if I’d succeeded at something else, too, but I’ll take this for now.
And boy, oh boy, will I always remember having sex with Dusty Cassidy, the hung cowboy.
I wince a little when I move out of bed. Dusty’s long gone. I remember him kissing my bare shoulder when he left me before dawn.
I’m not sure what happens next since I’m new at flinging. I’m on board for a week-long tryst if he’s up for it. The trick will be not falling for him because everything about him is ovary-exploding. His big, burly body, the way he kisses, his perfect manners, his dedication to his business, the way he looks me right in the eyes and makes me feel special. Seen.
He’s totally the kind of guy you bring home to meet the parents, but that will never happen.
But a fling would be awesome.
Charlotte has a big, country breakfast ready for me when I get downstairs.
“What are your plans today, Ruby?” she asks, topping off my coffee.
“I don’t know.”
“It’s perfect weather for horseback riding. You should find Dusty and have him get you set up.”
“Oh, I don’t know...” ...how to ride a horse. “I don’t want to bother him. He seems busy.”
“It would be good for him to take a break. I’ll even pack you a picnic.”
Charlotte is not subtle. “What are your plans, Charlotte?”
“In between lunch and supper, I need to try and figure out the new reservation software. I just want to use a notebook, but Dusty insists we need a fancy computer setup.”
“It will make things easier in the long run.”
“If I can ever figure it out.”
“Can I see it after breakfast?”
“You’re on vacation.”
I keep at her until she agrees and after we clear the table, I get behind the front desk and check out their system. “Oh, Charlotte, you can figure this one out for sure.” It’s a very streamlined version of what I use at work. “Here, let me show you.”
I spend half an hour with her until she shoos me out the door, thanking me over and over. It wasn’t a bad way to spend a morning. I liked feeling useful.
I find Dusty out behind the barn sawing wood on a sawhorse. I’m suddenly awkward and shy, remembering how it felt last night to be naked with him. To be pinned by all that hot, hard weight.
“Good morning, angel. You sleep well?”
My God, he’s beautiful. He’s shirtless and sweaty and I’m jealous of the damned sweat clinging to his skin. His massive tree trunk arms cross over his chest, and he grins at me like he knows exactly what I’m thinking about. Like there’s a cartoon bubble above my head showing me fantasizing about tracing the deep trenches of his abs with my tongue. That his tight cowboy jeans don’t hide the bulge I know is there. I blink back my thoughts. “I slept like a baby.”
“You, ah...feeling okay?”
What he doesn’t say, I can read clearly in the cartoon bubbles above his head. Are you sore? Are you emotionally okay? Did I make your first time memorable? Seriously, the guy is super sweet for someone who says the things he does in bed.
I can feel my blush climbing my cheeks. “Yeah. Last night was wonderful.”
Dusty has a delectable dimple that pops out and makes me swoony. We’re in this weird, awkward stage. He bends over to grab his water bottle, and when he takes a big drink, the sight of his throat working is somehow sexy too.
“Do you think you’ll have time to take me riding later?”
He spit-takes his water, and I curse my stupid, big mouth.
“Horses! I meant horseback riding. Charlotte suggested it. She’s making a basket. A picnic in it.” I stop talking and count to three, hoping to make more sense this time. “She’s making us a picnic basket.”
“Sure, city girl. We can go riding. You must not get many chances in Los Angeles.”
No, not many.
But how hard can it be? You see kids doing it all the time. You just have to sit on it and hold on, right? I know how to sit.
Fifteen minutes later, I’m staring at a huge animal in front of me. Oh my God. I had no idea horses were so big. I mean, I’ve seen them from afar or on a screen. But this close. Holy moly.
“This here is Gemini. Sweet girl. She’ll take good care of you.” He’s cinching things and Gemini is clearly in love with him.
But she’s giving me the stink-eye.
“I figure we’ll ride down to the river. Not too far today. You...ah...might be a bit sore.”
Oh my God. I’m blushing again. Act like you’re fine. “Sounds great.”
“You sure you want to do this? You look a little nervous.”
Act like you are fine. “It’s just been awhile. I’m fine.”
I build a character in my head. One who was practically born on a horse. She knows exactly what she’s doing and is fearless around the big beasts. Only as soon as I try to get on, Gemini bolts forward, and I miss the saddle, falling back into Dusty’s arms.
Luckily, he’s perfect at everything, including rescuing dumb city girls. He grins and kisses me square on the mouth. “Awhile, huh? How long exactly?”
I shrug. “A few years...since I’ve been on a carousel.” I bury my face in his neck as he whoops out a great big laugh. “I’m such a moron. I was trying to impress you, I guess.”
“Darlin’, I thought I showed you last night how impressed I am with you. But if we need to do a replay, I’m happy to oblige.”
“You can put me down.”
“Now that’d be a damn shame. I like holding you.”
“You don’t think I’m an idiot?”
“Not everyone was born on a ranch, sweetness. I’ve been around horses my whole life, so I know my way around them. But there’s no shame in not knowing something you’ve never tried.”
“Thank you, for not making me feel worse than I already do. The only animals I’ve been around are predatory casting directors.”
He frowns at that, but quickly changes back to the Dusty I know. “Let’s get you set up. This time, I’ll help you. Seems like I get to be part of one more of your firsts.”
––––––––
“THAT ONE IS AN ELEPHANT.”
I close one eye, but still don’t see it. “Which one?”
Ruby points to the cloud to the left of the one we just decided was a cupcake. Well, I decided it was a cupcake, she decided it was a red velvet cupcake with brandied frosting on top.
“I still don’t see it.” I roll to my side and prop my head on my elbow. I’d rather look at her anyway. We’ve been watching clouds since we finished our fried chicken and potato salad picnic. I don’t normally take the whole afternoon for lunch, but we finished a lot of wine too. It’s probably been too long since I gazed at the sky. I’ve been so caught up in building my business, I forgot to remember why I want the dream so bad.
Ruby’s not used to slowing down either. But she’s looking real pretty on this blanket, the sun catching glints in her brown hair making it look red. I want to ask her what she meant earlier, about the casting directors, but I’m not sure that’s wise. It might have been just a little joke, but I have a feeling it’s more involved than that. And I don’t want to bring up bad memories for her.
It’s been in the news so much lately, the rotten things happening to women in Hollywood. Well, everywhere really. When I think of someone taking advantage of her, it feels like someone is squeezing my heart in a fist. Of any woman. But especially her.
But who am I to delve into her past? I’m just her summer cowboy. Last night was amazing, and this day is looking like it might turn into another amazing night. But we’re so different. And I don’t have time for a relationship and she doesn’t have time for a small-time resort owner. She’s in Los Angeles for a reason. Big dreams. There’s nothing like that for her here, that’s for sure.
And I’ve been down that road before. Saw everything I needed to see on it.
But my gut won’t rest until I know. She can always tell me to mind my own business. “What did you mean earlier? About the casting directors?”
“Oh, you don’t want to hear my sob story.”
I reach for her hand. “You don’t need to tell me if you don’t want to. I don’t want to pry. But I am interested.”
She bites her lip. “I was up for a movie role a couple of years ago. It wasn’t the lead or anything, but it was a bigger supporting role than anything I’d been able to get close to. Anyway, I was running my lines in the casting director’s office when he kissed me.” Her forehead crinkles, and her eyes concentrate on something in the distance. “The scene didn’t have a kiss in it. He just grabbed me and started kissing me. I tried to push him off me, but it took a few minutes. He told me...he told me that prettier girls were up for the role, but if I gave him a blow job, it was mine. That I should be lucky he liked chubby girls—that a girl my size didn’t have too many options and I should really think about it before I said no.”
If she tells me his name, I will find him and kill him. I don’t even know where to start responding. Should I tell her that she’s not chubby? Hell, I don’t know. Whatever she is, though, is perfect. But maybe that’s the wrong thing to say. Maybe it’s not about her looks at all. Maybe it’s just the idea that a man who had power over her was using it to crush her self-esteem.
“Anyway,” she starts again as if we were talking about the weather, “he stood between me and the door. Told me he could destroy my career. That I wouldn’t be able to sell gyno cream much less act in a movie unless I got on my knees.”
“Did you?” I ask and immediately regret it. It’s not my business if she did. It doesn’t change how much I like her or anything. If she did it, she felt she had to. And that’s just heartbreaking, really.
“No, I was able to escape. But I haven’t gotten many callbacks since. It might just be that I’m not really that good, you know? But,” she shrugs, “he might have followed through. It doesn’t matter.”
“What do you mean it doesn’t matter? Ruby, no man has the right to threaten a woman or ask for sexual favors in exchange for a job. That piece of shit shouldn’t have done that to you.”
She throws her arm over her eyes. I don’t know if it’s because of the sun or if she’s hiding tears. “It happens a lot. It’s sort of the price you pay, I guess.”
“It ain’t right, what he did. Promise me something.”
“What?”
“Promise me you won’t ever water yourself down just because someone can't handle you at 100 proof.”
She sits up on her elbows. “Maybe sometimes dreams come and go. Or they change.”
“Yeah, well, right now my dream is to find that snake and remove his rattler.”