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I FEEL NAKED WITHOUT my books. That's weird, right?
I can’t even sit at my booth because there are people in it. I think Tanaya got them to sit there on purpose, to force me out of my comfort zone. It wasn’t very nice. It’s not like my name is engraved on the wood or anything, but it’s my table anyway. Most people respect that.
Thor, I mean Anker, has been in the office for a while. I shouldn’t notice his absence, but I do. If I’m forced to people-watch without my book armor, it would be nice if I could people-watch the hottest one, right?
That’s not really my luck.
Tanaya keeps bringing me a new drink whenever mine gets too low. I wish it was working. I’d love to feel a little more loose and natural right now. Instead, I’m contemplating going home even if it means staying in the apartment by myself. How much of a wuss am I? I’m a grown woman who is afraid to be home alone. Logically, I know how ridiculous it is. And normally, I’m a very logical person. But not about this.
I catch the light of the office door swinging open but pretend I don’t. I don’t mind looking my fill of Anker, but I don’t actually want Anker to know I’m ogling. Besides, I’ve seen how well that works out for all the other women.
He’s not wearing a V-neck, but I find I’m done in by something unexpected.
Forearms.
He’s rolled up the cuffs of his flannel shirt, and he’s wearing a watch or an activity tracker on his wrist and the look about undoes me. I mean, I feel like I’m going to melt right into the stool I’m sitting on. He’s got thick, sturdy forearms, with just the right amount of hair to say “manly.” I take a quick sip on my rum and Coke to avoid heatstroke.
He’s talking to Tanaya and wiping the counter, and I’m hyperventilating.
I take the straw out of my drink and take a bigger swig, almost choking on an ice cube.
Tanaya and Anker both stop and look at me.
Perfect.
“You okay?” he asks.
I whimper a little, mumble something, and nod.
I’m pretty sure I’m not going to meet the puncher of my V-card here in this bar tonight. I’m kind of a mess.
Anker comes out to take care of a table, and the woman next to me swivels her head to watch him walk.
She pretty much whistles like a catcalling asshole. “Fuck, he’s fine.”
“He’s shot you down three times, Shar. Let this one go.”
“Nah. He’ll cave.”
I take in her outfit and the way she presents herself. She’s pretty, probably in her mid-thirties, and a lot of the men in the bar watch her when she moves. She shoots most of them down, too. I have a feeling that Anker is the whale to her Captain Ahab.
God. I need to stop being such a nerd. If I threw that book reference out, I’d get a lot of blank stares. How many people have even read Moby Dick? I’m just not bar material. I need to join a lit club or something. There might not be a lot of guys who look like Thor in it, but maybe they’ll know who Ahab is.
Shar catches her hand in Anker’s shirt as he is setting a tray of glasses on the bar. “I’ve always wondered what the office looks like, Anker. I’ve heard lots of stories about it, back when this bar was the swanky place in town. I heard Frank Sinatra even sang here one night, and that he spent time in the office with one of the cocktail waitresses.”
“Well, if that’s true, they were disappointed by the decor. The Costanzas put all their money into the lounge, the office is boring.” He gives me smile. “You need anything, Annabelle?”
I shake my head but notice he’s pleading with me silently. Shar has her hand on his torso now, and she’s rubbing it in circles. “C’mon. Show it to me, Anker. I want to see your inner sanctum.”
“Can’t.” He tries displacing her hand, but her other one lands on his waistband.
“The owners are never here at night. They’ll never know. C’mon. Live a little.”
He moves that hand and grabs the wrist of the other when she tries to touch him again. “My girlfriend would not be happy with me if I started giving office tours.”
Shar and I both inhale sharply. Girlfriend? I mean I guess it’s possible. He’s never said anything about one before, but it’s not like we’ve had a real conversation. I only know what he says to Tanaya when I happen to be in earshot.
“Yeah. She tries to pretend she’s not jealous, but I can feel her blood pressure rising from here. Right, babe?” Anker is looking at me. Right at me. His eyes are a little desperate again.
Wait. Does he want me to answer? Is he telling Shar that I’m his girlfriend? No one would believe that in a million years. I’m not his type. Not at all. I’m probably forty pounds more than most of the women in here. I don’t smile very often. I don’t wear makeup. I don’t go dancing or hiking or...
“Don’t be shy, Annabelle.” He leans down into my space. My personal space. “I think you’re cute when you’re jealous.”
“I’m not jealous—” My words are cut off because there’s a mouth on top of mine. He’s kissing me. He’s pressing his lips into me and then those big hands cup my jaw and he angles my head so he can deepen the kiss.
I’ve been kissed before, but there’s some kind of short in my wiring or something because I sort of forget what to do. Until I stop trying to remember and just let it happen.
His lips are soft but firm, and the scent of him, a bit of evergreen and something that makes my heart feel wild and untamed, invades my lungs. I sigh and then his tongue slips between my lips and every nerve in my body wakes up and suddenly remembers exactly what to do. I grasp his forearms, those yummy, yummy forearms, and pull him deeper, opening my mouth for him. He groans and finds my tongue and sucks on it like it’s candy and then I hear the glass breaking.