I WOKE TO THE SOUND of pouring rain. I was having a cup of coffee when the phone rang. I heard Mrs. Q’s voice. She said Dante had left a few things for me. I’d almost forgotten what a nice voice she had.
By the time I arrived at the Quintanas’, it had stopped raining. Mrs. Q was sitting on the steps of the front porch and talking to Sophocles.
“What do you talk to him about?”
“Different things. I was just telling him about the day you saved his brother’s life.”
“Will there be a test?”
“Ever the smart aleck.”
She handed Sophocles to me. “I need to get something for you. I’ll be right back.”
I took Sophocles in my arms. I stared at his deep, curious black eyes. He was a calm baby. He was happy just to be, and he seemed to understand what was going on around him, though I knew that wasn’t really true. He was always sweet when he was in my arms. But he was fussy when Dante held him. I didn’t know why that was.
Sam and Mrs. Q came out the door carrying paintings. Mrs. Q was carrying the painting Emma had given us, and I couldn’t quite see the painting Mr. Q had carried out. Judging by its size, it was the painting Dante had been working on in his room. He’d wrapped it in an old blanket to protect it.
“We’ve missed you around here.” Sam smiled at me. “Let me put this in the back of your truck.” He came back up the steps and took the other painting and put it on my front seat. He bounced up the stairs, and right then I swear it was like watching Dante. He took Sophocles in his arms. “This little guy is getting big.”
“Does he miss Dante?”
“I don’t think so. But you do, don’t you?”
“Guess it’s written all over my face.”
Mrs. Q handed me a letter. “He left this for you.” She looked at me and shook her head softly. “I hate to see you so sad, Ari. Dante had that same look until the day he left for Paris. He never told us what happened between you two.”
“I don’t really understand what happened. I guess he just, I don’t know, just, oh hell, I really don’t know. Listen, I gotta go.”
Mrs. Q followed me to my truck.
“Ari, don’t be a stranger around here. Sam and I think the world of you. And if you ever need anything…”
I nodded.
“Whatever happened between you—remember that Dante loves you.”
“The last time I saw him, it didn’t feel like that.”
“I don’t think you really believe that.”
“I don’t know what I believe.”
“Sometimes confusion is better than certainty.”
“I don’t really get what that means.”
“Write it down—and think about it.” She kissed me on the cheek. “Give my love to Lilly. Tell her not to forget about dinner tomorrow night.”
“Dante used to think that when you had dinner with my mom and dad, all you did was talk about us.”
“Dante wasn’t right about that. He’s not right about a lot of things.”
When he fell in love with me—was he right about that? That’s what I wanted to ask her. But I didn’t.
I had always wanted to meet love, understand it, let it live inside me. I ran into it one summer day when I heard Dante’s voice. Now I wished I’d never run into it. No one had ever told me love didn’t come to stay. Now that it had left me, I was a shell, a hollow body with nothing in it but the echoes of Dante’s voice, distant and unreachable.
And my own voice was gone.