1MY SON, KEEP my words
and store up my commands within you.
2Keep my commands and you will live;
guard my teachings as the apple of your eye.
3Bind them on your fingers;
write them on the tablet of your heart.
4Say to wisdom, “You are my sister,”
and call understanding your kinsman;
5they will keep you from the adulteress,
from the wayward wife with her seductive words.
6At the window of my house
I looked out through the lattice.
7I saw among the simple,
I noticed among the young men,
a youth who lacked judgment.
8He was going down the street near her corner,
walking along in the direction of her house
9at twilight, as the day was fading,
as the dark of night set in.
10Then out came a woman to meet him,
dressed like a prostitute and with crafty intent.
11(She is loud and defiant,
her feet never stay at home;
12now in the street, now in the squares,
at every corner she lurks.)
13She took hold of him and kissed him
and with a brazen face she said:
14I have fellowship offerings at home;
today I fulfilled my vows.
15So I came out to meet you;
I looked for you and have found you!
16I have covered my bed
with colored linens from Egypt.
17I have perfumed my bed
with myrrh, aloes and cinnamon.
18Come, let’s drink deep of love till morning;
let’s enjoy ourselves with love!
19My husband is not at home;
he has gone on a long journey.
20He took his purse filled with money
and will not be home till full moon.”
21With persuasive words she led him astray;
she seduced him with her smooth talk.
22All at once he followed her
like an ox going to the slaughter,
like a deer stepping into a noose
23till an arrow pierces his liver,
like a bird darting into a snare,
little knowing it will cost him his life.
24Now then, my sons, listen to me;
pay attention to what I say.
25Do not let your heart turn to her ways
or stray into her paths.
26Many are the victims she has brought down;
her slain are a mighty throng.
27Her house is a highway to the grave,
leading down to the chambers of death.
Original Meaning
THE PARENTAL TEACHERS have saved their most vivid images and warnings about the strange/ other woman for last. The fourth appearance of this woman is the longest, the most descriptive, and most important, a narrative in which the smooth speech mentioned in every appearance is finally heard (7:14–20; cf. 2:16; 5:3; 6:24). The report of her words recalls terms used in the parents’ teaching of 6:20–35. Her smooth tongue and persuasive words (6:24; 7:5, 21) deceive the young man who lacks judgment (6:32; 7:7; he is, lit., “without heart”), convincing him that her husband will not know or retaliate (6:34–35; 7:19–20). Only when it is too late does this young man realize that these words have made him prey and taken his life (6:26; 7:21–23). The fault is his own, for had he heeded his parents’ instructions and called to wisdom, he would have been protected (6:20–24; 7:1–5).
The woman’s false speech also relates to what follows in a chiastic structure that includes speeches of personified Wisdom and Folly.
A Speech of the adulteress (7:14–20)
B Speech of Woman Wisdom at the gates (8:4–36)
B′ Speech of Woman Wisdom at her house (9:4–12)
A′ Speech of Woman Folly (9:16–17)1
This organization brings together the words of adultery and folly as a common foil for the words of Wisdom. Just as every description of the other woman mentions her smooth words and ways that lead to death (2:16–18; 5:3–5; 6:24–26; 7:5, 26–27), so Woman Folly is both deceitful and deadly (9:17–18).2 So we see that in the context of the instructions of chapters 1–9, the final three chapters present extended speeches of females who call out to men. The overall intent is to convince the young man to choose a lifelong relationship with Wisdom.
Is this a story about an actual event? Like most of the instructions and sayings, the story is the distillation of an event that happens time and time again, often enough to serve as a symbol for the seductive appeal of folly. The motif of the unknown woman appears in the wisdom instructions of Egypt and Mesopotamia:
Beware of a woman who is a stranger,
One not known in her town;
Don’t stare at her when she goes by,
Do not know her carnally.
A deep water whose course is unknown,
Such is a woman away from her husband.
“I am pretty,” she tells you daily,
When she has no witnesses;
She is ready to ensnare you,
A deadly crime when it is heard.3
Therefore, this figure of the strange/other woman presents both a concrete warning about the dangers of adultery and, in its literary context of chapters 1–9, a symbolic inducement to listen to Wisdom instead of Folly. Problems of identification abound, insofar as deceit is associated with a woman and female readers today confront a teaching that seems to be directed to men only (see comments in Bridging Contexts section). For now, note that chapter 7 tells a story of a deception similar to that of the gang of bandits in chapter 1. There the teacher quotes the male gang’s invitation to walk the way of violence, using words that appear again in this chapter: “come,” “lie in wait,” “find,” and “grave.”4 Just as these men did not know that they would become like birds trapped in a net, so the young man, believing that he is heading for a celebration of sensual delights, finds himself tricked and snared. Walking away from wisdom’s path either for violent gain or unlawful delight is a fatal mistake.
The story of the chapter unfolds in a mirror-like fashion:
A 7:1–5 Call to attention—protected from the woman
B 7:6–9 A simple young man wanders
C 7:10–20 The woman described and quoted
B′ 7:21–23 A simple young man is slain
A′ 7:24–27 Second call to attention—an image of the woman’s slain victims
Call to Attention—Protected from the Woman (7:1–5)
THE FIRST CALL to listen (7:1) once again urges the young man to keep and store the words and commands of his parents, using words similar to the previous instruction (cf. 6:20–21). “Keep” is repeated in the first lines of 7:1 and 2, and the parallel lines add “store up” and “guard” to impress the importance of remembering the commands (miṣwot) and the teachings (torot). Again, the learning of wisdom is the way to live. The whole person—eye, hand, and heart—is to be dedicated to the task (cf. Deut. 6:5–9). The “apple of the eye” (7:2) is the pupil or dark part; the same word used for “dark of night” in 7:9 and “pitch darkness” in 20:20. One Jewish tradition says that it is the place where the whole person is reflected in the eye of another. Israel is the apple of God’s eye (Deut. 32:10), as is the psalmist (Ps. 17:9).5
Binding on the fingers (7:3; cf. 3:3; 6:21) continues the idea of remembering, just as Israel was commanded to tie the commands to hand and forehead (Deut. 6:8). Writing them on the tablet of the heart reminds readers of the doorframes and gates (Deut. 6:9), but here they are internalized, written on the heart. So also a lover can be set as a seal on the heart (Song 6:8). This keeping and remembering is a way of proving faithful to Wisdom, as faithful as calling her a sister and a kin (perhaps as a spouse; Song 4:9, 10, 12; 5:1–2). Here is another sort of binding; keeping (šmr) the teachings, symbolized as a relationship with Wisdom, will keep (šmr) the young man from the other woman and her seductive words (Prov. 7:2, 5). Those words are literally smooth or slippery (cf. 2:16; 5:3) and lead astray (7:21). Smooth talk is always dangerous in Proverbs, for it leads one off the path of wisdom and onto the path of death.
A Simple Young Man Wanders (7:6–9)
WE CANNOT SAY for certain who the speaker of chapter 7 is, for the text does not tell us. It may be the father, but it could be the mother. Warnings against spending strength on women come from King Lemuel’s mother, as does praise of a good woman (31:2–3, 10–31). The woman at the window is a narrative type scene in the Bible (Sisera’s mother, Judg. 5:28; Michal, 2 Sam. 6:16; Jezebel, 2 Kings 9:30–33) and in ancient iconography.6 Some interpreters believe that the speaker may be a female because the teaching itself would help women who had much to gain from monogamous relationships with males and much to lose if the males were promiscuous.7 However, it must be remembered that while the speaker may be female, we cannot be certain; the arguments cannot prove what the text places beyond our grasp. Moreover, the viewer at the window is not always female; Abimelech also looked out the window at Isaac and Rebekah (Gen. 26:8). What is clear from reading the other biblical pictures of the viewer at the window is a foreshadowing that trouble is on its way.
Watching those who are passing by, the speaker notes that among the “simple” and “young men” (lit., “sons”) is one who “lacked judgment,” most likely the teacher’s preview of the way the story will unfold. This particular young man is “lacking heart,” a problem worse than simple naiveté, for the teacher has used this expression to describe the one who commits adultery and destroys himself (6:32). Woman Wisdom will use the term in her invitation (9:4), as will Woman Folly (9:16). Later in Proverbs, it describes a man of bad speech, one who makes rash pledges, and a sluggard (10:13; 11:12; 12:11; 17:18; 24:30; cf. 6:1–19). To “lack heart” is to do the opposite of what parents and Wisdom teach; it is no innocent ignorance.
The teacher also observes the direction of the young man’s wanderings and the time of day. He is walking in the direction of the woman’s house, although we cannot determine whether it is in hope of finding her.8 We are more concerned that it is twilight, just as the dark of night is falling, the same dark as the apple of the eye in 7:2 (ʾišon). The repetition signals the wrong choice. There may be another play on words with Hebrew yošan, sleep: “Instead of being out in the black night, the young man should have been in bed.”9
The Woman Described and Quoted (7:10–20)
THE HEBREW TEXT uses hinneh (7:10; lit., “look now!”) to create a “you are there” experience and signal the sudden appearance of a woman, heading in his direction to meet him. Before we hear her, we see her. She is “dressed like a prostitute,” perhaps a reference to the veil that Tamar used to pose as a prostitute (Gen. 38:14–15), though the word for the veil is not used. No cultic references are implicit in the term “prostitute” (zonah); it applies to anyone who engages in promiscuous behavior and endures social shame.10 Perhaps the description is also a reminder that a prostitute is not as dangerous as an adulteress (Prov. 7:26). In any case, her attire signals her intent.
Along with the outward description comes a revelation of character. Her “crafty intent” is literally a kept or guarded heart; ironically, the same expression is used positively throughout the instructions for guarding the teachings for the protection they provide (3:1, 21; 4:6, 13, 23; 5:2; 6:20). Here the idiom betrays her secretive demeanor that conceals thoughts and attentions.11
However secretive she may be, she is anything but quiet. Like Woman Folly she is noisy (7:11; cf. 9:13). In Proverbs, a wise person practices restraint, often silent but when appropriate, what comes out of the mouth is honest and straight. This woman is just the opposite, duplicitous and loud. She is “defiant” or rebellious; her feet never stay at home (do they rush to evil like those of 6:18?). Instead of staying home, she takes to the streets and squares, ironically the same places Wisdom offered her teaching (1:20). We will see that where Wisdom goes, folly is never far away (9:3, 14).
Unlike Wisdom, however, this woman makes no public invitation but rather lurks at the corner in the dark, near the street where the young man wanders (7:8). Suddenly the scene takes on the character of a hunt (cf. the wicked men in 1:11). Like a hunting animal, she grabs the unsuspecting youth and kisses him. Her brazen face is literally made strong and hard, a sign of stubborn defiance of social custom.12 So Jeremiah told Israel, “You have the brazen look of a prostitute; you refuse to blush with shame” (Jer. 3:3; nearly half of the chapters in Jeremiah use the word for shame).13
The woman finally speaks words that should bring her to shame.14 She says she has been busy making preparations at home. Three enticements follow: the sacrifices at home offer the delicacy of meat to eat (7:14), the bed at home offers the pleasures of love (7:16–17), and the husband not at home promises a sense of security (7:19–20). Having touched his lips with a kiss, all her other seductions come from her words. She is able to appeal to all his senses and make it sound as if her home is a place of paradise. What the young man does not know is that these words are the bait of a trap. The contrast between her many words and his silence is telling.
(1) The first enticement claims that a lavish meal of a freshly slaughtered offering is waiting at her house. “Fellowship offerings” (sometimes called peace or šalom offerings) were of three kinds: thanks or declaration, votive, and free will (Lev. 3:1–17; 7:12–16). Offerings made of one’s freewill or in fulfillment of a vow were to be eaten on the day of the sacrifice, with any leftovers eaten the next day. The blood sacrifice allowed the worshiper to draw near to God,15 and the supply of meat provided an opportunity for communal sharing and celebration.
Apart from the invitation to join her in feasting, it is not clear why these are her first words. Some have suggested other motivations behind the sacrifice. One theory suggests that the woman resorts to prostitution to get the money for payment of a vow, but sufficient evidence is lacking. Equally unlikely is the older proposal that the woman belongs to a foreign cult and pledges the goddess of love that she will find someone to join her in lovemaking.16 The simplest explanation is that she wants the young man to join her in a feast because she has just presented a sacrifice; the irony, of course, is that he is the next victim.17
A discerning youth might ask why she is making this communal offering alone, without husband and without neighbors, and so readers conclude that this young man may understand the sexual overtones of her invitation but not the consequences. She would have the young man believe she is acting alone, but chapters 5 and 6 remind us that the community and her man are never far away—they will come around, and the shame and blows will be real.
(2) She promises not only a feast but the pleasures of a bed made delightful to the eyes and perfumed with sweet-smelling spices. Both the linens and spices are costly items, suggesting that her husband has provided well for her, but she has not purchased them for him.18 Myrrh, aloes, and cinnamon are included in the garden of fragrances used to describe the woman of Song of Songs 4:14. Myrrh and aloes perfume the king’s robe at his wedding in Psalm 45:8, and myrrh and cinnamon were used in sacred anointing oil (Ex. 30:23; 25:6).
Having spoken of the preparations she has made by herself, she goes on to describe the pleasures that await the two of them. Using the only first person plural in the speech, she says, “Let’s drink deep of love till morning; let’s enjoy ourselves with love” (7:18). Drinking reminds the reader of the water metaphors of chapter 5 and the streams that spill out into the streets where the two of them now stand, a contrast to the “satisfaction” of a wife (5:19; cf. Ps. 36:8). “Till morning” is meant to be a sign of the delights they will enjoy throughout the night, but it also suggests that it will only be that long. It is an impoverished definition of love—sensual pleasure without emotional attachment and commitment.
(3) The woman reports that her husband has gone away for a long time, probably to assure the young man that they will not be caught. While this may direct the reader back to the husband’s fury in 6:33–34, readers already know that she is the real danger; she stalks one’s very life (6:26). The sense of distance has already been suggested with the linens from the south and spices from the east. “We get an image of the cuckolded husband, a man of affairs traveling to distant parts to accumulate the wealth his wife lavishes on imported linens and scents.”19
The woman does not even call him “husband” or “my man.” He is literally “the man, not in his house.” The use of the keyword “house” (7:6, 8, 11, 19, 20, 27) suggests that the trouble comes because no one is at home where each should be. The young man is out walking, she does not stay at her house, and the husband is not at his home but away, taking care of business.
A Simple Young Man Is Slain (7:21–23)
“WITH PERSUASIVE WORDS she led him astray” (7:21). The persuasive words are literally “much teaching,” making a play on the Hebrew root lqḥ, which can mean “take” or “receive teaching,” that is, to learn (4:2; 9:9). The same root is used in 6:25: “Do not lust in your heart after her beauty or let her captivate [take] you with her eyes.”20 The persuasive words lead the young man astray to his death, which the narrator likens to animal slaughter.
The teacher’s comparison shows that these domestic and wild animals (ox, deer, bird) alike do not know the fate that will befall them because they cannot recognize the danger. So also Jeremiah complained, “I had been like a gentle lamb led to the slaughter; I did not realize that they had plotted against me” (Jer. 11:19). All three animals make a death march, not knowing they will step toward their deaths.21 In the same way goes the young man, just like a dumb beast, for he has allowed empty words to deceive and “take” him.
Second Call to Attention—An Image of the Woman’s Slain Victims (7:24–27)
THIS SECOND CALL to attention is directed at “my sons,” the plural probably directed to the larger readership, particularly since this is the last of the parents’ formal instructions. After this, Wisdom will become the primary speaker. Coming at the heels of the woman’s smooth talk, one can hear an emphasis in the words, “Listen to me . . . pay attention to what I say” (7:24).
The teacher again directs his teaching at the “heart,” the seat of intentions, warning that it should not turn or stray to the other woman’s paths. If the heart stays fixed on the right path, the feet will follow. Repeating the bloody images of the previous section, the teacher adds that the young man is not a single casualty, for “many are her victims,” and those killed are a “mighty throng,” mixing military and hunting metaphors. Assyrian kings had their exploits in hunting depicted on stone reliefs to prove their strength and courage in battle.
Because the narrator’s description of this seduction is typical of many like it, we take it not so much of a sign of one woman’s conquests but as deceptions that have brought down many a man. Certainly the final image the parental teachers wish to leave in their son’s mind is that of the highway to šeʾol (“grave”), again mixing metaphors to liken her house to that way. It was the house and its awaiting pleasures that seemed so alluring, yet it became a home of the dead (an image that reappears in chs. 8 and 9).
To summarize, this narrative poem introduces the adulteress as a speaking character (preparing the way for Woman Folly in ch. 9 and contrasting with Wisdom in chs. 8 and 9), bringing together metaphors of house, way, darkness, and most important, the trap. In chapter 1, the net that catches birds works because the men do not recognize it; the same idea is repeated here. In chapter 1 the young man is told to observe the fate of the violent men who entice with promises but are caught like birds in their own trap; here, the victim is also seduced with promises. But this time, the fate falls on him, not the seducer! Moreover, as in chapter 1, Wisdom’s voice follows with words of truth. Finally, a house can become a way of darkness, for deception can be practiced there, and seductions can conceal knowledge. But the learner/reader must be prepared for such deception and should be able to recognize traps in words that sound too good to be true.
Bridging Contexts
THE TEACHER’S FINAL lecture presents a worst-case scenario of folly to the young man. Having heard of other/strange woman, he now hears and sees her. If, like the simpleton of the story, he succumbs to her deceptive charms, he will have failed this course of wisdom. The genius of this narrative metaphor lies in using a particular case of folly (adultery) to teach lessons about wisdom in general. Readers are led to make this move from particular case to general truth as the teacher points to that lifelong relationship: “Say to wisdom, ‘You are my sister’ ” (7:4).
Understanding the feminine symbolism. The task for the contemporary reader is to follow the direction of the symbolism, discerning how its timeless truths apply to particular situations today. The question is not whether the lectures on adultery are symbolic, but how and of what. An appreciation for both original and contemporary contexts requires that we combine reading the Bible as canon (received theological document) with retelling the Scriptures as an imaginative work (literary art), putting hands, feet, flesh, and bones of real people to the text. The interpreter’s task is to reimagine the text through study of the lives of people in the pews.22
Again the issue is not whether the narrative poem is symbolic but of what. Those who study the ancient social context find correspondence with the return from exile reported in Ezra and Nehemiah. So, for example, some see the strange woman as a symbol for marriage with foreign women, whose alien worship brought a threat to land ownership.23 Others extend the symbol of the other/strange woman to include all that Israel’s sages and priests find abhorrent—ritual defilement from mixing sacrifice, sex (Lev. 7:19–20), and idolatry.24
However, one reading that stays close to the literary context of Proverbs argues that the case at issue is “adultery or sexual intercourse with unfamiliar women, which are challenges to family integrity.”25 Adultery in this context threatens social status and property because the injured husband may go to court (6:34–35) or seek financial compensation (5:9–10). Because there is no clue to the reader that the seduction scene is an allegory for sociopolitical events,26 we take the other/strange woman to mean “not one’s own” and adultery as the taking of a sex partner who is not one’s own as well.
A more prevalent view understands the strange/other woman to be symbolic of the folly of evil in all its seductive power. For this reason, it is here in this chapter more than any other that we should consider the wealth of scholarship produced by women concerned with the portrayal of the feminine (or positive and negative portraits of feminine figures) in the discourses of Proverbs 1–9. We should listen carefully when writers like Gail Yee tell us that the reader’s identification with the concerns of a young male is more difficult and complicated for women, as is the use of a female figure as an embodiment of evil.27 Women in the study groups I lead say the same. They have heard women unfairly blamed for cases of adultery and are sensitive to how literary symbols can be misused. They also ask how women are to respond to feminine portraits, both negative and positive, that speak primarily in terms that appeal to the interests of men?28 How can they be understood so as to prevent the possibility of their being misunderstood?
(1) Interpreters must reflect carefully on the nature of a literary symbol. Carol Newsom rightly points out that the practical advice about avoiding adultery and the symbolic reference to wisdom are never separated; they are never simply one or the other. They are metaphoric extensions of concrete descriptions, metaphors that are socially constructed. The difference between the depictions of adultery in the film Fatal Attraction and in Proverbs 1–9 is that the latter claims that these conflicts are ultimately about whose words we choose to believe and the choice of Folly over Wisdom. However, the depiction in Proverbs does not challenge the fact that its discourse was most likely written by males for males and that this text makes the strange woman marginal and dangerous.29
For this reason some hope to recover a woman teacher in Proverbs 7, while others deconstruct what seems to be an overly simple portrayal of an innocent man and a wicked woman.30 We have seen, however, that the text does not name the teacher, so we can surmise but not prove that the speaker is female. We have also seen that the young man is held responsible for his actions and that the contrast between the saintly figure of Wisdom and sinner Folly makes no claim to speak about the nature of the sexes. Both men and women can be seduced by evil or become instruments of seduction, as the invitation of the men of violence shows (cf. 1:10–19). In our preaching and teaching on this text, we must show that there is no innocent party to adultery, male or female, just as there is no innocent folly in Proverbs.
(2) We must translate the imagery in ways that are faithful to both the original context and our contemporary experience. Much contemporary scholarship places its emphasis on male control of female sexuality, claiming that the narrative represents a masculine fear of women who refuse to yield control of their lives. In response, Alice Ogden Bellis points out that the direct teaching of the text speaks to the need for control, or better self-control, of male sexual behavior, for there are many more stories in the Hebrew Bible of men raping women than there are of women seducing men.31 Women readers, then, are called to identify with the concerns of the parental teachers for their son’s pursuit of wisdom and his rejection of invitations to evil. Although it requires the work of translation, it is possible to reverse roles and cast seduction in a male voice, as Bellis did in a letter to her daughters:
You know that I love you more than anything else in the world. I want you to be happy, but as you know, life is tough, life is real. It takes more than being an excellent student, world-class athlete or prizewinning dancer or musician to lead a happy life. These things are important and you are on your way to achieving some of these goals, but it takes more to be happy. And so I ask you to try to discover what is true and just and wise. . . .
Make truth your lover, justice your muse. Truth will stand by you if you lose your friends or your job because you refused to do something unethical. Justice will encircle you with warmth more real than a fire when people shun you for standing up for the dignity and worth of every person regardless of their personal characteristics, or when you blow the whistle on wrongdoing. . . .
Truth and justice are elusive. They present themselves to those who seek them persistently and seriously. They hide from everyone else. Do not be misled by handsome faces, by beautiful bodies, by the right clothes, or by correct manners. Especially do not be deluded by flatterers who tell you that you are beautiful (of course you are!) and then ask you to give them your body or your soul. The pretty boys and jocks will beckon to you. They will ask you to go out. Soon, they will ask you to bed. It’s a dangerous world. Their ways lead to death, not just moral death, but physical death as well. Drugs and alcohol and cigarettes are some of the ways of those who want to show off, but inside are little boys. They want easy sex with no responsibility. Do not cavort with folly. Do not consort with the frivolous. Rather spend your time with men of substance and worth. A good man is hard to find, but he is more precious than jewels.32
Bellis has listened carefully to the literary symbolism, and that work has guided her in creating this contemporary paraphrase. We who teach and preach need to do the same, attending the symbols of relationship. With a careful and subtle use of irony, the descriptions of marital faithfulness and adultery use a common vocabulary to show that the same actions can build or destroy intimacy. Thus, the young man is to embrace Wisdom (4:8), not the strange woman (5:20). The other/strange woman will take hold of him (7:13), but he should take hold of Wisdom (3:18; 4:13).
(3) We should also remember that the words of this adulteress are seductive because they are, to a large measure, true to human experience. Spouses can leave their mates alone more than they should, and the immediate pleasures of strange beds are real. There is a sense in which both Wisdom and Folly speak to lived experience,33 even while the purposes to which their words are directed are broader concerns for one’s life direction.
In seeking to build a bridge between this ancient symbolism of adultery and our own understanding of what happens in an extramarital affair, we might think of levels of otherness or outsideness. The other/strange woman in Proverbs may have been created to represent someone outside of the national or tribal family, and she is certainly outside the marital family unit. But perhaps most important, she stands outside the value system taught in the book of Proverbs. The symbolism of evil in the strange/other woman should be understood in terms of evil behavior (speech and deed), just as it is for the gang of wicked men. Evil behavior should not be identified with gender, for neither has a corner on initiating marital unfaithfulness.
Preventing misunderstanding. Because the point of the narrative is the danger of adultery in particular and folly in general, preachers and teachers should take two corrective steps to prevent misunderstanding. (1) They should make clear that the woman’s behavior in this chapter is a symbol of sinful folly, reminding their hearers that the narrative makes no negative comments about women or female sexuality. It is one thing to be aware of the overwhelming power of one’s sexuality, it is another to blame it on someone else.34 Because there is a long history of ascribing temptation and even evil to women (often making misguided reference to Eve’s offer of the forbidden fruit), we must be counteractive in teaching a biblical view.
(2) Preachers and teachers should remember to talk about the temptations of adultery and folly in terms that can apply to both sexes, choosing general terms or balancing the use of images and examples between those that speak to females and those that speak to males.
The best approach we can take will recognize the symbolism of folly in this portrait of a predatory sexual encounter, and like the teachers of Proverbs, name it and face it. It is a mistake to allegorize the story so it becomes just a statement about folly and does not speak to the issue of sexuality out of control. At the same time, it is a mistake to so focus on the sin of adultery as to miss the larger point about the folly of sin. Certainly speaking to the matter of marital infidelity is in line with the teacher’s strategy, and today’s teachers and preachers should also address the confused thinking about sex that permeates our general culture and perhaps even our churches. We teach to counteract those confusions and clarify that our misunderstandings about sex can take the forms of idolatry and seduction.
Sex in contemporary society. Thus, we must find ways to talk about the goodness of sex and the essential goodness of boundaries in a culture that makes too much of sex and too little of boundaries. It is even appropriate to suggest that our culture has made sex into an idol. We have not only worshiped it with our attention and dollars, we expect it to serve and fulfill our most basic physical and emotional needs for esteem and intimacy. Yet ironically, such a view of sex trivializes it because it isolates it from the essential dimensions of commitment and transparency that mark honest and committed relationships.
Sex is both less than we think and, at the same time, more than we think.35 Our culture overstates its capacity to make our lives complete and so understates its true purpose, to bond humans together in joyful and mutual commitment. If we listen to the woman’s speech and hold the immediate experience of passion higher than commitment (7:18), we will most likely hear echoes of what many today think and feel. Of course our culture believes such things, but are we who name the name of Christ doing any better? Might one factor behind the prevalence of affairs and divorce in the church be that the we have bought into the myth as well?
Some interpreters have suggested that the woman’s invitation makes a parody of the relationship between lovers in the Song of Songs, a poem that depicts a woman who goes out at night to find her lover (Song 3:1–4) and whose friends bless them with “drink your fill, O lovers” (5:1). Both Scriptures use the motifs of ancient love poetry, Song of Songs extolling a love that is exclusive and respectful.36 The descriptions of physical beauty and the delights of physical embrace praise the loved one; they do not leer. Moreover, the man and woman both speak to one another in turn, their praises and words of longing a sign of a relationship between equals that they intend to last forever. By contrast, in Proverbs only the woman speaks, she does not praise the young man (although there is some flattery involved in “I sought you”), but instead praises the experience of sex. Could it be that our culture lives by an understanding of sexual expression more like the woman’s seduction than the lover’s invitations?
It may be that while Christians reject the sin of adultery, we embrace the view of sexual experience that motivates the woman’s enticement to adultery. The mistake comes in elevating that experience above all the other aspects of marriage, making it the test of the marriage. In sum, the text speaks directly about the dangers of adultery in terms of a culture in which adultery was defined as taking another man’s wife. But it may also reveal attitudes toward sex in general that are very much like our own and equally dangerous. Moreover, when this exaggerated view of sex is isolated from relationship, when it does not matter who the partner is, when it ignores boundaries, sexual expression can backfire in dangerous ways.
Yet, as we have seen, the story of this not-so-secret case of adultery also points beyond itself to the larger error of choosing the wrong partner, a woman who looks and sounds a lot like Folly instead of Wisdom. Instead of speaking to Wisdom words of intimate relationship (7:4), the simple young man lets the woman and the folly of her proposal speak to him (7:5). There is a sense in which adultery as a particular case of the folly of sin also illustrates the seductions of sin. Just as the sin of idolatry sets anything related to self, its wants, and its desires in place of God, so sin, the seducer, believes lies and tells lies in its effort to get what it wants. Thus, the woman’s invitation, a trap concealed and baited, is not much different from the gang’s invitation to easy gain. Both lead astray to “other” paths (1:15; 7:25), and both are deadly.
We have seen that Proverbs begins with an invitation to violent crime that most readers would find easy to reject, only to be surprised that the invitation is an extreme case of the seductions of greed and covetousness to which all are prone (cf. the comments on ch. 1). Likewise, not many may be approached by an aggressive wife (I know of only one other instance in the Bible, the story of Joseph, Gen. 39), but the seductions of pleasure without promise reach us all. For this reason, the series of instructions offered by the parental teachers begins and ends with voices that can lead the young man astray.37 Both voices promise pleasures that hide the fact that death waits at the end. If there is any difference, it is that the violent men of chapter 1 are caught while this story is about a young man who is himself caught, and readers can easily put themselves in his place.
Contemporary Significance
PREACHING THIS PASSAGE. I don’t think I’ve ever heard a sermon on this chapter of the book of Proverbs, perhaps because its message seems so clear and direct that preachers conclude that no work of interpretation and application is needed. It may also be the case that the topic is one preachers would rather avoid, for how does one preach about this scene of seduction and infidelity without sounding judgmental, sexist, or both? It is understandable, then, if some avoid the topic of adultery among Christians by spiritualizing the message about sin and folly, the way the Song of Song’s message about faithful committed love is spiritualized into an allegory of Christ and the church (or for Jews, Yahweh and Israel).
However, we have seen that the symbolism of this story sums up the real human experience of sexual seduction to make a point about all kinds of seduction, especially those that lead away from the Lord and his wisdom. We have also seen that the story is not an allegory of historical circumstances concerning intermarriage with foreign women among returning exiles. The narrative art of the teacher’s story spoke to an original audience in which young men needed caution about their awakening sexuality, and to a community that needed counsel about the seductions of sin. In this way the story spoke to a historical situation, not about it.
This portion of Proverbs was written as a warning against those actions and the enticements that precede them, and it should be used to make a similar warning. Our preaching and teaching should follow the rhetorical purpose for which the text was written. Turning first to the particular issue of sexual sin, the church can acknowledge that we rightly speak to our teenagers about their emerging sexuality, but mistakenly assume that we do not need to teach adults about relationships and sex. Certainly it is appropriate to use discretion in speaking about matters of sexual behavior, but our embarrassment over the issue should never promote silence. Instead, we must help young adults understand their sexual desires and their needs to enter into a whole relationship with a life partner.
Fulfillment in marriage. At different times, single young men have told me that they envy those who are married because they are no longer subject to sexual temptations. I remind them that the number of cases of infidelity and divorce among Christians argues otherwise. A psychologist friend suggests that evangelical Christians have the highest rate of divorce for two reasons: (1) The commitment to save sex for marriage inevitably encourages young Christians to marry for sex; (2) many of these young Christians believe that the one they marry has been chosen by God. As right as it is to save sex for marriage, these beliefs also can lead youth to neglect or downplay their own assessment of whether the person makes a good life partner. In other words, the exaltation of feelings of love join with these Christian beliefs to lead young believers to ignore the larger matters of dealing with a real person for a lifetime. Romantic notions of love and marriage must be tempered with wise counsel about mate selection.
It may be that myths about marriage have contributed to these misunderstandings. In his classic The Road Less Traveled, M. Scott Peck expresses his astonishment when a group of married adults shared that they believed that marriage was intended to fulfil their personal needs. Not a word was said about the joint effort at helping one another grow into mature persons! Too many believe that marital joy comes without the discipline of nurturing a relationship with a real person. Perhaps the enticements of adultery are the shadow side of the marriage myths among us. Perhaps prevalent among believers is a mindset that believes that marriage brings all the joys of the Song of Songs without the mutual commitment and work that such a love requires.
When this fails, the similar descriptions of a married woman’s bed in the story of Proverbs 7 can be appealing. Along with warnings about the temptations of infidelity, positive teaching on ways relationships are nurtured is essential. It is one way to call wisdom sister (7:4). We can also encourage healthy marriages by asking single and married persons alike to examine their sexual desires and submit them to careful reflection. Psychologists tell us that extramarital affairs are not primarily about sex but about personal issues that are swept under the rug; affairs are often motivated by problems that do not receive the attention they require. For some, the exhilaration of an affair compensates for a sense of inadequacy in other areas of life. For others, it is a means to avoid honest relationship with one’s spouse. Whatever its motivating cause, misunderstandings of sex and marriage as well as the temptations to extramarital relationship should be addressed through preaching, Christian education, and pastoral care.
Dangers of sexual fantasies. Unfortunately, contemporary life presents more opportunities to engage in fantasy than in honest reflection. The woman’s description of her bed appeals to the senses, hoping the anticipation of its pleasures will move the young man. She cultivates desire, not to serve the growth of a relationship but to serve her own ends. In our time, we see a similar misuse of such sensuous appeal in the commercialization of sex, not only in mainstream advertising, television, and films but also in the burgeoning pornography industry.
Just across the mountains of Hollywood in the San Fernando Valley, video and internet production of pornography accounts for somewhere between ten and fourteen billion dollars in sales per year, more than the money people spent on movie tickets and more than the money spent on professional baseball, football, and basketball combined. One producer said, “We realized that when there are 700 million porn rentals a year, it can’t just be a million perverts renting 700 videos each.”38 The privacy of home video and pay per view has made porn more popular than ever, for it allows people to indulge without anyone ever knowing. Because of its availability and secrecy, it becomes a snare for many, and it too should earn a warning.
Along with positive teaching about relationships, warnings should also teach about the necessity of setting limits, similar to the teacher’s warning “do not stray into her paths” (7:25), for opening one’s mind to the images and allure of pornography is like opening one’s ears to her invitations. Porn is never harmless, and I say this in part because I see it has become the source of laughs on TV sitcoms. Porn is not harmless even if it never leads to violence against women; it harms one’s view of sex and one’s view of other persons as objects to be used. Finally, it humiliates and degrades those who use it, as many have testified. Public preaching and teaching on the passage can both point out porn’s dangers and compassionately offer help in confronting the underlying conflicts that motivate its use.
Forms of temptation. Finally, the church should also unmask the different forms these temptations take. Characterization in this story presents both a wandering young man and a predatory wife, and the church’s teaching should in turn acknowledge the reality of both forms of behavior, even among Christian believers. Although the number of predators may be small, this story in Proverbs presents the opportunity to talk about such behavior and offer warnings of its signs. Charm, flattery, and extravagant promises have been used by many men and women to prey on the vulnerable. If the predator is actively intent, the wanderer is inattentive. He or she simply does not pay attention to the need to stay vigilant and set boundaries that would screen out such attempts at seduction.
Too many pastors and counselors hear that an inappropriate relationship “just happened.” But a psychologist friend tells me that most often, the person who says that was either actively looking or at least had been open to the possibility of an affair, putting himself or herself in a compromising situation in hope that something might happen. Such openness to enticement is encouraged by any number of factors, usually connected with some unmet emotional need. Solid teaching can encourage careful planning to avoid those compromising situations. In their book Meditations for the Road Warrior, editors Mark Sanborn and Terry Paulson offer a list of “ways to avoid temptation” for those who do a lot of traveling on business. The list includes asking the hotel desk to turn off adult movies, having friends to call when feeling lonely and vulnerable, and avoiding travel with anyone with whom one is tempted to cross boundaries.39
It should be added that predators and wanderers include Christian pastors and staff ministers as well. One journalist who has reported on a number of stories of clergy misconduct concluded, “My work as a reporter has been one part of my learning about boundaries. . . . I quickly calculated that neither I nor my personal clergy and clergy friends were predators. Wanderers, however, sounded like a continuum broad enough to include millions of people. My education continues.”40 While the number of cases of sexual misconduct is relatively small compared to the great majority of ministers who do their work with integrity and care, even one case is too many. The church can do its part by teaching about proper conduct and dealing openly and honestly with misconduct when it happens. Ministers and laypeople alike can do their part by recognizing wandering for the widespread problem that it is.
Preaching and teaching on this chapter should explain that the narrative about adultery, with its seduction and lies, is symbolic of the lies of folly in general. In other words, this scene is a symbol of adultery, which is a symbol of folly. As we have discussed sexual sin, we have seen that it is one species of seduction. A more general definition of seduction includes anything that promises fulfillment without mention of commitments or costs. Seduction speaks of gains and pleasures without responsibility and work. Real fulfillment requires the price of work, but the lies of folly exacts payments much more costly and final. Folly offers something for nothing. Like snake oil, it promises to cure every ill and enhance our lives with no side effects. We may laugh and ask how people in the past could be so gullible and buy snake oil, but as the ploys become more sophisticated, we find ourselves duped in more ways than we recognize.41
Thus, with bitter irony, the teaching parent calls the woman’s seductive words “teaching” (lqḥ), reminding the son that he must learn how to discern good speech from bad. It may be that the writer intended readers and hearers to learn from this perversion of teaching, for this woman’s bad teaching becomes a test case in recognizing snake oil for what it is. We will see that just as Wisdom’s true and faithful speech answered the gang’s enticement to evil (1:10–33), so Wisdom’s instruction answers the bad teaching of the other woman (8:7–10).