“So this neighbor of yours must be really special.”
Shannon almost knocked the ice cream from the top of her cone. Her head snapped up, her eyes glazed in a classic “deer in the headlights” look. She wondered if her mother could hear her heart pounding as loudly as she could. She couldn’t possibly know about that kiss.
Her mother had always had a way of learning all Shannon’s secrets. Shannon took a deep breath and ate another bite of ice cream, a defense mechanism she had learned as a child. She couldn’t talk if her mouth was full.
“The children were singing his praises the whole time we were at the zoo. Brady went on about how strong he is. Brian is convinced that Dean is the next Tony Stark. I’m not sure I’ve heard of him. Is he a sports star?”
Shannon shook her head. She hadn’t realized how much Dean had come to mean to her kids. Oh, what had she done? She had all but pushed them into his yard, into his life. And for what, so she could enjoy a little eye candy? No, he wasn’t just a gorgeous face. He’d come to mean something to all of them. Absently, she watched the chocolate ice cream dribble down the cone, onto her hand.
“ … marry him.”
“Whoa! I’m sorry, what?” Shannon leaned over and tossed her melted mess of an ice cream cone into a garbage can. She grabbed the stack of napkins beside her and rubbed briskly at her hands.
“I said, Brenna is already making plans to marry your Dean, once she’s grown up. She was telling me all about the flowers and the dress. It sure starts early, doesn’t it?”
“He’s not my Dean. That’s ridiculous! I mean, she can marry whomever she wants when the time is right. But Brenna is too young to be thinking about crushes and marriages and flowers … ” Shannon stopped wiping at her sticky fingers when she realized she’d been babbling.
She looked up and, sure enough, Catherine’s steely eyes showed she wasn’t fooled a bit.
“Oh, baby, what have I done to you?” Tossing her own ice cream away, Catherine drew her daughter up from the picnic table.
“Children, stay with Roger. Your mom and I are going to take a little walk.”
The two women left the ice cream shop and walked the short distance to the cliff face, overlooking the Atlantic. They sat on a bench and looked out over the placid ocean. The lighthouse in the distance gleamed white in the late afternoon sun.
“Remember when we used to drive up here and park to watch the storms? There was something so awe-inspiring about the way the waves crashed against the rocks. All that power. You really got the sense that something bigger than us was in charge.”
“I remember you telling me that if a boy asks me to park at the lighthouse, it wasn’t because he was suggesting we watch the waves. I was to tell him ‘No way!’ and make him take me back home.”
“Uh huh, and instead of following my advice, you jumped at the chance to go with Vincent Bainbridge, the first time he asked you.”
“I was merely curious.” Shannon felt her cheeks warm at that particular memory. Oh, she’d learned a lot that night.
“But you didn’t stay that way.” Disappointment tinged her mother’s words.
“I beg your pardon? That’s like saying you want me to be … unladylike,” Shannon stammered. This conversation was making her incredibly uncomfortable.
Catherine sighed, her smile sad. She reached out and took one of Shannon’s hands, squeezed. She stared out at the ocean for a long time, like she was trying to figure out how to form what she needed to say.
“I didn’t want you to end up like me.” She held up her hand when Shannon turned and gave her an incredulous look.
“I let my experience with your father color my entire view of the male population. Men leave. They can’t be depended upon. They only think of themselves. They are little boys in a big body.”
“I’ve had my own experiences, you know. Vince wasn’t any different than my father. Hell, my dad stuck around longer. Vince cut out as soon as he found out we were having triplets.”
“He was young. You were both so young. Have you ever wondered if he would have stayed if you hadn’t gotten pregnant right away? Or if you’d only had one baby? I’m not trying to make excuses for Vince, but I think he was just a scared boy. He was overwhelmed.”
Shannon frowned, snagging a lock of hair and twirling it absently around her finger. Her mother had never mentioned this before. It would be childish to think the woman was taking sides. To be quite honest, Shannon had just assumed he was looking for an easy way out of a life that had suddenly become one huge responsibility.
“I let my own past influence your view of men … of the world. I made a mistake.”
“Mom, that’s not true. You were the best parent in the world. You were always there for me. You made me feel safe, loved, protected.”
“I sheltered you. I tried to protect you from making the same mistakes I did.” Catherine looked up, her gaze somewhere out over the distant horizon. “I was so happy for you when you and Vince said you were getting married. It meant that you were forming your own opinions, taking your own chances. I was so proud of you.”
“Is that why you left? Because you thought I didn’t need you anymore?”
“My leaving was all about me, sweetheart. It had nothing to do with you. I had put my own life on hold for so long that I almost forgot what it was to be me.
“You were starting your own life, that’s true. And it was time for me to find my own way, to finally do something for myself.”
Shannon sighed. She remembered the excitement of starting a new life with Vince. But at the same time, she had felt resentment toward her mother for choosing that time to move out to California. She had felt abandoned. To her, her mother was acting flighty, irresponsible. She had never even thought to ask Catherine why she was leaving. Now she understood.
“When you didn’t come back after the triplets were born, I thought that was your way of reinforcing that I had to do this on my own. You took on two jobs to support me. You worked so hard to give me the life I had. You did what you needed to do and you didn’t ask for help from anyone.”
“And I hated it. Oh, my God, there were times I was so bitter, so resentful. I can’t tell you how horrible a mother I felt. It is a miracle that you didn’t pick up on that.” Catherine turned to her daughter, tears coursing down her cheeks.
The sight was too much and Shannon gathered the older woman into her arms, the two of them sobbing on each other’s shoulders. So much had come to light. As close as they were, this was a talk that had been too long in coming. Everything Shannon had based her life on, her parenting philosophy on was … skewed.
Scrambling in her pockets for tissues, Catherine sniffled, pulling herself together. She pressed a tissue into Shannon’s hand and dabbed at her own tears. They finally made eye contact and both women began to giggle.
“Now, do you want to tell me about your new neighbor? Is Brenna going to have any competition?”
“He’s everything the kids say he is and more. He’s kind, he’s thoughtful, he’s patient.”
“Is he a good kisser?” Again with the knowing gaze.
“Oh, yeah.” Shannon closed her eyes and didn’t even bother to hide the pleased smile that took over her whole face. “But I’m not going to ask you the same question. Sorry, Mom. I’m happy you found Roger, or that he found you. But it’s just too squicky to think of you … like that.” Her expression was half smile, half grimace.
“I won’t give you nightmares by offering up too much detail. I just want you to know how happy he makes me. I didn’t realize how long I had been cheating myself until Roger came along. He makes me want … more.”
“You look happy. Really. I know I’m not used to your having a man in your life, but if Roger makes you look this carefree, then he’s got to be good for you.”
“I’m glad you think so, baby, because one of the reasons I brought Roger with me was to make an announcement.” Catherine’s smile slipped a little as she took a deep breath. “Roger and I are getting married.”