Mirror, Mirror on the Wall, Who’s the Fairest of Them All?
Thea’s world fell apart when the American boy came crashing into her life. He stood at least six feet tall with baby blue eyes, and he came to the island on the day she participated in the local pageant. This was her first official beauty pageant, and he came right on time.
Thea found out the American was part of a PR piece covering Siquijor’s local pageant. Slowly, their island was being promoted to people in faraway places. Their local government said the publicity would boost tourism. The island wasn’t cursed, but blessed with magical gifts—the enchanting beauty of Siquijor. And Thea was their muse.
“Who is he?” Thea asked her friend Nena. He was talking to the local officials, and the look on his face was stony. He seemed like a determined man, someone who would push until he got what he wanted.
“Everett, I heard,” Nena replies, pulling the petals off the flower one by one, playing the old game. He loves me; he loves me not. “He’s dreamy, isn’t he?”
Everett was dreamy, and Thea was lovestruck. When he caught her staring, she quickly looked away, blushing. She felt conscious of how she looked. It didn’t matter if people called her goddess—she only needed one person to tell her that, and he wouldn’t spare her even a look. He was not like the rest of the young boys on the island. He looked so deep and mysterious.
Thea realized she had to make an impression. She wasn’t just beautiful; she was also intelligent. She wasn’t going to make people love her; she was going to make them respect her.
Thea took a photo from the other album and showed it to Cleo. It was a photo of her with a crown made of flowers and her sash made out of leaves, and she had a winning smile.
“We weren’t exactly the most developed province, so we tried to make do with what we have,” Thea explains, leaving the photo in Cleo’s hands. “I was crowned Lady Siquijor, and everyone believed I was going to put Siquijor on the map.”
“For tourism,” Anne says. “With Island Girl being Miss Beautiful and Nice on the most enchanting island, everyone will go gaga over it. You’ll have the tourists rushing to come to visit Siquijor.”
Thea nods, pausing for a while.
“Did it work?” Cleo probes, unable to sleep without knowing the entire story.
The island pageant was working really well. It just so happened that the locals wanted more. When news got around about the national pageant in Manila, they came to Thea’s door day and night, pushing her to go further. Her parents refused, saying Manila was a dangerous city and would ruin their simple life.
Thea always believed her parents, never questioned them. To do that would be disrespectful. From what she could tell about Manila, it was a city of sin. Her grandparents, neighbors, and friends all told her so. Whenever someone chose to go to Manila, they always ended up living a miserable life. She didn’t want that. She wanted to stay on the island where she was safe and familiar with everyone.
On one sunny day, Thea was collecting seashells, just as she usually did, and then she suddenly got an unexpected visitor. It was Everett in a white shirt and tattered pants. He was offering her the shells he had collected himself. She took them and wondered what he was doing there. For a while, they just shared the moment of collecting seashells until he spoke.
“People should come here on your island.”
Thea looked beyond the horizon and thought of it. “I hope they don’t.”
“Why?”
“Because it wouldn’t feel homely then. This is my safe space.”
Everett sat next to Thea on the sand. “You can’t stay here forever. You have to stretch your wings, reach greater heights. With your face, you can do a lot more.”
“Just the face?” Thea teased; a bit disappointed. That’s the only thing he noticed.
“Would you give me some of your time today so I can get to know you, and maybe then I can say something that’s not just about your face?”
“That was the start of a good romance, and some people would never understand it, but your father had been good to me. He made me want to dream bigger,” Thea says with bittersweet fondness. “So, when the registration for the national pageant opened, he convinced me to go to Manila. He was about to leave the country, anyway. I was heartbroken, of course. I’d never met a man who was that persistent to win in life. It made me feel like I should try to live at the same level. Everybody on the island looked up to him because he was fair-skinned and good-looking, but deep inside, he was just as lost as I was—probably still is. We spent an hour or two together every day. We didn’t want to give people something to talk about. Your grandparents would have been mad if they found out I was spending so much time with a foreigner, so we were careful, and it was fine with me. I liked my private moments with him. Eventually, he did convince me to come to Manila, and that was because he’d be staying in the country, after all, as part of the nationals.”
“Para sa pag-ibig,” Cleo remarks, getting a picture now, of the sweet love her parents once shared.
Thea nods in agreement. “Yes, all in the name of love.”
Going to Manila scared Thea, but losing Everett was unimaginable. If they could both achieve their goals, they could have a great future together. Thea’s parents took a lot of convincing. They were adamant she wasn’t going anywhere. She was their youngest daughter, so naturally, they were very protective of her. It was their neighbors who managed to convince them. They told her parents that they would help with the sponsorship and that the local government had talked to some brand partnerships in the city. It meant extra income for them, and all would be paid for. All they needed to do was to send her to the city.
Thea’s parents finally saw what a big opportunity it was, so they agreed. Everett went on ahead as they had a schedule to follow, so she went on her own, afraid and all alone. But the minute she stepped onto the ground in Manila it seemed, news about her had already gotten around. She was instantly famous. She was Island Lady Siquijor. She was a fresh candidate who had not the slightest touch of the crazy metropolitan.
The sponsors and brand advertisers came. They overwhelmed Thea with their offers and deals, and being someone who didn’t know anything at all about this world, she said yes because it meant going forward with her goals. It involved money, and it would help her family.
Thea did things she’d never done before—she was interviewed in front of the camera, got the chance to stay in a hotel or condo, all provided by sponsors, and had to dress nicely every day. Her clothes would be so nice she didn’t want to change out of them, but each new dress or outfit would turn out to be better than the last.
“Manila’s hectic. I never thought I’d make it here, but I did, and I just felt so proud. I was Lady Siquijor, and everyone was cheering for me. It didn’t matter that I came from an unknown island. I felt loved. I felt like I was bringing something to the city, as the people here had never met anyone like me before.”
Thea spreads out the photos taken of her when she got to Manila.
Cleo stares at them and realizes how her mother hasn’t changed. She’s still as beautiful as ever, and her presence is naturally soothing to the soul.
“How was Manila then, Ma? Did it drive you nuts?” Cleo prompts, knowing this is something her mother hasn’t looked back on for years.
Thea stands up and gazes at the night sky. “It did, but the good thing was that I made a friend there.”
Thea had no idea what was waiting for her there, but she certainly didn’t think it was going to be a woman who, in another life, might have been driving slaves forward with a whip. This thirty-something woman clad in a blouse and pencil skirt was inspecting Thea from head to toe. She made sure nothing ever escaped her eagle eye, which made the other candidates afraid of her. In terms of height, she was shorter than most of the candidates, but she was tough as a drill sergeant and completely confident in the way she stood in front of them and talked to them.
“I’m Elle, the talent coordinator for the nationals. You are all my responsibility, and failure to comply with my schedule will get you nowhere. Is that understood?” Elle asks, hands on her hips.
The other ten candidates were whispering to each other. They were talking about Elle’s face.
“Is her hair really that slick? It looks like a man’s.”
“She’s got thin lips, and they’re cracked in all the wrong places. And her pimples?”
“We’re not gonna be bullied by her.”
Elle must have picked up what they were saying because she immediately turned to them. “Why don’t you try me?”
Thea loved Elle right then and there. She wasn’t afraid of her.
Elle turned to Thea and snapped. “And you, why do you think you’re here?”
“I don’t know yet, but I’m willing to learn.”
Elle smiled at Thea. “So long as you follow everything I say, then I’ve got a good feeling we’ll get along.”
“And we did. Elle didn’t have the beauty that the candidates possessed, but she had the ability to turn these faces into something more. The other candidates didn’t see that,” Thea elaborates, sitting back again. “She was my mentor and friend. She never gave me any special treatment. She could make others cry, but not me. I could never get mad at her. She taught me the ropes of pageantry and gave me tips in the screening process. It’s especially hard for a provincial girl like me, but I was able to catch up to the other candidates over time. Everett was right. I can do better in the city.”
The screening for the nationals was laborious. A lot of walking, a lot of smiling, a lot of questions and answers. For someone with limited exposure like Thea, some of the questions were hard, so most of the time, she’d come to Elle and ask her about certain topics and issues in the world. It gave her confidence in the question-and-answer portion, and she always answered with hope, sincerity and compassion.
Thea was officially a Lady Siquijor in the national pageantry as the competition progressed. There were forty out of eighty who passed the elimination. And Thea’s name was the battle cry of the people from Luzon to Mindanao. The locals in her hometown were celebrating her success. Finally, they got to have a Lady Siquijor after so many attempts.
With Thea’s position in the pageantry, she also got to rekindle and restart her romance with Everett. They were both pretty proud of each other, and she was thankful for him. In the coming days, life had just gotten better for her. People started making posters and banners to cheer for her, and Siquijor was treating the coronation night like a holiday. Some were even saving up to come to Manila and watch in person Siquijor’s proudest moment.
Thea was favored to win, and she didn’t mind it at all. If it made everyone around her happy, then so was she. It was a beautiful, glimmering world of beauties, and she was more than ready for the crown.
“You’re a former beauty queen!” Cleo exclaims at the revelation. “Why didn’t you tell us, Ma?”
Anne gives Cleo a sidelong glance before taking another gulp out of her beer. “It never really came up in the conversation, Leo.”
This just made Cleo feel bad. Why did she never think to ask?
“I thought I’d left it all behind, but since it’s come to this . . .” Thea trails off, showing Cleo some more pictures. “Well, I withdrew from the competition.”
Cleo’s jaw almost drops. “You withdrew? Why? Ma, you were going to be the Lady Pearl of the Philippines! Wha—”
But Thea’s smiling at Cleo, and it’s so sweet and full of understanding. She radiates love and kindness. And it hits Cleo why her mother never told her.
Cleo. It was her.
Cleo blinks tears away. She looks up at Anne, trying to confirm that she’s read the situation right. When Anne smiles back, she knows it is real. Anne pulls her chair closer to Cleo and stares at her.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, Leo,” Anne whispers, looking worriedly at Cleo. “I didn’t know how. Are you mad at me?”
Cleo can’t believe Anne’s asking her that. “Why would I get mad at you? You were here for Ma when I couldn’t be. I’m so sorry.”
It killed Cleo to know that her mother withdrew from the competition because of her—the product of love between Thea and Everett. She was the reason Thea had stepped out of her limelight when she was at the peak of the most significant break of her life. She, Cleo, had killed her mother’s career, and there was no changing that.
Cleo can’t help but cry out of frustration. “Ma, I’m so sorry!”
“Anak, why are you crying?” Thea brushes Cleo’s tears away, wrapping her arms around her two daughters. “It’s okay. I don’t regret any of it. Even your father. You’re the best blessings that ever came into my life.”
“B-but how did you survive all that?” Cleo wants to go back to the past and make her mother choose differently, but life doesn’t work out that way. It devastates her.
Thea was throwing up a week before the coronation night, and Everett had just left the country. The pageant found out about their relationship, so he was fired. She wanted to ask the other girls about pregnancy, but she knew they’d have different opinions. They’d either tell her to keep the baby or to abort it. Or she could do whatever she wanted since it was her body.
But Thea wasn’t even sure about the baby yet. What if she was just sick? So, she kept it to herself and mindlessly went through the swimsuit competition. It felt slightly different walking in two-piece thinking about the growing baby inside her womb. As she walked, she could feel the dizzy spells brought about by the changes in her body. After a few more days, she was sure she was pregnant. She was petrified.
Three days before the coronation night, Thea had decided to talk to Elle. It was terrible for her because she knew how this would disappoint Elle. She believed Elle was rooting for her, which made it worse.
“Well, then, you don’t have a choice. You understand I have to tell the officials,” Elle said, point-blank. No sugar coating.
Thea sighed, apologizing for everything. She was going to disappoint everyone by getting pregnant, but she wasn’t going to let this baby go.
“Or wait—let’s not do that. You voluntarily withdraw from the pageant. It’s the lesser of two evils. You don’t need to tell the officials. Just write a letter to the management that you’re withdrawing from the competition for personal reasons. I’ll take the letter to them while you get packed and be gone. I’m going to get you a taxi at the back entrance of the hotel because I assume you don’t want the public to know about this?”
Everything Elle had said was perfect. Thea agreed, but she had a thousand more problems. “I appreciate your help, but I don’t know where I’ll go.”
“You can stay at my friend’s house. Take some time to think things through.”
Thea was moved and amazed that Elle was continuing to help her despite what Thea had done. She would forever be indebted to Elle. So that’s what she did. She stayed with Elle’s friends and thought things through. She sent a letter to her family and apologized. Her family was disappointed in her, but they were still her family, so they sent her money to get started.
Soon, Thea left, not wanting to impose any more than she already had. She rented a cheap room in Caloocan City, cut her hair, and sold afternoon snacks to make some money. After that, she was all on her own.
And then, one Saturday afternoon, as Thea was in her snack stand selling banana cues, those well-loved golden brown sugar-coated caramelized bananas, she was surprised to find a man calling her name. It was Everett.
“Your father figured it out and came back because it was the right thing to do. We got married out of a sense of responsibility and at your grandparents’ request. I know this is too much to digest tonight, and I’m sorry, Cleo.” Thea bows her head, tears freely falling, and this hurts Cleo so much that she drops down on her knees and pulls her mother’s head against her chest.
“No. I’m sorry,” Cleo says, her heart constricting at the crack of her mother’s voice. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”
Cleo jolts awake in the early hours of the morning. She checks her phone and sees it’s only 5 a.m. Her first thought is Owen’s board exams. She hasn’t asked him about it, but then again, he didn’t say anything about it either, which could only mean he failed.
Cleo sits up on her bed and closes her eyes. She realizes she’s been so self-absorbed she didn’t even think to ask Owen about his results. She didn’t even ask her mother about her life—didn’t know anything about her mother’s past until now. She gets up, washes her face, and takes a bottle of water from the refrigerator. Then, she goes back up to the rooftop where they talked last night and sits on the folding chair.
Taking deep breaths, Cleo gazes at the sky. The sun’s just coming up, and it will soon cover the world in its light once again. She’s thinking about her life, remembering her childhood, and reflecting. She’s taking stock of everything—actions, plans, and dreams. She’s taking stock of who she had been until now and who she’s becoming. It’s quiet, so she has all her thoughts to herself as she looks over the tops of houses that are almost all the same color and height. The rooftop also gives her cleaner air, and she figures it’s because of her mother’s plants. Thea probably misses her hometown. She brought Siquijor here.
In Cleo’s mind, she’s asking herself: why am I trying to be a star for the sake of being a star? Just to make it big? To prove something to my father, who has never really been part of our lives?
And then Cleo tries her best to remember everything she did during her early years. At eleven years old, she’d been modeling to earn money for the family. Her father sent them money, but not very consistently. It was something, but it was never going to support them. Cleo didn’t make huge money. It was just enough to support the house and her mother. Meanwhile, she showed up on time for the modeling jobs. She was perfect for catalog shoots and local runways as she was tall and slender. She became a sought-after respected model.
Cleo was in a print and TV ad for skateboards at age sixteen. She was “the girl” in the skateboard commercial, and her job was to sit and look pretty while the boy skateboarded because they were selling the skateboards to the boys. The message was that if the boy could skateboard well, girls would like him. What happened was that the gorgeous boy was a terrible skateboarder, and the crew was getting frustrated. He couldn’t do it, but Cleo could—in fact, she was brilliant.
That video of Cleo wound up on UsTube, and it went viral on social media sites. Many viewers loved it, but plenty of others said she looked like a buffoon. They accused her of stealing the commercial from the boy. She seemed arrogant instead of confident. And then came the postings on the comments section, branding her as the girl who got the job because she was Direk Everett’s daughter. They thought her skateboarding was faked when it had been a hundred percent genuine, all her.
So that early bit of fame hadn’t even been pleasant. And now she was asking, what did fame really mean to her? What was she supposed to do with it?
In this quiet, private moment, she makes a plan, and this time, she’s going to be different. There’s a sure promise in her, a feeling of determination and power. Trouble is written all over her face, but this troublemaker isn’t going to lose.