Do you have an awful auntie? One that never allows you to stay up to watch your favourite television programme? Or an aunt who makes you eat up every last spoonful of her revolting rhubarb crumble, even though she knows you hate rhubarb? Maybe your aunt gives her pet poodle a big slobbering wet kiss and then immediately gives you a big slobbering wet kiss too? Or does your aunt scoff all the most delicious chocolates from the box, leaving you with just the dreaded black cherry liqueur? Perhaps your aunt demands you wear that horrendously itchy jumper she knitted for you at Christmas? The one which reads ‘I Love My Auntie’ in huge purple letters on the front?
However awful your auntie might be, she will never be in the same league of awfulness as Aunt Alberta.
Aunt Alberta is the most awful aunt who ever lived.
Would you like to meet her?
Yes? I thought you would.
Here she is in all her awful awfulness…
Are you sitting uncomfortably? Then I will begin…
Meet the other characters in this story…
The young Lady Stella Saxby.
This is Soot. He is a chimney sweep.
Wagner is a Great Bavarian Mountain Owl.
Gibbon is the ancient butler of Saxby Hall.
Detective Strauss is a policeman.