My stomach did a funny little flip when his eyes met mine. Although the bar was crowded with intoxicated students, the cacophony of feminine laughter and hip-hop music faded away. The phenomenon was familiar, and I found it addictive. I found these moments with him addictive. His cocky, crooked smile made my heart race and my blood heat.
I leaned on the bar that separated me from Joseph, my body swaying toward his without conscious thought. We’d only ever exchanged the briefest physical contact when he pressed free drinks into my hand, his long fingers brushing against mine.
I was crushing hard on the breathtaking bartender, but so were most of the women who frequented the dive bar where it was easy to get served underage. While I wasn’t usually one to bat my lashes and flirt my way into free drinks, the connection I felt to Joseph was electric. I wasn’t intentionally acting coy; I simply couldn’t resist the chemistry between us.
And although he always lingered when he served me drinks with that heart-stopping smile and those dancing aquamarine eyes, I couldn’t tell if the attraction was one-sided. He likely flirted with most of the girls in the bar. After all, he was trying to get tips.
“Same as usual, Ashlyn?” His velvety voice caressed my name, thrumming deeper than the heavy bassline that pulsed through the bar.
“Um, yes, please,” I breathed. I was far from composed, but I couldn’t help getting hot and flustered when he captured me in his intense, flame-blue gaze. With his dark eyelashes and sensual mouth, his features might have seemed almost feminine. But the sharp line of his stubble-covered jaw and defined cheekbones were decidedly masculine. His black hair curled slightly around his chiseled face. I craved to run my fingers through it, to see if it was as thick and soft as it appeared.
His eyes finally dropped from mine as he filled a small plastic cup with ice, poured a generous measure of orange vodka, and topped it with cranberry juice. I sucked in a breath when he released me from his gaze, and my own hungry stare drifted lower as I admired the way his muscles bulged and flexed beneath his indecently tight black t-shirt.
My tongue darted out to wet my lips. I could feel his eyes burning into me once again, and I realized he’d noticed my wanton reaction to him. My cheeks flamed, and I stared at the highly polished bar top.
He set the drink in front of me, but he didn’t draw away. His hand lingered on the cup, waiting for me to take it. I peeked up at him, wondering for the hundredth time if there was more to his flirtatious behavior than a desire for a tip.
My fingers trembled slightly as I reached for the drink, anticipating the physical contact. When my hand closed around the chilled cup, he slid his fingers between mine. The light glide of his calloused skin made my flesh pebble, and I suppressed a shiver.
“Hey, are you done?” An annoyed, feminine voice sounded from behind me.
I jolted away from Joseph, the moment shattered. My embarrassment surged in a searing wave, and I tossed a five-dollar bill into the tip jar before darting away, nearly spilling my beverage as I hastened to put distance between us.
I weaved through the crowd, returning to Jayme. My best friend leaned on a high table in the back corner, smirking at me. My body still burned with mortification and something darker that I chose to ignore. I could barely meet her sparkling green eyes.
She flipped her long blonde hair over her shoulder and addressed me drily. “So, where’s my drink?”
Crap.
I’d been so flustered by my body’s helpless reaction to Joseph that I’d forgotten to get a vodka-cranberry for my friend, too.
“Sorry,” I muttered. “I, um, got distracted.”
“Of course you did. Hottie McHotstuff was practically eye-fucking you for five minutes. When are you going to hit that, girl?”
I shook my head. Jayme might be completely confident when it came to ensnaring men—different guys rotated in and out of our apartment on a regular basis—but I was more reserved. Well, to be honest, I was shy. And wary, after being cheated on by my boyfriend last year. I was what Jayme termed a serial monogamist. I didn’t trust easily, so when I finally did start to open up to someone, I committed fully.
Jimmy cheating on me had set me back even further when it came to trust issues.
“You’re crazy for not tapping that,” Jayme declared. “You know Joseph would come home with you if you invited him. Let’s stay until close, and then you can make your move.”
I rolled my eyes. “You know that won’t happen. I wish you wouldn’t tease me about it.”
She held up her hands in a show of contrition. “I’m not teasing. I’m trying to get you some well-deserved action.”
I blew out a sigh. I couldn’t put myself on the line like that, especially when I feared rejection. Jayme seemed sure that my invitation would be accepted, but I wasn’t so certain. I still wasn’t convinced that Joseph was truly interested in me.
She made a little waving motion, shifting the subject. “Okay, let’s start with an easier mark, then. You know Stu is into you. You kissed at that house party last weekend. He’s kind of an entitled douche, but he’s hot. It’s not like you have to marry him or anything.” She smirked on the last, teasing just a little.
My pulse stuttered, but not in the same way Joseph affected me. This was a nervous reaction. The last time I’d been with Stu, he’d provided me with a steady supply of some mystery cocktail that’d been strong enough to burn my throat with every sip. I’d known it was highly alcoholic, but I’d overindulged to counteract my social anxiety. By the end of the night, I’d been rolling my hips while dancing with wild abandon, and Stu had moved in. I’d kissed him in a drunken frenzy in the middle of the party.
It wasn’t like me to behave that way, and I was deeply embarrassed by the memory. Jayme was right. I’d been a while since I’d gotten intimate with a guy, and the alcohol in my system had loosened my inhibitions too much.
“I’m not proud of that,” I said truthfully.
“So, you don’t like him?”
I shrugged. Stu was conventionally attractive, but he didn’t make my heart race and my belly clench.
Jayme gave me a sly smile. “Well, you’d better make up your mind fast, because he’s on his way over here.” She pushed away from the table. “I’m going to get a drink. I’ll be back soon. Maybe. Probably not. Get it, girl.”
“Jayme,” I said sharply. She simply grinned and slipped into the crowd.
“Hey, Ashlyn. You need a drink?” I recognized Stu’s voice behind me.
I closed my eyes for a moment and took a breath before turning to face him. I managed a polite smile and raised my full cup. “I’m good,” I assured him. “But thanks.”
“Next one’s on me.” He flashed a wide, boyish grin. With his dark blond hair and forest green eyes, Stu was cute in a clean-cut, preppy way. He wore a slightly formal blue button-up shirt and boat shoes, exuding casual country-club vibes.
Preppy and entitled wasn’t my usual type, but he was undeniably charming.
“I’m glad I caught you here tonight. I’ve been wanting to ask you something,” he said, still grinning that cocky grin.
“Yeah?” I shifted on my feet, and my fingers twined together in an unconscious nervous tic. If he was about to ask me back to his place, I was going to have to deal with the awkwardness of turning him down. No matter how long it’d been since I’d slept with a guy, I wasn’t interested in casual sex.
“We’re hosting a party at the Fly clubhouse next weekend. I want you to be my date.” His chin tipped back slightly, his posture swelling with pride and a touch of haughtiness.
The Fly was one of the prestigious, exclusive final clubs at Harvard. It was kind of a big deal that Stu was a member. And it was kind of a big deal for him to invite me, especially since I didn’t really run in those circles. My introverted nature had made the vetting process for final clubs far too daunting to consider, and I’d assumed they weren’t going to be part of my Harvard experience.
It would be cool to see the inside of the clubhouse, but Stu wasn’t exactly asking me to be his date. More like he was making an announcement. Even though these parties could be infamously decadent, I wasn’t very impressed with his attitude.
“Oh,” I managed, stalling. Stu’s demeanor rubbed me the wrong way, but I really was tempted to go to the party.
His brows rose, and one corner of his mouth ticked up in a teasing smile. “Oh? Is that a yes?”
Definitely cocky. But there was a touch of uncertainty in his eyes that softened my irritation. He didn’t want to be rejected by me any more than I wanted to be rejected by Joseph. At least Stu had the guts to ask me out, unlike me when it came to making a move on Joseph.
I smiled up at him. “Sure. I’ll be your date.”
Even though I wasn’t interested in him romantically, dressing up and getting an inside look at the Fly clubhouse would be fun. And like Jayme said, I didn’t have to marry him. It was just a date, not a promise for a long-term relationship.
“But only if Jayme can come too,” I added with forced assertiveness. Not only did I need my bestie as an anxiety buffer, but she would be even more thrilled to attend the party than I was.
Stu returned my smile with a triumphant grin, and his gaze left mine to search for Jayme. When he caught sight of her, his eyes flicked up and down her body, appraising. “For sure. There’s always room on the guest list for beautiful ladies.”
I smothered a frown. I didn’t love the idea that Jayme and I might’ve been invited to the event only because the guys wanted to pack the room with women for them to ogle.
Stu’s grin turned sharp enough to make me edge away on instinct. I fought down the budding suspicion that female guests weren’t invited solely to serve as arm candy. We were fresh meat.
This is just how it is, I reminded myself. Most students were desperate to attend these parties. The members could be as selective with the guest list as they wanted. Really, I should be flattered that Stu wanted me to come as his date. And it would be comforting to have Jayme with me. It was nice of Stu to include her so easily. Wasn’t it?
He raised his beer and touched it to my cup, sealing our promised date with a celebratory “cheers.” I realized I hadn’t said anything for several seconds, so I hastily tipped my own drink back in response. He drained half his beer in a few long gulps, but I lowered mine after no more than a sip. I didn’t want to get drunk and lose control again.
Stu’s disconcerting energy was putting me on edge, and it would be far too easy to down my vodka in an attempt to soothe my mounting nervousness. I knew my anxiety level wasn’t rational, and I wished Jayme was at my side. My bestie always grounded me when she sensed I was about to spiral.
My gaze flicked to the crowded dance floor, searching for her.
Stu snatched my attention back immediately, wrapping his hand around my chilled cup. His fingers closed over mine, but my small shudder at his touch was nothing like the shiver that Joseph had elicited. The gorgeous bartender’s hand had been calloused and steady, his heat sinking into my skin to warm my insides. Stu’s fingers were cold and clammy from holding his frosted pint glass.
Before I could recoil, he boldly firmed his grip and lifted my drink toward his lips. I gaped at him as he took a sip without asking. He didn’t release my hand, holding my fingers captive around the cup.
Before I could formulate an indignant response, he grimaced and lowered the sweet drink. I huffed out a small, relieved breath when he finally slid his fingers from mine so that he could set my cup down on the high-topped table beside me.
“No wonder you’re barely sipping that cheap shit.” His nose wrinkled. “I know this place is a dive, but they could expand their liquor selection. My IPA is decent, though. We can share.”
He lifted his glass and reached for me, trying to get me to mirror the way he’d tasted my drink.
I snatched my hand away before he could make contact. I didn’t want to feel his clammy fingers clamp over mine again. “No, thanks.”
“Come on, Ashlyn. Don’t be like that.”
I pressed my lips together and shook my head, not caring for the peer pressure.
He’s just flirting, I told myself as I attempted to smother my unease. His proprietary touches were making my stomach knot, but that anxiety was unreasonable. Wasn’t it?
Just last weekend, I’d practically wrapped myself around him while we made out. He wasn’t some creepy stranger. There was no reason for me to interpret his nearness as anything other than confident flirtation.
I’d allowed him to get me drunk before, but I was more clearheaded this time. I didn’t want to repeat the experience, and I definitely didn’t want to repeat the wicked hangover.
“Okay, then.” He set his beer down on the table. He was still smiling, and I managed a small smile in return.
I didn’t want my anxiety to rule my life, and I knew I’d regret it if I allowed my nerves to ruin Stu’s invite to the final club party. Jayme would be so excited when I gave her the news. I focused on my friend’s happiness to dispel the weird vibes that were setting me on edge.
Suddenly, the stale scent of Stu’s IPA washed over my face as he imposed himself in my personal space. I took an instinctive step back and bumped into the barstool behind me. I stumbled, and he caught my upper arms to prevent me from falling.
“Thanks,” I mumbled, embarrassed. I tried to shift away again, but he didn’t let me go.
“I think you owe me a kiss,” he announced, leaning in so his hot breath fanned over my lips. He smelled like beer and cigarettes. My stomach twisted.
“I don’t think so,” I countered, trying to sound firmly assertive. Instead, the refusal came out a little breathlessly. Even though I’d kissed him before, I was distinctly uncomfortable with his nearness and his persistent grip on my arms.
“Don’t be a cocktease. You know you want it.”
My stomach churned as my anxiety soured into fear. This wasn’t simply arrogant flirting. When we’d kissed in a drunken frenzy, his hands had been rough and groping, but I hadn’t exactly been at my best, either. I’d dismissed his pawing as sloppy intoxication.
I wasn’t sure if he was drunk right now, but there was no excuse for calling me a cocktease. My skin crawled where he maintained his firm grip on my upper arms.
“You’re wrong,” I insisted, barely managing to force more than a whispered denial up my constricted throat. “I don’t want this. I want you to let me go.” I tried to twist out of his hold, but he didn’t release me. Instead, he leaned closer.
“Take your hands off her.” The menace in the low, masculine growl made me shudder.
I looked past Stu with wide eyes, searching for my savior. Joseph’s flame-blue gaze burned into the boy who’d trapped me. My mouth went dry, but his fury wasn’t directed at me.
Stu finally let me go so he could face off against Joseph. I quickly put distance between us, my back hitting the wall after a few steps. Stu placed his body in front of mine, blocking me off in a clearly territorial demonstration.
“Get away from her.” Joseph’s voice was a low, fierce rumble. He had several inches of height on Stu, even though the preppy boy was a little over six feet tall. Joseph’s impressive muscles rippled with barely restrained violence.
Stu was either drunk enough or stupid enough that he didn’t back down.
“Fuck off,” he sneered.
Joseph moved with lightning speed, and his fists curled in the front of Stu’s shirt. He jerked the boy away from me and slammed him back against the wall, forcing several feet of distance between us.
“Leave,” he ordered coldly. “You’re banned. If I ever see you in here again—and if I ever see you anywhere near Ashlyn—you’ll answer to me.”
He held Stu in his burning stare a few seconds longer, impressing his will on the smaller man. When he finally released him, Stu shoved at his rock-solid chest in a show of petulance. Joseph barely swayed back an inch, standing his ground. His eyes narrowed on Stu, and the creep shot one last glare in my direction before sulking off toward the exit.
“You okay?”
I jolted when Joseph addressed me. His low, soothing tone was in sharp contrast to the menace that had imbued his voice when he’d threatened Stu.
“Um, yeah.” I realized I was trembling. I tried to still my shaking fingers. I wasn’t hurt, but the encounter had been unnerving.
“I’m going to take you home.” It wasn’t a question, but I found myself nodding in response. I didn’t want to leave without an escort in case Stu decided to wait for me outside.
The bar had gone quiet around us as all the focus shifted toward the altercation between Stu and Joseph. Dozens of eyes pricked at my skin like needles, and I was suddenly desperate to return to the safe solitude of my apartment.
“Come on. I’ve got you.” Joseph reached out his hand, giving me the option to initiate physical contact. After Stu had inserted himself in my personal space, I appreciated that Joseph allowed me to choose whether or not I wanted him to touch me.
I wasn’t at all afraid of him. How could I be, when he’d just swooped in and saved me like my own personal knight in shining armor? Although his assertion that he’d take me home had been firm, he was waiting for my consent.
I placed my hand in his, and a sense of safety rolled over me, easing the knots in my stomach. His long fingers closed around mine in a gentle grip. I breathed out a relieved sigh and gratefully followed him toward the exit. The crowd parted to avoid Joseph’s hulking form. He walked ahead of me, his big body shielding mine. I squeezed his hand tighter, and his thumb rubbed across my palm in a reassuring caress.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Jayme just before we stepped outside. She barely paused her carefree dancing to give me a thumbs-up. She’d been so deep in the crowd that I doubted she’d seen what’d happened with Stu. My bestie would’ve come to my rescue alongside Joseph. And she’d have a lot more questions about my decision to leave with the gorgeous bartender so early in the evening if she’d seen the scuffle.
As it was, Jayme had no inkling that Stu had freaked me out, and she was simply happy to see me holding hands with Joseph. I suspected she wouldn’t be coming back to our apartment for a while, granting me plenty of alone-time with my crush.
Now that he was actually going to take me home after weeks of sexual tension building between us, it seemed surreal. I’d second-guessed his interest in me so many times, but there was no longer any doubt in my mind. Joseph wanted me.