A BOARDROOM HOTTIES EXCLUSIVE BY KATHLEEN KRAVEN
Three months after the birth of their first child, the Earl Grey Corporation’s resident hottie Earl Grey and his fiancée, Amazon warehouse employee Anna Steal, have tied the knot. The couple was married in a hush-hush ceremony in Seattle’s newly renovated Space Needle this April—and Boardroom Hotties was there with the exclusive!
Earl, 28, and Anna, 22, began dating nearly a year ago and caused an uproar when they “came out” in public at Earl’s drunk diving charity ball. It also caused a stir around the Boardroom Hotties office, mainly because we had all assumed the mysterious Earl Grey batted for the other team. Not so!
Longtime Boardroom Hotties readers may remember Earl and Anna’s close call last year, when their helicopter crashed into the Space Needle. Thankfully, Earl escaped without a scratch on his gorgeous face. Anna’s injuries were more severe, but she recovered quickly thanks to celebrity doctor Drew Pinsky. Thirty-two tourists lost their lives in the accident, which totaled the historic landmark. Earl financed reconstruction of the towering structure, and the Space Needle now stands over 1,800 feet tall—nearly three times its previous height. Word on the street is that its new distinctive pinkish hue and “veiny” appearance are modeled after Earl’s own “space needle.” This reporter was unable to confirm the likeness, unfortunately.
The wedding ceremony was attended by close friends and family only. The groom’s side of the aisle was packed with local celebrities, including Earl’s adoptive father (and 1986 Boardroom Hottie of the Month) Bill Gates. The bride’s nudist mother and stepfather made for some interesting family portraits!
The bride wore a tasteful white Louis Vuitton for Target bridal gown designed specifically for the occasion; the groom wore Tom Ford (literally—he draped the designer over his shoulders). Standing up for the couple were this reporter (as the maid of honor, celebrating eleven months of sobriety) and best man Tom Cruise. The ceremony was officiated by the Reverend Brent Spiner.
The happy newlyweds will be honeymooning with their infant son at Triassic Safari, Earl’s private dinosaur park in Hawaii that he totally thought of way before Michael Crichton wrote Jurassic Park.