A friend of mine who would one day die of his addiction was living on Maine’s coastline attending a two-year program at a prestigious photography institute. I would travel north from Boston to visit him, spending a few days in a life that made more sense to me than my own. One weekend I arrived early. My friend would not be available until the evening. I picked up some wine and went to a spot on the coast. For a number of hours, I sat at the edge of a forest looking upon the vastness of the Atlantic Ocean. As the wine kicked in, I felt a deep peace settle over me. My mind grew still, my body softened, my heart opened. I felt connected to the timeless, eternal now. At a cookout later that night, I would be embarrassingly drunk, but the moment at the water’s edge has stayed with me.
Carl Jung expressed his bewilderment at the difficulty of treating addiction. He theorized that the illness was spiritual in nature. He thought the person in question might recover if she experienced a spiritual transformation. To understand addiction, we must reflect on what the addict is seeking.
Reflection
What were you seeking in active addiction? What are you seeking now? Make a list.