I was not in a position to learn a great deal at my first 12-step meetings. I began to feel comfortable after a week or so. I knew which meetings had good coffee and where the bathrooms were. Eventually I began to be able to listen to what people were saying. Most people seemed to be saying extremely personal things about their drinking. It seemed that the admission that they were having a problem was part of it. This one did this, that one did that. It all made me uncomfortable, but I did not think anyone was making things up. These people had lived what they were talking about.
After they described their drinking, they would go on to say how heartfelt their desire to stay sober was becoming. This sincere desire manifested in a willingness to take action. I heard how “the program” works. I heard that because the program works, it was the speaker’s intention to go to any lengths to follow it. By the time I had been sober for a month, I knew who was sincere in their desire to stay sober and who wasn’t; I was able to recognize the resolve of wise intention when someone had it. Seeing this resolve in others helped me find my own.
Reflection
Who is modeling the resolve to stay sober for you in a way that is helping you find your own?