CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
ZARA AND CHAD GAVE EACH OTHER a round of kudos for getting the kids in bed, stories read, and prayers said. Both Sammy and Charlotte had actually fallen asleep, and it was only eight o’clock. They had a few hours to watch a television show and relax together.
Settled onto the couch, a gray knit blanket over them, Zara rested her head on Chad’s chest, the remote in her hand. Almost as if their celebrations had caused it, a thump came from upstairs at the same time that she pressed the power button. “What was that?”
“No idea.” Chad leaned her up and got to his feet.
Zara clicked the TV off again and followed him. Tiny voices carried into the hall, then hushed. They listened at the door before Chad finally peeked his head around the corner. He motioned for Zara to look too.
Charlotte had climbed into the crib and lay next to her brother, a light blanket covering both of them. Sammy slurped on his Binky while Charlotte ran her little fingers over his fuzzy hair.
Zara and Chad eased away, sneaking down the stairs as if attempting a perfect getaway.
Chad headed back to the couch, but Zara tugged on his arm. “Shouldn’t we put her back in her own bed?”
“I don’t know. They look content. And it’s their very first night here. Maybe we should just let them be. It might be what they’re used to.”
“But what if she rolls over on him? He could suffocate.”
Chad pulled her into a hug. “I don’t think that little sprig up there could manage it. Don’t worry so much. Kids are tougher than you think.”
Maybe that was true physically, but Zara had seen the invisible damage that broke her sister, convicted her mother, and still plagued her to this day.
She checked on the kids at least five times in the night, unable to sleep through visions of Sammy smothering. Each time, they were snuggled up together, Charlotte’s arm lying like a shield over her brother.
Before the sun had vaulted the mountain range to the east, Zara was fully awake. Not knowing what to expect with the kids, her brain wouldn’t allow her to sleep. She eased her feet to the floor, careful not to rouse Chad or the dog, but as soon as she took her robe from the chair beside the bed, Pickles pounced, grabbing hold of the hem.
“What are you doing?” Chad’s voice was heavy with sleep. “Are the kids up?”
“No.” She spoke in a hushed tone as she unwound the puppy’s teeth from the fabric. “I just woke up early. Go back to sleep.”
“You’re going to be exhausted today. You were up half the night too.”
“How would you know that if you weren’t also awake?” She smiled in the dim light.
Chad started to get up, but she put her hand on his bare chest. “Lie back down. I’ll take Pickles outside and start the coffee.”
“No way. Your coffee is weak. We’re going to need my recipe today.”
She poked her head into the room next door to theirs, assuming she’d find the kids in the same position they’d held through the night, but this time Charlotte was on her bed. Zara hadn’t heard her move. What if she’d taken a wrong turn and fallen down the stairs, or managed to get outside and lost? How did mothers cope with all the things that could go wrong?
The puppy started to wiggle in her arms, his gaze set on Charlotte.
Zara hustled downstairs and put him in the yard before he could wake up his new playmates.
Dishes from last night’s dinner still sat alongside the sink. She wasn’t a great housekeeper in the best of circumstances, but with all this sudden parenting, she’d fallen completely off her game. Before Zara could fill the sink with warm, soapy water, Chad was behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist. She leaned her head back, letting his warmth comfort her. Living in the same house, being husband and wife, was still so new and fresh. Her heart was fully his, yet it needed to stretch and make room for Charlotte and Sammy too.
Chad started the coffee, its rich scent filling the air as Zara dropped dishes into sudsy water to soak. He brought two mugs down from the cupboard and retrieved the creamer from the fridge. “We did it. The first night.”
“It might be a bit premature to celebrate. At least wait until we’ve completed twenty-four hours. Plus, Kelly, the kids’ new caseworker, is coming today to check in on us. I can imagine a hundred ways that could go terribly wrong.”
He shrugged. “Or it could go great.”
“Easy for you to say. You’ll be at work.” She gathered her hair over her right shoulder.
Chad poured creamer into her mug, then coffee. “I’m really sorry about that. If there was a choice, I’d be home today and for at least a week or two, but I’ve used the majority of my vacation time, and I’ve only been at this job a few months.”
She took the warm cup from his hands. “I know. It’s not your fault. Actually, none of this is your fault. They’re my sister’s kids.”
A flash of sadness or maybe disappointment ran across his face. “I wish you wouldn’t do that.”
“What?”
“Make this a problem you’re responsible for and . . . leave me out.”
She put down the coffee and took his hand. “I’m sorry. I just don’t want you to feel burdened. We’re supposed to be newlyweds.”
“We’re also supposed to be a family. Your people are my people and all that. I want to be as much a part of their lives as you are.”
“How did I get so lucky? You are a precious man.”
He nodded, an impish smile on his face. “I like you too.” He kissed the top of her head.
The sun flooded the field out the window with vivid light, and Zara was reminded of the beauty of God’s amazing creation. A girl like her didn’t end up in a place like this. But here she was. And though she and Chad had been given a hard blow when they found out she carried the Hunter gene, they still had children to love, even if only for a short time. By next summer, they’d be back to just two again. There’d still be questions about how they would eventually grow their family, but at least they’d know how much or how little they wanted to pursue children.
Zara thanked God for Sammy’s obvious health and the doctors who would have checked him thoroughly at birth. What a blessing that he’d beat the odds—Eve had to be a carrier if she was. Fury burned as Zara thought of how irresponsible her sister had been to get pregnant when she could have passed on the gene. But like Zara only a short time ago, Eve probably had no idea this danger lurked in their DNA.
Chad headed upstairs with his coffee.
Zara followed to check on the kids once more. As she hit the top step, she heard Charlotte reassuring Sammy that everything was okay. How sweet. She was so caring when it came to her brother. But as Zara turned the corner, her mouth fell open. Charlotte was back in the crib, trying to secure the tab on a dry diaper she’d put onto Sammy in a crooked way that was still impressive for a five-year-old.
“Hey there. You don’t have to change Sammy. That’s my job.”
Charlotte started, her hand reaching across the toddler as if she could protect him from some unknown danger.
“I’m sorry.” Zara moved slowly forward. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“You didn’t.” Her eyes were rounded and intense. “I’m sorry, Zara.”
“You can call me Auntie or Aunt Zara if you want.”
She shook her head but didn’t say anything.
“Can I help you out of the crib?”
“I can do it myself.”
“I know you can, but I’m still learning how to take care of a five-year-old. I need all the practice you can give me.”
Her forehead creased, but she stood and let Zara lift her out.
She was thin but strong, and Zara ached to hold her for a minute, but Charlotte tugged her body away. Someday, maybe that grit and determination would serve her in a healthy way. As for now, it felt like a wall Charlotte kept to guard herself from others.