“For it is better that we slay a coward than through a coward be all slain.” —The Legends of King Arthur and His Knights’
Del
The lights are off. Air, I swear, is getting trapped in my lungs as I try to suck more and more in, laying there, wishing I wasn’t so helpless, wishing I could do something to make King happy again. Days ago, the biggest problem we had was that I was falling apart over the fact that I loved someone else, and now all I can see is this man next to me, this broken man being forced to rise up.
Is he ready?
Are any of us?
I make a mental note to contact my uncle. I know he’ll be at the commission, and I wouldn’t put it past him to try something, but my heart tells me, as corrupt as he is, he’s been given everything.
Money.
Notoriety.
And a position within the Families, a firm position, so he would never hurt the actual Capo—most people really wouldn’t, they’re too petrified, and on top of that, just because you off a Campisi means jack shit, you’d have to kill the entire line in order to possibly even become the Capo, and there are so many people in line for it, my uncle would have to kill everyone.
He’s too much of a chicken to even try that.
I sigh.
King’s arm lands across my stomach out of the blue as he flops onto his own stomach and turns toward me, his head pressed against the pillow. “Want to run away together?”
I smile; there he is. “That depends. Do we have to take Maksim since you guys are like a package deal?”
He laughs. “Yeah, Izzy would kill us. Then again, she has been wanting to travel.” He flips onto his back. “I don’t know what to do.”
I scoot closer to him, my black shorts ride up and my cami presses tight against my breasts. “Well, you could sit here and stress about it or actually sleep and wake up well-rested, don’t borrow tomorrow’s problems for today.”
“So wise.” He starts playing with the strap of my shirt.
My entire body feels like a live wire with each snap of the strap. “You know, we have four more days left.”
“Yeah, of the most perfect honeymoon in the history of honeymoons?” His laugh is sad. “I’m sorry I couldn’t give you everything you deserved.”
I frown and sit up. “What the hell are you talking about?”
He sits up with me, his hands reach for my wrists, sliding down to my hands. “I’m just saying I’m sorry I couldn’t give you weeks at the castle you deserve, shit even your own home and not my parents’. I just, I didn’t have time. All I have is the knowledge that I need to be here.”
I raise my right hand, cupping his cheek. “Where else would you be?”
“With you? On a honeymoon? Or better yet, at the house I built for you…”
I gasp. Completely shocked. “What?”
“Oh, yeah, so…” I’ve never seen him look embarrassed, but he looks like he’s about to hide under the bed. “So, I may have… built you a house.” He gulps.
I smack him with a pillow on the side of the head, sending him sailing toward the bottom of the bed and nearly off of it. “What the hell was that for? I tell you I built you a house, and you hit me?”
I hit him again and again while he curses, then I drop the pillow onto his face and smash it closer while straddling him. “You don’t just lead with, oh PS, I built you a house!”
I throw the pillow away while he gasps for air. “So you’re killing me?”
I shove his chest. “Yes! You can’t just say those things. You need to lead them in like. oh hey, I got you a pair of shoes, expensive shoes, and a dress; I bought you a car to park in your new garage and want to see your tiny starter home I rebuilt from the ground up wearing nothing but jeans and carrying a hammer around and—”
His eyebrows shoot up. He smirks. “No, no, please continue with this sexual fantasy of me shirtless with a hammer; I’ll wait.”
I shove him again. He grips my wrists and pulls me against his chest. “You know what I mean.”
“Truly, I don’t, and it’s not like I’ve had time to share all about the house building since it was literally getting built, sadly not by your shirtless husband, but by others while we were away. They finished today.”
“Just tell me you put in one nail with the hammer, and I’ll be happy,” I tease, loving that he’s smiling again and looks more like himself before I waltzed into his life and ruined everything by way of marriage.
Maybe it really is all my fault.
His hand lightly taps the side of my face in two small smacks. “Sorry was just trying to get rid of that look on your face.”
“You jerk!” I shove against his chest.
He bursts out laughing, and then I’m kissing him, not because I have to, but because I’m choosing to taste him.
He throws me onto my back, his mouth never leaving mine. It feels natural and perfect this moment. I smack him on the cheek the way he did me and laugh against his mouth when he curses against my lips, then try to scramble away when he grabs me by the ankles and tosses me over his shoulder, slapping my ass. “Nope, not letting you get away that easy.”
“We should sleep!” I say from my spot over his shoulder.
He smacks my ass again. “Later, when I feel like it. I am the Capo, after all.”
“Oh wow, arrogance, how surprising.”
He pinches my ass then slaps it again. “Oh, sorry, did that hurt?”
I start banging my hands on his back, smiling so wide my face hurts. He walks us back around the room and onto the bed, tossing me lightly against the remaining pillows. “Tell me no.”
“Wh-what?” I lean up on my elbows. “What do you mean tell you no?”
His eyes flicker with moisture. “Every time I have you, I want more, and right now, I’ve lost, or could potentially lose—everything.” He licks his full lips. “So don’t give me what I want just because I want it; give it to me because some small part of you wants to. Right now, I can’t handle—I can’t handle any more loss, Del, and I never even had you to begin with—I just need—”
I kiss him so hard I swear my lips will be bruised for years, and I won’t even care; I’ll stare into the mirror and see the markings and go that was the moment King was no longer the boy I married, but the man I wanted to live with.
I know Roman’s standing at the door.
But I’m not thinking about Roman.
My heart is sad for Roman, but right now, I’m King’s, and the very thought of having a countdown for our moments together makes me want to get sick.
“Let me be with you,” I say between kisses. “Tonight. Tomorrow—let me.”
It’s like King has no words. He grabs my cami and pulls it over my head. His hands immediately run down my shoulders, my breasts in awe and wonder. It’s impossible to look away from him, and I don’t want to.
Our eyes are locked as he pulls my shorts down then tosses his own shirt off to join the rest of the clothes on the floor.
“Bummer,” I tease. “No hammer.”
He bursts out laughing and then starts shoving down his black briefs. “Doesn’t mean I still can’t nail you.”
I laugh so hard I have tears coming down as we tumble in the sheets, I feel his smile against my neck, and I never want this moment to end.
This moment where the King is set free.
It’s everything, and even though I can feel hot against my thigh, I just want him to keep laughing, so I push him further. “Show me how hard, big boy.”
“Was probably a carpenter in another life.”
“Sexy.”
“So fucking sexy, even had my own tool belt.”
“Ah, did it come with the plastic tools they gave you at Fisher-Price or—”
He tickles my sides, his lips on my neck feel warm, his teeth graze my skin up and down the side until goosebumps rise on every inch of skin I have. I can’t contain my gasps as he tastes me, leaving no part of me unloved or untouched.
“Fuck Fisher-Price,” he says after another lingering kiss on my neck. He moves his lips to my ear. “Though, even if I had plastic… tools, I could still rock your world.”
“I believe you,” I say.
“Meh, I need to prove it, I think.” He flips me onto my stomach and thrusts into me from behind, then picks me up onto my knees, so I’m facing the very wall that leads to the door where Roman waits.
I close my eyes.
I grip the side of the headboard, and I close my eyes as the sound of us having sex fills the room.
It was so easy for him to slide into me because I was so ready for him and have been all day, despite what’s been going on. At first, I thought something was seriously wrong with me, but what if it’s right? What if all of this is right? I arch as he suddenly pulls me back onto his knees, moving me up and down, doing all the work while I reap all the benefits, and there are so many benefits with that cock of his. I feel him everywhere, so deep, so strong, so perfect, like his body knows exactly where to touch mine to drive me crazy.
“It’s too much,” I say as he goes deeper.
“Never.” He holds me there until my body spasms around him so hard I see stars. I feel him release inside me, and I have a lingering thought of—what if.
What if?
And I smile.
Minutes later, I’m cleaned up and lying next to him, only to hear a knock on the door. I scramble to it and open it expecting to see Roman, but it’s Mo on the other side, King’s mom.
“He wanted you to have this.” She hands me a note. “I don’t know why. As you can see, it’s been a rough twenty-four hours, but…” She swipes under her eyes; they’re black from lack of sleep, and she looks gaunt in her sweatshirt.
“What is it?” I ask.
She smiles sadly. “All I know is he said that you would know.”
“Okay.” I take the note. “Thank you.”
She nods and then walks down the hall.
Roman’s standing watch to the right, staring straight ahead while I hold the note in my hand. I truly don’t know what to say.
He speaks first.
“It was harder tonight.”
“What?”
“It was harder tonight…”
“What do you mean?”
He turns to me, his eyes fall. “He made you laugh.”
“What?”
“I would prefer he fuck you and leave the laughter to me. But he made you laugh over and over again, and all I kept thinking was—I wish it was just sex… it’s not just sex anymore… is it?” He doesn’t wait for my answer; he slowly pushes me back into the room and closes the door. “Either way,” he whispers through the door. “I’ll always love you, the best way I can, sometimes that means from a distance.”
Tears fill my eyes and slide down my cheeks as I touch the door with my fingers. The old me would have run out and told him he was wrong.
The version I’m living in now hesitates then slides down to the floor and cries.